Out of My Hands - A Randy Orton Fanfic

[Annaya]

Chapter 10


As the prom came closer, Randy felt more and more nervous about what he was going to do. He tries to hide it from Ally as much as he could, that he had something in his mind, but sometimes she would catch him just staring at her.

They were sitting under a tree at the back of the school near the cafeteria then, like they always do.

“Randy, eat something!” She said, “Lunch is almost over, you’ve not touched your food.”

“I’m not really hungry.” He said.

“But you still have to eat.” Ally told him. “You have practice later, and you need energy.” She took a banana out of her bag. “Here, have a banana.”

He took the banana but just held on to it. He was just staring at her as she was eating her sandwich while reading a book. She felt him staring at her, so she looked up.

“Something wrong?” She asked, concerned.

“No.” He said, “I just…want to look at you.”

She smiled, “You’re making me blush.” She said. “And why are you still not eating that?” She grabbed the banana and peeled it. “I’m really worried about you going to college now. Nobody’s going to take care of you there, you big baby.” She pinched his cheeks then gave him the banana back, “Come on, eat something huh?”

“All right.” He sighed.

He took the banana and ate it, and she watched until he was done. He thought about telling her right then that he wasn’t going to college but at boot camp

“Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t.” Randy said.

Then she scooted over next to him and leaned back on him, as she went back to reading her book. He put his arms around her shoulder and allowed her head to rest on his shoulder, with his cheek on her head.

“I love you.” He whispered.

She heard him but she was so enthralled at what she was reading that she didn’t recognize the sadness in his tone, and just burrowed into his arm even more.

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Prom night


Randy was feeling nervous as he was sitting in his car in front of Ally’s house. He could see the light from her room through the window and knew she was still getting ready, so he took his time to psych himself up at the task at hand.

“You’ve got to do it, Randal.” He said to himself. “You can’t put it off any longer, she has to know. Remember what your dad said, be a man. This is it, Randy. You got to do it.”

He got out of the car and looked up at her window, and again, his heart sank to his stomach, like all the other times that he pictured how she would react.

But he has decided on it, and there was no other way. It has to be tonight. He walked up to the front door an awaited his fate.


Ally sat in front of her mirror, brushing her hair. Last year, her mom had helped her get ready. She was the one who styled her hair, and put make-up on her.

This time, she had to do it on her own. She just had hair down, with a black crystal encrusted hair pin on one side. She didn’t put too much make up on as well, because she didn’t know how.

Her mom wasn’t home, and neither was her dad because he was working on a case that’s about to go to trial. Before, her dad would opt to work at home, but lately it seems like neither of them could stand being there. Not even for her sake.

Thinking about it, she felt her tears bidding to come out.

“It’s okay, Ally.” She told her reflection in the mirror. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. “You’re gonna be fine. You’ll be all right. Randy’s there, he’ll take care of you. After he graduates from college, he’ll take you with him and you can get out of here…away from everything.”

Her tears broke out then, and she wiped them off swiftly. She had to re-touch her make-up because her mascara had smeared a little under her eyes.

Then she heard the door bell sound, so she grabbed her purse and coat and went downstairs. She composed herself before she opened the door.

“Randy…” She beamed, when she saw him. “Wow, you…you look great in that suit.”

“Thanks…you helped pick it, after all.” He said. “Your parents home?”

“No.” She said, her eyes turning down. “Anyway, let’s go! I’m so excited! Aren’t you?” She stepped o of the door and walked ahead of him.

“Yeah…very.” He sighed, as he watched her walked towards the car.

He thought she looked so beautiful. He looked up at the starry sky and almost wished he could turn back the clock, just so he could have more time with Ally. He only has three weeks now before he leaves.



The whole drive to the prom was more than a little awkward. Randy was trying his best not to seem nervous, but was failing at it. He wouldn’t say more than a word to her when she talks to him, so she just eventually stopped talking.

Ally thought he was acting weird, and couldn’t help but think something was up, in the back of her head.

It didn’t help that he looked really nervous, so a lot of scenarios played in her mind. All around them, she could hear the others talking about going to a hotel, and she knows what happens when they go there.

That’s why she wondered if that was why he was nervous, because he was going to ask her to go. But then she thought about if she would go if he did ask? The thought had crossed her mind on several occasions, and she has considered it.

He has never asked her before, and never crossed his boundaries even though they have been making out a lot lately. She supposed it was the next logical step in their relationship, but it actually made her nervous.

But then, he was too quiet for comfort, and the memories of what happened last year started to creep in inside her head. She told herself she was just being paranoid, and that he wasn’t going to do that again. She knew for sure that he loves her, but she couldn’t help it.

So for a while, not a single word was spoken, although he held her hand the whole time. Probably because he could sense her worries and he wanted to give her a sense of security.

For a time, that was enough, but his silence had always been discomforting for her. She knew he was thinking of something serious when he’s like that.

Finally, she couldn’t keep from asking him any longer.

“Randy, is something wrong?” She asked, touching his arm gently. “You’re awfully quiet…”

Look at her, so concerned about me when she has her own problems at home. He thought to himself. He took her hands and kissed each of them before touching her face.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” He said, “I just have a lot of stuff on my mind…with the graduation coming.”

“Oh…right” She said, relieved. “You haven’t told me anything about that. What are you taking up?”

“Um…you know what? I think we should dance…” He stood up, and put his hand out. “Sitting here is not what we came here for, right?”

“I guess not.” She smiled.

She put her hand on his and he escorted her to the middle of the dance floor. He put her arms on his shoulders, and held her around the waist, and they moved to the sound of the music, just swaying along.

Being that close to him, Ally began to relax. Her doubts and worries dissipating with each gentle stroke of his hand on her back.

She put her head upon his chest and closed her eyes. She felt like there was nothing else that mattered right at that moment—not a care, not a problem so weighty that can ruin it for her.

He was all she needs and would ever need, and if he asks her to go with him anywhere tonight, she wouldn’t think twice, because he’s the one she wants to be with forever.

“I love you.” She whispered, as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I love you so much, Randy.”

“I love you, too.” He answered.

He held her in his arms tighter, like he didn’t want to ever let her go. He prayed to God to let things go smoothly, and give him strength. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he doesn’t want to lose her.

“Ally, I have something important I have to tell you.” He said after taking a deep breath.

“What is it?” She asked.

She looked up at him, the warm lights reflecting on her skin that she almost looked ethereal. He looked into her eyes and they were so mellow that he couldn’t even begin to say what he had to. He felt like his heart was going to break. But it was now or never.

“Let’s go somewhere quiet.” He said.

She nodded and he took her hand and led her out of there, to his car and just sat there for a while. She thought they were going somewhere but when he didn’t start the engine, she got curious.

“Aren’t you gonna drive?” She asked.

“No, why?” He asked, “Do you want to go somewhere?”

“No…I just thought…” She said, embarrassed. “Never mind. So what is it you wanted to tell me?”

“Right…uhm…about college.” He stammered. “I’m not going.”

“You’re not going to college?” She asked, “But…what are you gonna do? I mean, are you gonna just stay here? I thought…”

“I’m joining the Marines.” He said. “I’m leaving this July.”

“This July?” She said, shocked. “Randy that’s three weeks away.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, it just…it slipped my mind.”

“It slipped your mind? How could something this major slip your mind?!” She said, obviously annoyed. “This is like…your future here, our future…if you even thought about it!”

“Of course I have! Why do you think I’m telling you this now?” He said, his voice rising.

“That’s the point, you’re only telling me now!” She said, matching the tone of his voice. “What, did you expect me to be happy about it? Did you actually think three weeks is going to be enough time to prepare myself for this? I mean, how long are you even going to be away?”

Her voice was starting to crack then, because her emotions were just flooding in from everywhere. “Am I just supposed to be grateful that you suddenly decided to drop this on me without even so much as a discussion?!”

“I decided on it before we were even together! There’s nothing to discuss!” He said. His temper was starting to flare up because of her incessant nagging. “And at least I told you and didn’t just leave without so much as a word like your dad always does!”

He didn’t realize what he just said until she became quiet. She just sat there frozen, looking at him like she didn’t know him. He turned to look at her and she turned away but not before he saw her tears flow out of her eyes, which she wiped away swiftly.

“I-I’m sorry…” He said. He tried to hold her hand which was on her lap, but she folded her arms and looked out the window.

“Just take me home, Randy.” She said.

“I didn’t mean…”

“Just drive, please.” She said, “I don’t wanna talk anymore.”


If the drive to the prom was awkward, it was nothing compared to how the drive home was. They didn’t even try to pretend that everything was fine.

Ally never even looked at him, and kept her gaze outside the window, which bothered him to no end. He wanted to say something, to apologize, but he didn’t know what to say and how.

It was a good thing there weren’t many other vehicles on the road as it was already late, because he was very distracted, and his frustration was just building up by the minute.


When they got to her house, he knew he had to do something to try and salvage things. So when she was about to get out of the car, he leaned over and pulled the door shut when she opened it.

“Randy, what the…? Let me out.” She said.

“No! Just…please, just hear me out.” He said.

She didn’t say anything but just sat there with her arms folded across her chest, still looking out the window.

“Ally…I just…I wanted to tell you about me joining the Marines for a while. I just couldn’t find the right time to.” He said.

He had so much he wanted to tell her, to explain, to make her understand that he didn’t want to lose her and that he loves her, but he didn’t know if she’d believe him or not.

“Ally, I know three weeks isn’t nearly enough time to prepare yourself for when I leave…but you have to understand it was hard for me to tell you about it, too. I spent weeks trying to find a way how best I can do it and not have it come to this point where we’re fighting about it. I couldn’t sleep properly, I couldn’t focus on anything I’m doing.” He said, “I didn’t want this…I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She gave him no reaction, and he was even more discouraged. But he was getting desperate and he just wanted to get everything out.

He didn’t even realize how desperate he was, until after a couple of tears rolled down his cheeks. In the corner of her eyes, she saw him wipe his tears away through the side mirror. She wanted to cry herself, but she blinked the tears back.

“I’m sorry. I guess I was hoping you’d tell me you’d wait for me instead. I know that might be too much to ask after all I’ve put you through, but I was hoping maybe you loved me enough to consider it anyway.” He said, rubbing his tears off his eyes. “And I’m sorry about what I said…about your dad. I should have never gone there.”

He waited for what seem like eternity for her to say something back, but she didn’t even make a sound, and he just lost all hope then.

“Can I go now?” She asked, without even looking at him.

He sighed, “Yeah.”

And as quick as that, she got out of the car and went inside her house without as much as even looking back at him. He was left there with the hardest feeling he had ever had to feel in his life. If that wasn’t a break-up, he doesn’t know what a break-up is, and it certainly felt like one.

With his heart broken, he pushed himself to drive home. He supposed he should’ve been ready for it, for any circumstance that would’ve resulted in telling her about his plans. But how could anyone really be ready for a heart break? Could you tell yourself not to love someone as much?

When he got home, his mom was waiting for him. He knows she doesn’t go to bed when one of them was still out and didn’t call. He would’ve wanted to just go to his room and not talk about what happened. But one look at him and his mom knew something was wrong.

“Are you alright, honey?” She asked, concerned.

That was all it took. He dropped his jacket and hugged his mom tightly. He didn’t break into tears, but she knew instantly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, “Let’s go to the kitchen, I’ll make you some coffee.”

“I’d really prefer some beer right now, mom.” He said.

“Not on my watch.” Elaine said.

Back at Ally’s house, her parents still weren’t home. She was sitting, slumped, on the floor behind the door, crying her heart out, all by herself.

She broke down there as soon as she came in, from all the emotions she’d been holding in all this time.

For several minutes, she just sat there thinking about what Randy said to her in the car. It’s just now in her lonesomeness that she started to process everything in her head.

She doesn’t want to lose him. He’s been the only source of her strength recently, especially with what was happening with her parents. The least she could do was to support him in whatever he wants to do, she thought.

She stood up then and went up to her room to clean and fix herself up as much as she can.



Meanwhile, at the Ortons…


Randy told his mother everything that had happened over a cup of coffee. As he did, he realized that he could’ve had done it differently. Perhaps he should’ve eased it up into the conversation whenever they were together, instead of just dropping it on Ally—at the prom nonetheless.

But then he had not thought about it until a couple of weeks ago when it hit him that they were going to have to be separated for a long time. And frankly, for the most part, he just didn’t want to think about it, because he just wanted to make up for lost time with her.

Elaine told him to give Ally some time to think about it, and to sort things out. As a woman, she said, she understands how Ally must have felt. She knew how much they love each other, and she’s positive that they were going to find a way to work it out.

“I hope your right, mom.” Randy said. “I really didn’t want to hurt her this way…”

“I know, honey.” She rubbed his arm, consoling him. “Well, I’m gonna go to bed. You should too. Get some rest.”

“I will in a few. I’ll just…finish this.” He said.

“Alright.” She kissed him on the forehead. “Good night.”

“Hey mom.” He said, when she was about to go out of the kitchen. “Do you really think she’ll understand?”

“If she loves you, she will.” Elaine said, “And I’m pretty sure she does.”

He smiled, tiredly. “Thanks mom.”


He sat there for a few more minutes finished his coffee, and then finally decided to go back to bed. Everyone else was already sleeping so he was being really quiet as he went upstairs.

He was taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt then, as he got to his room so his alertness was pretty much compromised, that’s why he didn’t notice someone standing by his window until he turned the light on in his room.

“Holy sh...!” He said, surprised. But in a split second he realized who it was. “Ally? W-what are you doing here?”

She didn’t say a word and just went and hugged him tightly. She was still wearing her dress, and she looked like she had been crying.

He remembered how she was almost in the same state as she had been last year, and it broke his heart knowing it was because of him again.

“Ally...I’m sorry.” He said. He hugged her back as tight as he could. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“No, no…Shh!” She said, still with her face covered in his chest. “Don’t apologize. I’m sorry. I should’ve been more understanding. I just…I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me.” He said, he pulled back a little so he could look at her and cupped her face. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

She her tears fell then and he kissed her holding her tightly in his arms like he never want to let go. Somehow he managed to sit them both down on the foot of his bed, as he kissed her ever so passionately.

“I love you.” He said, “We’re gonna make this work, okay?”

She nodded, “I love you, too.” She said. “I love you so much, like you don’t even know.”

He smiled, even though his tears were bidding to fall again. “Can’t be more than how much I love you.”

“Are we gonna argue about that too?” She asked, jokingly, amidst her tears.

It was funny how, even though they were both emotional that they managed to laugh at their situation. Suppose they thought that no matter how big the problems are, as long as they were together, that there was nothing they can’t go through.

Such is love for young lovers.

[Annaya]

Chapter 11

“So how long are you going to be away?” She asked.

“Well, the first stage lasts for three months.” He said, “But my plan is to stay for four years…then get out and, maybe try my luck at wrestling. I think it could help me, you know…training, discipline and stuff.”

“F-four years?” She said. Her lips quivered as she did.

She tried to hide it by pursing her lips, but he had already caught it. Besides, he knows how she feels just by the sound of her breathing so she can’t really hide anything to him.

“Are you gonna be able to come home at all in those four years?”

He sighed, and held her hands, “No…No, I can’t.” He said, “I know it’s a too much to ask…so I don’t expect you to…”

“I’ll wait for you.” She said. “I’ll wait for you no matter how long.”

He just felt so happy to hear that from her. “You mean that?”

“Of course I do.” She said, “Just promise me you’ll be faithful, and I’ll do the same.”

“I promise.” He said, “You know I would. You’re the only one for me.”

“And I want you to write to me. Everyday.” She said, “I don’t care if I can barely read your hand writing, but you will write to me.”

He laughed, “I will, I’ll write to you every day. Twice a day if you want.” He smoothed her hair, “But you have to do the same, I want you to tell me everything that happens to you no matter how small or trivial, I want to know everything. Okay?”

“Okay.” She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder. “I will.”

For several seconds they were silent, just taking the moment in.

“Are you really going to wait for me?” He asked.

She looked at him, and cupped his face. “Well, I already waited years for you to notice me…” Then she pinched his cheeks. “What’s four more years?”

“Ow!” He took her hands off his. “Come on, we have to be quiet or they’ll hear us and know you’re here.”

“Sorry.”

“How did you get up here, anyway?” He asked.

“I came in through the window.” She said, “There's a ladder outside.”

He laughed a little, “Well come on, I’ll walk you home.” He stood up, taking her hand but she didn’t budge.

“No.” She said, pulling her hand back. “I-I don’t wanna go home…Can’t I just stay here with you?”

“But your parents are gonna be looking for you.” Randy said.

“They’re not home.” She stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist, and her head on his chest. “I don’t want to be alone…Please, Randy, just tonight?”

She looked up at him with pleading eyes, and as reluctant as he was he just couldn’t say no.

“Alright, you can stay here.” He said, rubbing her arms and shoulder to soothe her. “But first thing in the morning, you have to go home. Okay?”

She simply nodded. She asked him if she could clean up a little, and he sneaked her around the house to the bathroom. While she was there, he changed into a wife-beater and a pair of boxer shorts, and looked for something she could change into as well, like a t-shirt and a pair of pajamas.

He was going to bring it to her to the bathroom, but she came back before he got there.

“I could go back…”

“No, no…just…come in.” He said, letting her back in the room. “Just change here…I’ll just…turn around.”

She took the clothes and went to the far side of the room to change. She could sense his hesitation and it kind of made her upset a little.

What was he so hesitant about? It’s like he didn’t want her to be there, much less spend the night.

She looked at him with his back on her, sitting on the bed, and then she realized perhaps it’s not because he didn’t want her to stay there, but he was nervous about what might happen if she does. And she knew exactly what he was thinking.

They have been in a relationship for a while, but he has never taken it farther than a torrid make-out session.

She had thought about it several times before too, but in reality she was scared, being as she has no experience. She knew he had done it before with his former girlfriend, so she wondered why he has never asked her.

But now that she was there in his room, with the circumstances surrounding her presence there, with him leaving to join the Marines in three weeks and all, the idea just popped into her head.

She doesn’t know what’s come over her but the desire was so strong, that it was like there was some kind of force pulling her towards him. She wanted to know how it would feel like to make love. She wanted him, and she wanted him bad.

Her next actions almost seem like she was being controlled by an outside force, because she was doing things she wouldn’t normally do.

She already had the pajama on before she took her dress off, so she took them off again. She walked towards him, on the bed in her underwear, as quietly as she could.


Normally, his senses are really good and he would have felt her coming up behind him. But he was caught up with the thought of her spending the night over, lying on his bed, beside him.

He has had thoughts of it before, but again, she is just fifteen and he knows it’s illegal. Besides, he promised her he was going to be patient.

When she was just a foot away, there was a moment of hesitation on her part, but she crossed that bridge decidedly.

“Randy…” She whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, you’re done…” He stood up, and turned to her.

His voice trailed off along with his thoughts as his eyes behold what was in front of him. She doesn’t like to wear tight outfits to show off her curves although he knew they were there because he could feel them, but he never knew she had developed as well as she has.


“A-Ally…what…” He started to say.

“Shh! Don’t speak…” She whispered, as she moved in.

She kissed him, softly at first, just like the way he always does when its him who initiates it. For a several seconds he did not respond. He just stood there, with his eyes closed.

In his mind he was debating, arguing with himself whether to fight his desire to succumb to her advances on not.

She stopped to look at him for a second, wondering why he wasn’t responding. He opened his eyes then, feeling the separation, and looked at her.

She had this questioning look in her eyes, like she doubted him, and he couldn’t take that. He tried to speak, to tell her she’s wrong but nothing was coming out.

Feeling rejected and embarrassed, she stepped back away from him. But then, suddenly, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back towards him, and kissed her.

He kissed her, hard and without any inhibition that it caught her by surprise, as if she was caught in a wave. Gradually he relented, until there was separation from her lips again.

He looked at her, his breathing, heavy, and his eyes, dark with the desire that he’s struggling to keep under control. They burn through her, to her very core, fueling her own desires—and it was so undeniable that he could almost taste it.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his voice low and humming.

She didn’t speak. She took his hands off her arm and shoulder and slipped them lower, slowly, to the curve of her waist.

He could feel little goose bumps form on her bare skin under his hands. She ran her hands up his arms, to his shoulders, to the nape of his neck, her fingers gently caressing him, sending shivers down his spine.

She moved closer, pulling herself into his arms until there was no more space between them, her bosom pressing against his chest, even more so as she breathes.

He could barely hold on to that single string of restraint that’s keeping him still. She kissed him again, softly, first on his lips, then traversing lower, down to where she could feel his pulse on her lips, and then up again to the base of his ear.

“I am.” She whispered.

And with those two words, he let go. He let go of all his inhibitions, all his worries, and all his reasons. He pulled her closer to him, and kissed her, more passionately and thoroughly than before, that she had no choice but let escape little gasps from her mouth at the slightest space he allows.

She was so lost in the storm of sensations she was feeling around her, all over, inside her, to her very core, that she didn’t even realize that he had already taken her down on the bed, and managed to take her bra off until she felt the cold draft, when he let go for a second as he took his shirt off.

He leaned down on her, and kissed her again, exploring her body with his hands that seared her flesh wherever he touched, making her move almost involuntarily. She had to bite her lips to stop herself from making loud noises, but he could still hear her, humming inside.

Then he stopped, propping his elbows on either side of her. He looked deep into her eyes, looking for permission to go further. She didn’t say anything but she put her hands on his back and pulled him down towards her, leaving no space in between them.

And so he did what he’d been waiting for to do.

She almost whimpered too loud if he had not pressed his lips against hers as she did. The sensations she was having were out of this world.

She had never experienced such pleasurable pain. It was like she was being burned with the hottest fires of hell, yet lifted in the highest heavens.

And he took her there over and over, until they were both consumed in the waves of love and desire that enveloped them both.

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After the waves had subsided, they remained still and silent on the bed, holding each other as if they were melded together. Their sensibilities still on high, but their bodies exhausted. He held her in his arms still, his cheek on her head which was resting snuggly at the curve of his neck and shoulder.

He could feel her breath blowing on the bare skin of his chest. His chest, where his heart was still beating loudly in a steady rhythm, in tune with hers.

He kissed her softly on the forehead, as he caressed her arm gently. She stirred and snuggled up to him even more, wrapping her arm around his chest, and a leg over and between his legs.

“Is it morning yet?” She asked him, sleepily.

“No, not yet.” He said, “Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up when its time.”

“Okay.” She said, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

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The following morning…


There was an urgent knocking at Randy’s door. He had fallen so deep in sleep because he was so tired, that he didn’t hear when his alarm clock buzzed.

Besides, he was so comfortable having Ally in his arms as he was sleeping, he probably didn’t want to get up anyway.

But the knocking was almost frantic, and it woke him up. He blinked for a couple of seconds before he realized the sun was way up.

He turned to his bedside table to see what time it was and he almost jumped out of the bed when he saw it was past ten already, if Ally didn’t had her head over his arm.

He carefully slipped out from under her head and quietly stood up and managed to put his boxers back on, before putting the blanket over Ally. By then, the knocking was louder so he hurriedly opened the door.

“Mom!” He said, nervously, trying to not let her look inside his room as he slipped out the door. “Hey, what’s up?”

It did not escape Elaine though, that he was acting unusual. “Good morning to you, too.” She said, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…I just…” He tried to think of something, but came up with none. “So…umm, why were you knocking?”

“Right! Well, your Ally’s parents called and they said she’s missing.” Elaine said, “They thought she might be here, but I told them you drove her home from the prom and came home alone so she couldn’t possibly be here.”

“Oh…”

“Where could she be?” She asked, worriedly. “They’re both worried after I told them. I didn’t tell them you two had a fight though. Do you think she ran away because of that?”

“No…she didn’t.” He said.

“Well, get dressed, I told them we’re going to help looking for her.” She said, “Go on, boy, hurry.”

She was ushering him towards his door, but he was protesting. “No, mom…wait…”

“What? Don’t you want to help look for her?” She said, “Randy, just because you had a fight…”

“No, mom, of course I’d help if she was missing.” He said.

“She is missing.”

“No, she’s not.” He sighed. “Just…promise you won’t yell.”

“What’s going on?” Elaine asked, suspiciously.

Randy opened the door carefully and stepped aside so his mom could see inside. There she saw Ally, lying on her side with her back towards them, still sleeping peacefully.

She had the blanket covering half of her, but enough for Elaine to know she was naked underneath.

“Oh, my god, Randy…” Elaine said, covering her mouth in shock. “What…? How…?”

“I just found her here last night.” He explained, “She…climbed up the window.”

“But you didn’t…Did you?” She asked, wide-eyed at the question she was asking and the scenario that could’ve played right there.

“We did.” Randy said.

“Randy!?”

“We love each other, mom.” He said. In his mind he did not need any more explanation, so that’s all he said, “We love each other.”

Even though she knew it was wrong, and it could get both of them in trouble, Randy especially, she understood. She knows it’s true, what Randy said.

They do love each other, and perhaps it was bound to happen. She just wished it didn’t happen so soon. But it was too late now, and there’s nothing she can do.

“All right, well, you better wake her up.” She said, “I’ll take her back to her parents.”

“No.” He said, “I’ll do it.”

“But, honey…”

“I got to do it, mom.” He said, “I have to be a man and face this head on. She needs me to be that man.”

When he said that, Elaine felt proud of him. Her precious little boy has grown up, and she knew he was going to be alright.

“Okay, Randy.” She touched his face, “If you really want to do it your way, I won’t stop you anymore. I’m proud of you for taking responsibility.”

After she left, Randy locked the door and sat on the bed beside Ally. He brushed the lose strands of her hair, tucking them carefully behind her ear. She stirred when she felt his warm hands touching her face, and opened her eyes.

“Hmm…good morning.” She said, turning to him.

He smiled, “Good morning.” He said, “You should get dressed, it’s already past ten.”

While they were getting dressed, Randy told her that her parents were looking for her. He told her they didn’t know she was there yet, but he said if he were to take her home, then they are going to ask questions—which made her worry, that she couldn’t speak thinking of excuses to tell her parents.

Randy was also in deep thought and almost didn’t notice her go to the window to go down. He jumped when he saw her.

“Hey, where you going?” He asked as he stood up.

“Going down…?”

“You don’t need to go down there.” He said, “My mom already knows you’re here.”

“What? …How?” She asked.

He told her everything that happened, from when her parents called looking for her, to her mom seeing her on his bed. He told her his mom was cool with it, but Ally wasn’t so sure her parents would feel the same way, especially her dad.

“My dad’s a lawyer, Randy.” She said, “If there’s anything he knows, it’s that what we are—especially what we did is illegal. We can’t let them know.”

“They had to have known it was going to happen sooner or later.” He said.

“Yes, but later…not sooner, and definitely not now.” She said, as she sat on the bed next to him. “I just don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Ally, I’ve been in trouble way before this happened.” He said, “I just want to take responsibility. I want to let your parents, especially your dad, to know that I have nothing but good intentions for you.”

“I know that.” She said, “I just…I’m just scared of what he could do to us…to you.”

“Ally, I’m going to face whatever your dad throws at me head on.” He took her hands into his. “I love you. Trust me, okay?”

“I trust you.” She said.

He looked so adamant about what he was saying that she knew she can’t do anything to persuade him otherwise. But she was also sure that her dad wasn’t going to take it very well.

They went downstairs together and pretty much surprised everybody, except for Elaine.

[Annaya]

Chapter 12

They walked to Ally’s house hand in hand, and as they approached the front door, she grabbed on to Randy’s arm and clutched it tightly. He squeezed her hand, knowing what it meant. He rang the bell and waited for someone to open it.

“It’s gonna be fine.” He said, placing his hands on her shoulders, assuring her.

“I hope so.” She said.

“Ally!” Alice said when she opened the door and saw her. “Oh my God!” She hugged Ally, “We were looking all over for you, we’ve even called the cops but they said it hasn’t been twenty-four hours yet…”

“I’m sorry, mom…I just…” Ally started to say.

But before she could say anything else, her dad suddenly appeared and lunged at Randy, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pinning him to the door.

The fact that Randy’s mom told them that she wasn’t at their house made him think that he took her somewhere else and did something he wouldn’t have approved of.

Other than what was clearly visible from the two’s body language when he saw them outside through the window upstairs.

For a split second, Randy wasn’t able to react, but Ally was right there and she tried to pull Henry off of him.

“Dad! Dad! What are you doing?!” She yelled, “Stop it! Don’t hurt him! Let go of him!”

“You son of a b**ch!” Henry said, still clutching at Randy’s shirt as Alice tried to pull him away. “Where did you take her?! What’d you do to my daughter!?”

“Henry, calm down! Please!” Alice pleaded.

Ally stepped in front of Randy, crying, trying to loosen her father’s grip.

“Let him, Ally!” Randy said. “Let him take it out on me. I’d rather he hurt me than you!”

He tried to push Ally aside but she grabbed on to him, wrapping her arms around him, and subsequently putting herself in the way of whatever Henry can do.

“No! Please, Randy, don’t make him any angrier.” She said, “Just let me handle this, please.”

“But Ally…”

“Please…” She pleaded.

He didn’t want to agree, but he had no choice.

“Get out of the way, Ally!” Henry yelled, “I’m gonna kill him!”

“Dad, just stop it!” She screamed. “You have no right to hurt him! He didn’t do anything wrong! It was me, I sneaked up in his room and begged him to let me stay the night.” She said, crying.

“I didn’t want to be alone. You guys are never home, and I needed someone to be there with me. You don’t even know what’s going on in my life right now because you’re always gone.”

“He’s the only one I have, the only person I can depend on who cares about me, and he’s going to leave to join the Marines, and I can’t even talk to either of you about it.” She said, trying her hardest to control her emotion, but failing badly.

“That’s why I went to him. We didn’t do anything, dad. He slept on the floor and let me use his bed. Nothing happened.”

She glanced at Randy who looked puzzled, confused and disapproving of her lie, but kept quiet anyway. Alice saw the looks exchanged between the two and realized what it meant, but didn’t say a word either.

For several seconds, the four of them just stood there silently. Then Henry just went upstairs without saying a word. And Ally felt let down again.

Alice was going to hug her, but she turned to Randy instead, and he held her.

He led her to the couch and they sat down, and he comforted her until she stopped crying. Alice just sat there, watching them, feeling helpless. She wished she could change things, do it differently, so she could’ve been there for Ally.

“I’ll take it from here, Randy.” She said, “Thank you.”

Randy was about to stand up, but Ally wouldn’t let him. “No, don’t leave me.” She said.

“Al, it’s okay.” He said, reassuringly, rubbing her arms and shoulders. “It’s your mom. It’s gonna be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

She nodded reluctantly, and let go of him. Alice walked Randy to the front door.

“Randy.” She said, before he could get out. “Is it true? You’re joining the Marines?”

“Yes ma’am.” He said. “I’m leaving this July.”

“How did Ally…take it?” She asked.

“Not good at first. I almost wished I didn’t have to go.” He said, sighing as he lowered his head.

When he looked up again, his expression changed into a somewhat calm intensity. “But she’s stronger than you think. We’re going to make it work. I want you to know that I have nothing but good intentions for Ally. We love each other, and I will come back for her. I promise you that. You may not think so now, but I’m going to prove to you and to Mr. Carson that I’m worthy of your daughter.” He took a deep breath to relieve his chest of its heaviness.

“I would just like to ask you a favor. Please, take care of her while I’m gone. She’s going to need you both more than ever. I’m not telling you what to do, but I hope that for her sake, you and your husband can fix whatever is going on in your relationship. Because believe it or not, it’s affecting her, more than you know.”

Alice was just caught with his honesty. She’d never have expected this boy she’d known almost all his life would talk to her like that.

But in that moment, that single moment, Randy had earned her respect. She knew in her mother’s heart that he meant everything he said, and that her daughter would be in good hands with this boy—with this young man—this young man, who is showing his integrity, and strength of character.

She nodded quietly. “Thank you.”

“Have a good day, ma’am.” He said.

After Randy left, Alice and Ally went to her room and they talked. Alice apologized to her daughter for being remiss of her responsibilities and obligations to her. She promised to be there for her more.

Ally asked her what was going on with her and her dad, but she did not tell her still, except that whatever it was, that it was over. She promised to try and work things out with her dad, though.

That night, Henry came to her room and talked to Ally. He confessed that he and her mother has a misunderstanding through his own fault, because he was weak in the face of temptation, but that it was a one-time thing.

He apologized for not being around, not because he did not love them anymore, but because he was ashamed to face them—to look at them.

She forgave him, but made him promise to fix everything between himself and her mom. She also asked that he be nicer to Randy. She told him how much she loves Randy, and that he means a lot to her and he needed to respect that.

Henry actually heard everything that Randy said to Alice on his way out, and he told her that and said he supports them.

He still didn’t approve of any physicality, but Ally didn’t tell them about that.

------------------------------------------------------

July 1998 – Evening before departure


I'm blessed the day I found you
I want to stay around you
And so I beg you
Let it be me


Randy and Ally went for a drive that afternoon, because they wanted to spend the day together, just the two of them. They ended up parking on a hill over-looking the city, just a little off the highway.

They just sat there on trunk of the car, talking about stuff and skipping stones on the pond. They laughed and teased each other, remembering stories from their childhood.

They talked about the first time they met, how he literally crashed into her. They talked about all those times how he would tease her, how she’d cry a lot because of him. And then suddenly she just became quiet.

She leaned back on the dash shield and stared at the sky. It was already getting dark and a few stars were starting to come out. He didn’t know what to say or if he even should say something, so he just sat back beside her, and held her hand close to his heart. But he couldn’t just keep quiet for long.

“What are you thinking?” He asked.

“Nothing…” She whispered, as she put her head on his shoulder. “I just want to spend as much time as I can with you right now…”

“You’re still gonna see me tomorrow before I leave.” He said. “You…are coming…right?”

“I...kind of don’t want to.” She said.

“Why not?” He sat up.

He looked at her and he understood why she didn’t want to go and see him off. It’s just going to be too much for her.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I just…”

“Shh…you don’t have to explain.” He said, wrapping his arms around her. “I understand.”

They just stayed like that until it was time for them to go home. Somehow, in the silence, their hearts spoke of their great love to each other.



Don't take this heaven from one
If you must cling to someone
Now and forever
Let it be me

----------------------------------------------------------

Day of departure…



Randy and his family were at the bus station then. The bus that was going to take him to the boot camp along with the other recruits were about to leave in fifteen minutes. He was nervous and excited at the same time for this new ‘adventure’ that his life was about to take.

He was ready for anything that was going to happen. He just wished Ally was there too. She told him the other day that she wasn’t going to see him off, and he told her that he understands.

Still, he wanted to see her for the last time before he leaves. He wanted to hold her, and kiss her, to remember her scent and the touch of her skin. He wanted those to be the last memory in his mind before he leaves because he wasn’t going to see her for a while.

“Well, son, this is it.” Bob said, “No turning back now.”

“No, sir, I guess not.” He said.

Bob suddenly hugged him. He hasn’t done that in a while, that’s why he was a little surprised.

“Good luck, son.” Bob said, “Be good.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“Right…So, I’m just gonna wait in the car.” Bob said. “You say your good bye to your mom.”

“Never seen him like that before.” Randy said when Bob was out of earshot. “It’s kind of disturbing.” He joked.

“Oh, he’s just a little emotional!” Elaine said, “He probably couldn’t believe you’re going to be on your own now. You’re always going to be our first baby boy.” She pinched his cheek, and hugged him afterward.

“Aww mom, I’m not a baby anymore.” He said, as he hugged her back. “Hey, Nathan…you take care of mom, okay? Don’t be such a hard head.”

“Pssh! You’re the hard head!” Nate said. “But yeah, I’ll take care of mom…I’ll even take care of your girlfriend!”

“Why you little…!”

He was going to go after Nate, but he ran to the car already and his mom stopped him. “You just said you weren’t a baby anymore.” She laughed.

“I was just playing.” He said, laughing.

“Where is Ally anyway?” Elaine asked, “I’d think she’d wanna see you off.”

His smile changed from playful to a resigned contentment. “She didn’t want to come.” He said, with a sigh. “She said she’d just feel too sad to see me leaving.”

That’s when somebody announced on the megaphone for them to get on the bus because they’re leaving in ten minutes. Elaine, Becky and Nate gave him a hug then before they went to the car. Randy then went and loaded his baggage at the bus’ side compartment.

The other guys have started to get on the bus then, and he was about to get on himself, when he heard a car screeching to a halt, which caught everyone’s attention.

He was delightfully surprised when he saw who came out of the passenger seat. It was Ally, and he thought she looked so pretty in her light yellow summer dress, as she looked around frantically for him.

He left his line and came towards her. Her face lit up when she saw him and walked briskly towards him. She hugged him tightly when she got to him.


Cause each time we meet, love
I find complete love
Without your sweet love
What would life be?



“I thought you weren’t gonna come?” Randy asked, holding her as tightly. “What changed your mind?”

“I thought…it hurt all the same, so why don’t I just go and see you?”

They just held each other for a minute, his arms around her waist and her arms around his shoulders. They didn’t care if everyone—strangers, were looking at them.

In the car, Randy’s family was looking on, and his mom couldn’t help but tear up. Ally’s mom who was in her car was also tearing up at the scene in front of her.

“Damn…you’re making it really hard for me to get on that bus.” Randy whispered in her ear, “You look so beautiful in that dress.”

“But you’re not gonna stay anyway.” She said, pulling away a little to look at him.

“Ally, we’ve talked about this…” He said, as he brushed stray hairs off her face.

“I know…” She said, “I’m not trying to stop you… I understand you need to do this…for yourself.”

“For us.” He said, “Don’t forget that.”

She nodded. “I won’t.” She said, “You just…don’t forget your promises.”

He laughed, “I won’t. I’ll write to you everyday even if you can barely read my handwriting.”

“Good.” She said, in mock sternness. “Now, get on that bus before I change my mind and not let you go.”

He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her then, and she kissed him back as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, standing on her toes almost because he was already lifting her up a bit.

They kissed and held each other as if they will never let go. But they did anyway, because he had to leave. With heavy steps and a heavier heart, he got on the bus not looking back until he was firmly on his seat.

He didn’t even dare look at her again until the bus began shuttling. When he did, he saw Alice and Elaine beside Ally, perhaps feeling the need to console her, but she wasn’t crying anymore.

She waved good bye at him, with that longing but resolute look in her eyes that tells him she will be strong for him, and he knew she would be alright.

“Was that your girlfriend, dude?” His seatmate asked.

“Yeah.” He said, “She is.”

“Must be hard leaving her, huh?”

“You have no idea.” He sighed, as the bus sped up.



So never leave me lonely
Tell you love me only
And that you'll always
Let it be me

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Days went by slowly for Randy at boot camp. It wasn’t quite as he expected. His recruiter had told him basically that he’d be learning all about weapons all day, and would have plenty of time to hit the gym. But the days went longer than expected and then they were supposed to turn in early in the night.

He did enjoy the activities and training he got from it. He was very interested in learning about weapons and stuff, as well as the physicality of it.

But when lights-out came, and he’s staring at the ceiling of the room he shares with nineteen other men, he thinks of Ally and how much he misses her.

He kept his promise to her, and wrote to her every day. He tells her everything, even though she might not get what he means when he gets technical, like the specifications of the guns.

He was the squad leader, one of the four in his platoon, and he was assigned as a rifleman. He had always been the head of the wolf-pack type of guy so he enjoyed his role.

They also talk on the phone on rare occasions, but those were not nearly enough. There was one thing he didn’t tell her though, and that’s his weekend trips to Tijuana with the other guys. He didn’t think Ally would be happy to hear from him about that, and he would be right.

Ally, on the other hand, spent summer learning a new hobby—photography. Her dad bought her a professional camera when he saw her interest in taking photos with the small one she had.

She was good at it, she always had been artistically inclined so she had the eye for taking good pictures.

She likes to attach pictures of places, things and people, as well as herself, in her letters to Randy which he enjoys. It was like he was right there with her, since he could see things and meet people she does, but not really. When he gets pictures of her, he would show it off to the other guys.

Her dad had even transformed their basement into a dark room just so she could process her pictures herself. But that didn’t make up for the fact that he was still almost always gone.

She supposed he was making up for it, by giving her things, but she would still rather have her dad—her family. That part she didn’t write to Randy though.

And then it was October. Randy was going to graduate out of boot camp in the first week of the month, and Ally wanted to go with his family to see him. At first, Henry didn’t allow her to go, but with Alice’s help and Elaine’s assurance that she’d look after her, he relented.

She wanted to surprise Randy though, so she asked his family not to tell him that she was coming with them. School had already started so he was very surprised and very happy that she came. He introduced a couple of his friends to Ally, and they teased him a bit because they have never seen him smile as much.

After the graduation ceremony, they got to hang out together with his family for the rest of the day. They were going to leave the next day, so before the night was over he stole Ally away after they’ve settled at their hotel, to spend some time alone with her.

He took her by the bay, and just watched the Sunset and took pictures with her camera. He didn’t realize how much he actually missed her until it was time for him to go back to camp and took her back to the motel where his parents were staying.

After boot camp, Randy went to School of Infantry where he learned a lot about weapons and how to use them, as well as different kinds of field tactics, but most of all, he learned a lot about discipline. He grew an affinity to big and high powered guns because of it.

He enjoyed that a lot although he felt he was learning a lot of stuff he didn’t really need to get to his main goal of being a pro-wrestler, but he didn’t mind it much.

After attending School of Infantry, he got his first order to report to Camp Horno. It was like boot camp all over again, but worse.

And that’s where it all changed for him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

[Annaya]

Chapter 13

February 1999, Camp Horno, Pendleton, CA


“I know, I’m sorry.” Randy said over the phone.

He had just had time that Sunday to actually make a phone call and he decided to call Ally, because he hasn’t spoken nor written a letter to her in almost a month.

“We were in the field for twenty-eight days.” He said, “I could barely think about anything else.”

“Randy, I didn’t say anything.” Ally said, “I understand. I just said I miss you because I haven’t heard from you in a while, that’s all.”

“I miss you too.” He sighed.

There was something with the way he was talking—breathing, that made her worry about him. He didn’t sound lively at all, it’s like he had something in his mind more than what he was saying.

“Are you okay?” Ally asked. “Is there something bothering you?”

“I’m fine.” He said.

“Are you going to start keeping things from me now?” She asked, “Randy…we’re already far from each other, don’t start being like this now, please?”

He took a moment to think about whether to tell her or not and gather his thoughts, then finally he did.

“I just…I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing staying here.” He said, “It’s not at all what I expected.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just don’t think it’s helping me, what we’re doing here.” He said, “You know my plans…Ally, I just…I think I made a wrong decision coming here. I mean, it was great up until now…but I don’t see how this is going to help me get to where I want.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know yet.” He sighed. “But I have to do something.”

“Well, whatever you do, you know I’ll support you.” She said.

“I know.” He said. Some guy gave him a signal that his time on the phone was up. “I gotta go. Tell my parents said I’m okay…I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

February 13, 1999 6:30 PM


Ally was at school, because the photography class was having their fund raiser, a photo exhibit, at the gym that evening.

The theme was of course about Valentines, and several of her pictures were on display and for sale. She got a lot of praises for her pictures because they seem to really tell a story.

They had even had a guest, a famous Italian professional photographer, which was a friend of their principal. He’s worked on different stuff’s like fashion photography, landscape, magazine spreads and teaches photography at a college in Rome, so Ally was really honored when he said that he thinks she was a natural, that she had an eye for taking beautiful pictures. He even gave her his contacts for if she ever decides to pursue a career in photography.

But that wasn’t the highlight of her night. That came when the exhibit was about to close for the evening. The exhibit was going to close by ten in the evening, and she was getting hungry, so she decided to take a break and get something to eat.

She was walking alone, minding her business, when all of a sudden somebody grabbed her from behind around the waist. She was going to scream but the man covered her mouth.

“Shh! Shh! It’s me, Ally.” Randy said, laughing. “It’s Randy.”

She stopped struggling and looked at him, albeit with angry eyes, so he took his hand off her mouth.

“Let me go!” She said, and he did as soon as she did. “That wasn’t nice! You scared the hell out of me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He said, “I just wanted to surprise you, you were walking so fast…”

“Just shut up and kiss me already.” She suddenly said.

It caught him a little off guard, coming from her. She was never that demanding, but he kind of liked it. So he did as he was told and kissed her.

He slipped his arms around her waist and held her there tightly, as she put her arms around his shoulders. They didn’t even mind if anyone passing by sees them.

They just kissed with all the passion that has built up from all the time they’ve spent apart.

After a few minutes, they decided to head to a nearby diner because she still has to come back to the exhibit.


“When did you arrive? How did you get here? How did you know where I was?” She asked as they were walking arm in arm on the sidewalk.

“Slow down!” He laughed, “We have a lot of time to talk. Well, I just got here and you’re the first person I went to see.”

“You haven’t been home?”

“Nope, I hopped on a Greyhound from Oceanside straight to you.” He said, “I was going to come home because I thought you’d be there but I saw an announcement for the exhibit and remembered you said something about it so I decided to come here first. I wanted to surprise you.”

“You’re the most amazing boyfriend in the world, you know that?” She said, hugging him. “So how long did they give you to stay here?”

“Ummm…I didn’t get permission to leave.” He said, “I kinda went AWOL.”

“What?! Why?” She asked, shocked. “Aren’t you going to get in trouble for that?”

“Well, I am…definitely going to get in a lot of trouble.” He said, “Let’s talk over dinner.”


While they were eating, Randy told Ally what he has decided to do. Like he told her the last time they talked over the phone, he just didn’t see how staying there and learning all about the stuff he didn’t need was going to help him pursue his dream of becoming a wrestler like his dad.

He doesn’t know yet what he’s going to do to get there, but he was not going to go back to camp. He just wasn't about to waste another couple of years doing something that his heart wasn’t into.

Of course he asked Ally what she thought about it, and he was happy that she said he has her support in whatever he decides to do.

“So, how are you? Photography huh?” He said, “Are you going to pursue that after high school?”

“I don’t know…” She said, “But there’s this Italian guy…” She took the calling card out of her pocket. “Jean Luc Salvatorre, he’s a famous photographer…apparently. I’ve never heard of him. But he said that I have a natural aptitude for photography.”

“You do.” He said, “Who’d have thought the place could look so pretty? You make St. Louis look so picturesque in those photos you send to me? They’re beautiful…you know, especially the ones that has you in it.”

“Silly!” She laughed.

He laughed, “No, but really, they’re good. You have the talent to see the beauty in everything. It’s a gift.” He said, “You should cultivate it.”

“I’ll think about it.” She said.

“So…how are things going with your parents?” He asked, “You never mention them in your letters.”

“Umm…they’re alright.” She said, looking away. “There’s really not much to say.”

Even though she didn’t say much he understood what she meant. Her eyes became all quiet and he knew.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He said, holding her hands.

She looked at him, and he had the most caring look in his eyes that she felt she could tell him everything, if only to relieve herself of all the burden the situation has put on her. She just never really talked about that issue with anyone, not even her other friends.

“They’re trying.” She said, after a while. “At least there’s that. They’re talking…they’re just…not sleeping in the same room anymore.”

“They’ll work it out.” Randy said, “It’s gonna be fine. You’ll be fine.”

She looked at him, “Yeah, I am.” She said, “You’re here now, that’s good enough for me.”

After dinner, they went back to the exhibit and she showed him her pictures. Several of their schoolmates were surprised to see Randy there, especially their principal, since they all knew he was supposed to be in training with the Marines.

Ally’s mom came to pick her up after the exhibit and she was also surprised that Randy was with her. They explained to her what Randy was doing there.

She asked what his plans were and he couldn’t really give a precise answer, but that he’ll look for a job for the meantime while he figures things out.

That would’ve been good enough for Alice, but not for Henry. He saw Randy when they arrived and asked them what he was doing there.

After Alice told them what Randy said, he wasn’t too happy that he hasn’t got a definite plan. But Ally defended him saying if anyone can figure it out, it’ll be Randy.

She got the whole lecture about life and about relationships for her effort. She was so tempted to say that it was already too late for the sex talk, but she didn’t want to get in hot water with her dad than she and Randy already were.


It didn’t stop them from going out the next day to celebrate Valentine’s together though. They spent the whole day together, riding around in his car, stopping at places she wanted to take pictures of. But they also took pictures of themselves.

They were parked at that same hill they stopped at the night before he left for the Marines. It was out of the way, so there weren’t any passer bys at all.

The city’s skyline was so beautiful that night because there were colorful light in almost all the buildings, since it was Valentines.

It was already dark, but she didn’t want to go home yet so they went there. The stars were very visible in the night sky and she’d have loved to stay out and take pictures if it wasn’t so cold. So they just sat there inside his car.

“What are you gonna do with all these pictures?” He asked.

“Nothing…I just like looking at them. Don’t you?” She said, almost melancholically. “It’s like taking that one special moment in your life and putting it in a picture, so you can look at it and remember how you felt at that time.”

“I like it better when it’s a picture of you.” He said.

“Oh, yeah?!” She said, “How do you feel when you look at pictures of me?”

“I…can’t really say.” He smiled, naughtily. “It’s Rated-R, and you’re not eighteen yet.”

She widened her eyes and dropped her jaw comically in mock horror. “How dare you have dirty thoughts about a minor!? You bad, bad man!”

He became serious then, “Yeah…I think I should just get you home now before I get in any more trouble.” He said, “How old are you again? Fifteen?”

She pouted, “I’m sixteen! I can legally get married with my parent’s permission now, okay!”

He suddenly burst out laughing, “You’re so serious! Come here…” He said, pulling her closer. “Come on, you know I’m just kidding.”

She scooted closer to him, but still had her arms crossed over her chest and that cute little frown on her face. He wrapped his arms around her and snuggling up to her, in an attempt to appease her.

“Ally, come on…huh?” Randy whispered in a low rumbling voice, brushing the tip of his nose on the back of her ear. “Forgive me now, please?”

She looked at him sharply, and he gave her the old puppy dog eyes. He knew she couldn’t resist that, and he was right. Her eyes lost the sharpness and there was a tiny smile forming at the corner of her lips, which she tried to restrain.

He flashed his smile, “You forgive me, right?” He asked, but she won’t answer. So he poked her again, and started to tickle her. “Right? Right?”

“Stop it!” She said, trying to wriggle her way away from him, laughing. “Stop it! Randy!”

“Say you forgive me first!” He said.

She was wriggling so much but he wasn’t letting go and somehow he ended up on top of her. She was still giggling as he was staring at her face, studying every curve of her delicate features—her smooth clear skin, her cheeks tainted with soft natural blush, and her soft, succulent pink lips.

“Okay! Time out! Time out!” She said, still laughing, until she noticed him. He was staring at her so lovingly, it almost made her uncomfortable. “Something wrong?”

“No…nothing’s wrong.” He said, “Everything is right.”

She smiled and touched his face gently, outlining his features. He closed his eyes, feeling her soft touch. He couldn’t even remember the last time he felt that.

When he was still at camp he used to dream about it. He sat up and allowed her to move. For a few moments, they just sat there quietly. He listened to her breath, as she listened to his heart with her head on his chest and his arms around her.

“Have I told you how much I missed you yet since I came home?” He whispered, kissing her on the forehead.

“Hmm…no, you haven’t.” She sat up and looked at him. “But you can show me.”

There was something in her eyes that told him what she means, and try as he may to fight the urge; he knows it’s what he wanted too. He’d waited months to be with her again, and he could barely believe he held out until now since he came home. So why deny it?

He kissed her passionately and she responded with the same intensity. She’s missed him as much, and she wasn’t going to hide that fact. Things started to become too hot too fast, and they could barely keep control of themselves and gave in to their desires.

Without another word said, they made love underneath the stars and above the city lights, on top of that dead end hill. It was like they were the only two people in the world, and there was nothing and no one else that mattered.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next couple of weeks weren’t very easy for either of them. Randy started working at a gas station, something he wasn’t exactly happy about but it was the only job he could get on short notice.

He wasn’t planning on keeping that job for long of course, it was just something to do and make money as well. He wasn’t going to just bum around, especially with Ally’s dad always going on about how he should think about the future or how he has become a deserter for leaving the Marines like he did.

But through it all, Ally was always there right behind him. She was like his own personal pep squad and support system, especially when he’s losing hope disheartened about his plans and with everything else. She’s like his ever burning beacon of hope.

She was very patient too. She didn’t mind at all if they never went out to the movies or do anything that requires money. She was content with just hanging out at the park, or at that hill they always go to, or just driving around the countryside, just spending time with him. He gets free gas at the station he works at anyway.



_{(Please play! "She Is Love" - Parachute)}


He’d been home for almost three months then that May, when he finally made up his mind about something. Ally went to see him during his break from work.

She figured she needed to check up on him because of the way that her father had shot him down—indirectly, the day before.

“Hey.” She said, unsure of what his mood will be.

“Hey…what are you doing here?” He asked, “Aren’t you supposed to be at school?”

“I’m not in the mood to attend photography class…I wanted to see you.” She said, “Is it your break yet?”

“It is now.” He said, “Yo, Phil! Take over for me, I’m taking my break now.” He said to the other guy who was mopping the floor. He jumped over the counter. “Come on.”

They went to a diner so they could talk while eating, but they didn’t even start talking after a while until it got too eerily quiet because they were both trying to get a feel of what the other was thinking. It was Ally who broke first.

“How are you doing?” She asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You know…about what happened yesterday.” She said, “I’m really sorry about what my dad said.”

“Why? He was telling the truth.” He said, “You’d be better off without me.”

“Don’t say that!” She said, “It’s not true”

“But it is true! You have no future with me.” He said, “Look at you, you have so much promise. You’re smart, you’re talented, and you do great in everything. You have such a bright future…

He took a deep breathe, "Me? I’m working at a fu**ing gas station with no direction in life because I decided not to go to college and go to the Marines instead and I couldn’t even hold on to that. What life am I gonna give you? My family’s been bankrupt twice, you can’t live like that. You can do better than me.”

“No!” She grabbed his hand. “You’re all I need. I can’t even picture myself with anyone other than you. Randy, I know it’s frustrating, but you have to be strong like how you were strong for me when I needed you. You have to use all the negativity as motivation. I believe in you. I have faith. You have to have faith in yourself too.”

“It’s hard when nothing is working out and everyone’s looking down on you.” Randy said. “It’s not just your dad, Ally. It’s everyone. People from school look at us when we’re together and I know they’re thinking the same thing." He paused.

"How could a sweet, nice, smart, beautiful girl like you end up with someone like me? A stupid muscle head that has nothing going on for him.”

“Stop saying that! Stop talking like that! Just stop beating yourself up.” She said. “God, I swear, Randy, I could slap you right now for talking about my boyfriend like that!”

He looked at her in surprise at what she said. He wasn’t going to but he just had to laugh a little and shake his head. It’s funny how she knew just what to say to ease him, even just a little. He took a deep breath and released his tension.

“I’m sorry.” He said, placing his hand over hers, with his head down. “I shouldn’t talk trash about your boyfriend like that. Everybody does that already, I should be above it.” He glanced up at her, “He loves you, you know.”

“I know.” She said, “I just hope he knows how much I love him, too.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him.” He said, as he kissed her hand.

She smiled finally. “What are you gonna do without me?” She joked.

“I don’t know...but I don’t want to find out.” He said, “One thing I do know though…is that I have to take responsibility for my actions…for my choices. You’re dad’s right about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m gonna go back to camp.” He said, “I’ll face whatever punishment they have to give me for being a deserter. They’d probably court martial me…lock me up for a couple of months... Then I’ll come back to you…if you’d still have me.”

“Of course I will.” She touched his face, “Don’t ever doubt it.”


That week, Randy went back to Camp Horno to do what he said he would do. But he didn’t expect things to go the way it did.

[Annaya]

Chapter 14

Camp Horno, Pendleton, CA



When Randy came back to the camp, they didn’t immediately throw him to the brig. He was fully intent on getting his discharge, but his 1ST Sergeant didn’t want to recommend him for it based on his performance before he left.

He was told he would be picking up from his training the following day. So he was left with no other choice but to do something about it.

The next day came and the platoon were supposed to get up early for their Physical Training, but Randy didn’t go. He decided to sleep in instead. He didn’t even attempt to catch up and slept till afternoon.

For his efforts, he was summoned to have a talk with his Battalion Commander, and he was ordered to have a special court martial for being a deserter and disobeying a direct order.

But unfortunately for him, the process didn’t happen soon at all. He didn’t even meet his lawyer for two months.

He had his court martial on by the end of July of that year, and he was sentenced to 45 days in the Brig, forfeiture of his pay, and a Bad Conduct Discharge.

He was taken straight from his court martial to the Base Brig in Camp Pendleton.

Forty five days seemed like forever for him, as days went by so slow. Part of his punishment was being assigned a lot of heavy work details in the camp.

He didn’t get any privileges either. Since he turned himself in, he wasn't able to contact anyone at all via phone.

It was a hard time, but it was even harder for his family and for Ally who were all worried about him. The only thing that was helping Ally to keep holding on was his high school ring he left her and the promise he gave her along with it.



PLAY ME!


Summer came and Ally’s family had a plan to spend it at her mom’s sister in Italy. She wanted to stay behind but her mom pleaded with her to go because it was supposed to be a bonding time with the family after all.

She couldn’t say no. She knows her parents needed it and it might be one way for them to actually try and fix their fractured home.

There was not a day that she stopped thinking of Randy while she was in Italy though. She barely enjoyed herself despite the scenic views that surround the place.


For Randy and Ally, each day was just another day they wished it was winter again. Back to February when everything was great and nothing else seemed to matter.

Way before judging eyes casted their sights on their relationship. Way back before they both had to make the hard decisions and just enjoyed the time they had together.

Every day in that place that resembled paradise, all she wanted was to be with Randy, to be in his strong arms, surrounding her with his warmth.

And every day in that place that felt like hell where he was detained, all he longed for was to have her in his arms, to feel her soft skin, smell her subtle fragrance, and to kiss her sweet lips.



Finally, the order for Randy’s release came at the end of August. But with a sudden twist of fate, he had an accident as he was returning his gear and he had to stay at the Camp’s infirmary for another week.

While confined, he had a lot of time to think about what he was going to do upon his return to St. Louis. He didn’t have anything to go back to. He could probably get his job back at the gas station, but then what?

The only silver lining he could see in his life at that moment was Ally. Surely she would be there for him. He could say that was enough, but then again, how was he going to live with himself if he couldn’t give her everything she deserves in life?

He knew he had to do something, but he has no idea what and its driving him crazy. He knows Ally wouldn’t hear him putting himself down because she loves him, but he has to be realistic.

It might not matter to her now, but what about in the future, when the realities and bleakness of life finally dawns on her? It scares him, in reality, to think of a life without her.

He doesn’t quite know what he’ll do when the time comes. He just wishes it didn’t have to happen.

--------------------------------------------------

The first few weeks since he came back, it was the same old story—the same way things were months ago when he left it. The same people who gave him judging looks when they see him and Ally together but have no guts to say anything about it to his face.

Ally was in her junior year in high school then and she was very much involved in extra-curricular activities and other civic projects in preparation for college. But despite that, she still finds time for him, which he found rather amazing.

They were in the basement, which he had turned into his room, one Saturday afternoon. The place was a mess and she took it upon herself to organize. He tried to stop her, for shame, but she wouldn’t have it.

“You really don’t have to do that.” He said.

“I know.” She said, “But I like doing stuff for you.” She held up one of his briefs, a black one, which she found in his sock drawer. “Hmm…nice.”

He stood up, and walked towards her with a wicked smile.

“So that’s where it went.” He said, talking against her neck, as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I was looking all over for that.”

His hands slipped under her blouse, rubbing her stomach. “There’s one thing I have no trouble finding though.”

“Mhhmm…” She folded the underwear and placed it on the right drawer. His touch was sending shivers down her spine, and forming goosebumps on her skin.

“And what’s that?” She asked, trying to hide her smile because he was tickling her.

“These…” He said.

He slipped a hand under her bra and gently caressed the soft mounds underneath the fabric, while simultaneously unhooking it behind her. It made her gasp, and he liked it. She turned around and he quickly claimed her mouth.

He lifted her up in his embrace and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, as he carried her to his bed, maneuvering so she’d be on top of him, her legs astride him. He sat up for a while and took his shirt off, but then she pushed him down again, and kissed him relentlessly.

“My, my, what happened to my timid little angel?” He joked.

“You made her bad.” She said.

She slid down on him little by little, leaving a trail of kisses, from his throat, just under his Adam’s apple, down his collar bone, to the middle of his chest as she clutched on his pecs.

Things were getting hotter by the second and he could definitely feel it in his loins, but then suddenly, he just stopped her.

“Wait…Wait…Ally.” He sat up, pushing her up as well, allowing her to sit astride still on his lap. “Hold up!”

“What’s wrong?” She asked. “You okay?”

“I’m sorry…I can’t…I can’t do this right now.” He said, putting his hands on her shoulders.

He was sure he wanted to, but there was something that made him hesitate. It was the same thing that has been bothering him lately. Ally made for a good distraction, but ultimately, she was part of what he’d been worrying about. She could read that about him, but was unsure.

“Is something bothering you?” She asked. She cupped his face, so he’d look at her. “You can tell me. We’re in this together right? Your problem’s my problem too.”

“I’m just really frustrated with myself.” He said, slumping back on the headboard. “I can’t live like this. I want something better. I want to matter.”

“You matter to me.” She said, “You’re all that matter to me.”

“Al…That’s not what I mean.” He said, “I want to be somebody, doing something I can be proud of, something I love to do, something I excel at. I can’t work at a gasoline station all my life. I want something better for myself…and for you. For our future.”

She got off of him, and sat down beside him on the bed, resting her head on his shoulder. “It’s gonna happen. I have faith in you.” She said.

She took his hand in hers and traced the lines on his palm. “Randy, it’s not gonna happen overnight. You have to be patient. Take it one step at a time. You have to start small, and work your way up.”

“I don’t even know where to start.” He sighed.

“Why don’t you ask for my dad’s help?” She said, “He has connections, I’m sure he can help you.”

“Pfft…Ally, your dad’s the last person who’s gonna help me.” He said, “He hates my guts.”

“Come on, he doesn’t hate your guts.” Ally said, “He’s just challenging you.”

“Yeah, well…I’d ask my dad for help first before I ask your dad.” He snorted.

“Why don’t you then?” She sat up, her eyes bright. “You love wrestling, he’s a wrestler, and he has connections…maybe that’s where you can excel.”

“You think?” He asked, unsure.

“I know.” She said.

“Well…I guess, it’s worth a shot.” He said, contemplatively. “They’re going to have a show here in a couple of weeks, maybe I can persuade them to give me a try-out or something.”

“There you go!” She beamed, “I’m sure they’ll like you.”

“Yeah…I hope so.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of weeks after that, WWF came to St. Louis for a show, and Bob took Randy backstage and introduced him to Jack Lanza and Tony Garea. They thought he has the look and the size. He certainly fit into the mold of the current crop of wrestlers the company was marketing.

They asked him about his background and they were pretty impressed with his accomplishments as an athlete in high school.

He spent the next weeks working out and improving his skills, learning the basics, and studying hours and hours of clips of wrestling matches, soaking up everything to prepare himself for what was to come.

His efforts and hard work didn’t go to waste. It didn’t take long after that, around the month of December, Randy received a call from the company officials, and they asked him to fly to Stamford, CT for a try-out. He was signed then and was to report to Louisville Kentucky, to train in OVW.

But not before saying good bye to Ally. He was so excited that day, when he came home from Stamford, with the great news. He had already called his parents the day before, but he wanted to personally tell Ally about it.

She took it pretty well and was happy for him. Suppose, she always knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but at least he could come home when he can unlike in the Marines where he could go years without coming home.



So then, he went to Louisville, and started his training at OVW, for the WWE’s developmental program. He showed great potential and learned very quickly.

Soon enough was booked to wrestle on events and was one of the most promising rookies of the promotion. There he became sure he was destined for great things, and worked really hard to attain his goals.

But despite his busy schedule, he never forgets Ally. He even bought a cellular phone just so he could call her any time any where he was.

He tells her everything that’s happening, the good and the bad, and she was always there for him, to listen and encourage him.

He doesn’t come home too often, probably once a month, or twice if he’s lucky and the show is close to St. Louis. Whenever he does, he would make sure he’d spend quality time with his family, and with Ally.

It was the night before he had to leave again, and they spent a whole day together, like they usually do. It was sunset and they were watching the Sun go down by the Gateway Arch.

They were inside his car, with a couple of suitcases in the back already loaded in it.

“Are you gonna miss me?” He asked as he ran his fingers through her hair.

“I always miss you when you’re away.” She whispered. “In fact, I’ll start missing you once we part tonight.”

He was silent for a while, just holding her closer, tighter. “I wish I could take you with me.” He said. “I’m getting homesick already.”

“I’d love to go with you…but I can’t.” She said. “Not yet anyway.”

“Yeah, I know.” Randy sighed, “Maybe after high school…you know, you can go to University of Kentucky so you can live with me. You can stay at my apartment; it’ll just be the two of us. It’s gonna be great.”

“Umm…yeah…” She said. “That’d be…great.”

He sensed the little hesitation in her voice, but couldn’t decide what to make of it. He was sure she would have wanted the same thing. Maybe wrestling won’t pay much at the start but he knows he’s going to work as hard as he can to be able to provide for her.

He’d been thinking about it over and over until they went home. Finally he couldn’t contain it within himself any longer and had to ask her.

“So…I’ll see you tomorrow?” Ally said, “I want to go with you to the airport.” She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Good night, I love you.”

“Ally, wait.” He said, grabbing her hand when she was about to go out.

She sat back down, “What is it?” She asked, “Is there a problem?”

“You tell me.” He said. “That’s what I want to know.”

“I don’t understand.” She said, puzzled.

He sighed, “I’m sorry…it’s just that, when I told you about moving together after you graduate from high school…well, you kind of hesitated, and it kind of…well, it more than kind of bothered me.” He said, “I mean, I thought that was what you would've wanted.”

She was stunned for a moment. She didn’t think he’d notice her hesitation, and would actually think something of it. It wasn’t really that she didn’t want it.

It is exactly what she wanted, to be with him, just the two of them, get married, face life as it comes to them.

“Of course, it is.” She said, “It’s everything I want.” She tipped his chin so he’d look at her directly instead of the rearview mirror. “I love you, and I want to be with you more than anything in this world. I want to be with you forever if God will let me....I was just surprised. That’s all it was.” She gulped, hoping he’d believe her. “I didn’t expect you to say it, or even to be thinking about it. Other guys usually don’t.”

“Well, I’m not other guys.” He said.

“I know.” She cupped his face. “You’re my Randy. There’s no one in the world like you.”

“Damn right, there isn’t.” He said, a small smile breaking out at the corner of his lips.

She smiled, “So can I kiss you good night now?”

“You already did, but sure go ahead.” He said, raising an eyebrow like the Rock.

She laughed and kissed him again, through his smile until he light in the porch of her house started blinking, signaling that her dad was waiting for her to come inside. So she got out finally, and Randy went home.


Lying there in the darkness of his room, Randy still really wasn’t convinced about Ally’s explanation. He couldn’t point a finger at it, but he was sure that he knows her enough to know when there’s something she’s hiding from him.

He knows for sure that she loves him though, so maybe that was enough not to let it get to him too much. Whatever it is, it couldn’t have such a huge impact in their relationship.

He figured, if it was important, if it was such a big deal, then she was going to tell him about it. If not now then eventually.


Meanwhile, in Ally’s room, she couldn’t sleep either. She thought about what Randy said, about what his plans are for the two of them.

She really does want the same thing more than anything in the world. She didn’t even care where they live, as long as they are together. She was so happy to hear it coming from him

In her heart and in her mind, he was all she’d ever need. But that’s fantasy. She knows the real world isn’t as pretty as what she imagined.

And no matter how much she tries not to open her eyes to the harsh realities of life, she knows it’s going to catch up with them sooner or later. She had to be practical. She has to think about the future—her future.

She stood up, her heart heavy, and walked towards her table. She pulled the drawer open and took out a brown envelope and pulled its content out. It was an acceptance at a prestigious university in Milan.

While they were there last summer, her dad had initiated the wheels unbeknownst to her, and applied in her behalf. She was surprised when he suddenly took her to the university to take an exam.

Two days ago, she received the results and she was accepted. She didn’t expect it to follow through. It was such a big deal for her father that she did not have the heart to turn it down. Her dad said they could move with her to Milan if she decides to go.

He said maybe it was the opportunity he and her mom needed, to start again somewhere new, that maybe then they could finally fix everything. How could she deny her parents that chance?

She hasn’t made up her mind yet, but she knew she has to soon. And she has to tell Randy about it too.

[Annaya]

Chapter 15

“So, me and Kaye are going shopping for prom dresses later.” Leslie, Ally’s friend said. “Are you gonna come?”

They were at the school cafeteria during lunch break. It was going to be their last prom in a couple of weeks, being seniors.

“Umm…no, I don’t think so.” Ally said.

“Oh, come on! You haven’t gone out with us at all lately.” Leslie said, “Your social life is like, dead.”

“Well, I’m not going to the prom so I don’t see why I have to go shopping.” She said.

“Why not?” Kaye asked. “I mean, I know you attended a couple of times because of Randy, but this is our last prom.”

“Well, that’s exactly why I’m not going.” Ally said, matter-of-factly. “Randy’s not here, so I don’t have a date.”

“He’s not here so you can date someone else.” Kaye said, teasing here.

“Uh, that’s called ‘cheating’, if you’re not familiar with the term.” Ally said, rather annoyed. “I’m not going to do that to him.”

“Come on, Ally! How do you know he’s not cheating on you? He’s so far away.” Kaye said, teasing her some more. “For all we know, he’s got some hot blonde staying with him that he’s not telling you about.”

“Shut up.” Ally said. “He’s not like that, okay? He loves me, and I trust him. So just stop it.”

“I’m just teasing you.” Kaye said, leaning over. “I’m sorry.”

“Well it’s not funny.”

“Kaye, really, you know how devoted she is to Randy.” Leslie said, “Anyway…have you told him about the college thing?”

She became quiet then. Aside from her dad, the principal had also talked to her about going. It was her after all and her friend Jean Luc Salvatorre, who had talked to her father about the school.

They all thought she was a real good candidate for the Art School where she can learn and hone her skills. Her principal thought she could bring such honor to the school because of it.

“No, I haven’t.” She said, “I don’t even know how to begin. I mean, we talk all the time and he’s so excited about how things are going…I couldn’t just drop it like, ‘hey Randy, I might be going to Milan for college.’”

“Are you really set on going, though?” Kaye asked.

“I haven’t really made up my mind yet.” She said.

In her heart, if Randy told her not to go, she might just do what he says. But going Milan really does look like a great opportunity.

She had always wanted to live overseas, and explore the world. Milan is so full of culture and it looked so beautiful to her.

She’s really torn about all of it, about what she has with Randy and what she could have in Milan.

It was already hard keeping a relationship working with the distance they have between them, let alone if that distance would be even larger.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks after…


It was Friday and everyone seems to be spending the evening in town, or at the prom, except for Ally. Even her parents were out with friends, separately, as usual. She was alone at their house, waiting for the phone to ring.

She was tuned in to Smackdown, because she knows Randy was watching it and he would call as soon as the show was over.

It was like clockwork, and as soon as the last match was over, the phone rang. And like he always does, he tells her all about how his week went.

“Did you see that ‘Randy Orton’ sign in the crowd?” Randy asked, “People are talking about me now, I’m sure I’ll get called up on the main roster soon enough. Oh, I forgot to tell you the other day, some of us guys are going to be on the road, doing shows. I’m pretty excited about it.”

“That’s great, baby.”

Usually, she would be listening attentively in everything he says and would be as excited as he is, but he noticed she wasn’t responding or talking much.

“Is everything alright, babe?” He asked. “You’re kind of quiet.”

“Umm…yeah.” She said, “It’s all good.”

“Are you sure? If there’s anything wrong, you know you can tell me.” He said, “I’ll come home if you need me to.”

“No, no…everything’s fine, really.” She said, “I just…I have a lot on my mind. It’s my senior year…and I’m looking into colleges…and stuff.”

“Did you look into University of Kentucky?” He asked, “I mean…no pressure if you don’t wanna go there, it’s just its closer to me, so…But you can go to any college in the country, I won’t mind…I can always come visit you.”

That’s the problem, I might not go to any college in the country. She thought. God, how am I gonna tell him about this? I can’t…not through the phone…we need to talk about this face to face…

“Hello? Ally? Are you still there, babe?” Randy asked when she didn’t speak for several seconds.

“Yeah, I’m sorry…I’m still here.” She said.
Her heart was just getting heavier because she didn’t like keeping things from him, especially something as important for so long.

“I’m just really tired. I’m sorry…”

“Oh…hey, it’s okay.” He said.

He really wanted to have her on the phone longer, but he didn’t want to oblige her if she wasn’t up to it.

“You should umm…go to sleep. I’m heading out with the guys in a few minutes anyway.”

“You are?” She asked, “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know…probably a bar or something.” He said.

He was lying of course, the other guys already left and he stayed behind because he wanted to talk to her. “Hey, don’t worry, I’m not even gonna look at other girls.”

“I’m not…I trust you.” She said. “Well, you better go…I’m gonna go to bed. Good night.”

“Yeah…Good night.” He said, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She said.

She put the phone down first and Randy held his phone on his ear until he heard the line go dead. Suddenly that lingering feeling he felt the last time they were together, that she was not telling him something, came back to him. He was surer now than before about it and it bothered him to no end.

Right then he made a decision to come home as soon as he can. He needed to talk to her and get to the bottom of it. He was sure she wasn’t going to be able to hide anything from him if they talk face to face—at least that’s what he was hoping for.

Whatever it is, she was going to have to tell him.


After Ally put the phone down, she went to bed but didn’t really get to sleep until after her mom came home and checked up on her.

She was just lying on her bed, clutching at her pillow with her eyes closed, but her mind troubled.

“Ally, are you asleep?” Alice whispered. When Ally didn’t speak, she assumed she was and started to close the door.

“Mom…wait.” Ally said.

Alice came back in and closed the door behind her. “Hey, I thought you were sleeping already.” She said as she sat beside Ally. “What’s wrong? Didn’t Randy call?”

“He did.” Ally said. “Right on time as always.”

“So what’s wrong?” Alice asked. She waited for Ally to speak up but then she guessed it already. “You still haven’t told him about Milan?”

Ally nodded.

“Have you even made up your mind yet?” Alice asked. Ally didn’t answer, so she knew she was still undecided. “Honey, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“But dad said…”

“I know what your dad told you.” Alice said, “Honey, it’s our problem. You shouldn’t be worrying and burdening yourself about it. You’ll be turning eighteen in a few months; you’ve got to live your life the way you want to and not by any pressure from us or because you feel obliged by your dad.”

“But I want to do it for you…for our family.” Ally said. “I-its also a good opportunity for me…” She added, just to argue that she isn’t because she felt obliged.

“It is. Honey, I’m not saying it’s not.” Alice said, “But that’s an opportunity you can also get here. Honey, you’re smart, you are an amazing young lady. Opportunities are going to come to you. You close one door, another one will open…but you have to pick the one that will make you the most happy.”

“This is your life. You have to make choices for yourself and not for anyone else.” She ran her fingers through Ally’s hair, “Ally, I don’t want you to make a decision that you’ll regret. Your dad and I have already tried our damndest to fix this marriage…look where we are now.”

Alice looked as if her tears were about to fall, but she blinked it back in.

“Going overseas isn’t gonna change anything.” She cupped Ally’s face. “Yes, we could try…for the millionth time…but you don’t have to gamble on it. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for something hopeless.”

Her tears fell then but she quickly wiped it away. “You should go to sleep, you’ll think better after a good night’s rest.”

She kissed Ally on the forehead and abruptly left the room. Ally was left there, even more confused than she previously was. Her mom has never opened up to her about how bad the situation really is. And her saying it was a hopeless case was a blow to her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday. One month before Ally’s Graduation.


Ally and her friends were just walking out the building when she saw a familiar car parked in the parking lot. It was a maroon minivan, and she knew exactly who was driving it.



It’s been several weeks since Randy last came home and she couldn’t keep her excitement.

She ran towards the car and saw him sleeping in the driver seat. He got there that afternoon and waited for her to come out. He had a show that night at Cape Girardeau, and since they haven’t seen each other for a while, he thought he’d surprise her.

He was roused from his sleep by the sound of her knocking on his window, and he was a little bit irritated because she was knocking so loud and with urgency, but all that evaporated when he saw her smile.

“Babe!”

He opened the door immediately, and she almost leaped inside into his arms. She hit the horns when she did and it sounded off until she was sitting comfortable on his lap, facing him, legs astride.

“You seem happy to see me!” He said, beaming from ear to ear.

“Happy is an understatement!” She said, before she kissed him.

He pushed the seat and backrest backwards to allow for more space in the car as he kissed her back, but letting her take control.

Then she suddenly stopped. She poised her arms on either side of him, crouched like a tiger. She stared at him with a wicked smile and smoldering look in her eyes.

“Hmm…I think you’re happy to see me too.” She said.

“Yeah? You think?” He said, licking his lips.

“Well, let’s just say…” She leaned down over him, bending her elbows so their face would be closer to each other. “I got a feeling at the pit of my stomach that you’re very excited to see me.” She was gesturing towards his crotch as she said it.

“Excited is an understatement.” He said, with a little laugh.

They were at that position when Ally’s friends caught up with them. They have actually been standing outside the car for several seconds, but they knew how Ally really missed Randy so they didn’t say or do anything until they felt a little uncomfortable.

“Hey, guys…” Leslie knocked, “Like, get a room or something? This is a public place, you know.”

“Oops!” Ally said, as she got off him. “I forgot about them.”

“Yeah, I have that effect…you know, make you forget everything.” Randy winked.

He got out of the car with the seat cushion in front of his crotch as if hiding what’s there. He was only wearing a wife beater and basketball shorts so it was indeed necessary.

“Hey girls, long time no see.”

“Hey, Randy.” Leslie said. “How’s it going?”

“Sorry about that…” Ally said, trying to stifle her smile as she fixed her dress. “I uh….”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kaye said, “We totally understand.”

“So, why are you in town?” Leslie asked Randy.

She’s become Ally’s best friend since they met in their sophomore year, and being older than her, she kind of feel protective of Ally.

“Oh, actually I have a show tonight across town. At Cape Girardeau.” He stood behind Ally and put an arm around her neck, playfully putting on a choke hold. “And since its close I thought I’d see my lovely girlfriend whom I’ve missed a lot.”

Ally slipped around his chokehold though, using a maneuver she learned from him, and twisting his arm in effect.

“Cape Girardeau? Can I come?” She asked, “Please? I want to watch you.”

“Well…It’s going to be late.” Randy said.

“That’s okay, it’s Friday.” Kaye said, “I want to go too.”

“You do? Why?” Leslie asked.

“Well…Ally needs company. She can’t go sit in the crowd by herself.” Kaye said.

“Or why don’t you just say that you want to see if there are other cute guys around.” Leslie said.

“You know me too well.”

Ally and Randy laughed. “Well, okay, if you really want to go…I guess I could take you girls with me.”

“Really? That would be awesome!” Ally said, jumping on to him as she wrap her arms around his shoulders.

“You do know we have to endure the two of them going PDA around us, don’t you?” Leslie said.

“Oh, let them be.” Kaye said.


Ally called her mom to tell her she was going to Cape Girardeau with her friends Leslie and Kaye for a project, but she didn’t say that they were going there with Randy to watch him wrestle. She just said they were going to be home late.

So then, they got to the venue were the show was going to take place. It wasn’t a big place at all, it was just about the size of their high school gym, with a ring in the middle, with a few folding chairs around by the railings.

But before the show, he introduced the girls, especially Ally to some of the guys. They were pretty okay kind of guys, and were very nice to the girls. Some were a little bit flirty but backed off when he said they were still in high school.

“So you mean this pretty young lady is your girlfriend?” One guy with a bleach blonde hair said to Randy. “How the f**k did an asshole like you managed that?”

Randy gave a finger and a smug look, with a pout.

“I’m guessing he harassed you or something right?” The guy said.

“Don’t worry, you can talk. I’ll protect you, he can’t hurt you.”

“f**k you, Cena!” Randy said, a bit pissed.

“Actually, we’ve known each other for a long time.” Ally said, hooking her arm around Randy’s to kind of calm him down.

He seems to be soothed by it. She was a little surprised at how Randy was acting though. She was not used to hearing him curse and be that aggressive. She supposed he was just adapting to his environment, with all the machismo going on.

Although, she couldn’t deny that it did kind of appealed to her.

“Come on, let’s get you girls seated.” Randy said, putting an arm around Ally’s shoulder. “Watch me beat up The Prototype later.”

“In your dreams Cowboy junior!” The guy said.

“You’re fighting him later?” Ally asked.

“Yep.”

“Who was that?” Kaye asked. “What’s his name?”

“That’s Cena. John Cena.” Randy said. “He’s called Prototype.”

“Why is he called that?” Leslie asked.

“You’ll see why later.”

Randy was booked to win that night, but he and John had one hell of a fight. Ally couldn’t really watch much, because every time Randy would get hit she would look away.

She’s watched WWF shows on TV so she knew it was very different from the amateur wrestling he did back in high school. But it’s different for her watching it live, especially when Randy was the one getting hurt.

She could hear the loud thumps on the ring reverberating, and grimaced every time he hits the mat hard. But then he started to get back into the match and she was cheering excitedly for him until he won.

He slipped out of the ring right after his arm was raised in victory by the referee, and the crowd actually was cheering for him as well as a few several women in tacky outfits who didn’t look too pleased when he approached her.

“Hey, baby!” Randy said, beaming even though he was breathing heavily. “Did you see me? I was good huh?”

“You were great!” She said, “Are you okay, though? You hurt anywhere?”

“Yeah…I’m hurt all over, but I’ll be fine.” He said, smirking. “Come here, give me a kiss.”

He didn’t really wait for her to come closer. Instead he put his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him and kissed her. She struggled a bit out of surprise, but then gave in and kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

The crowd began to cheer louder then as well.

“Sorry, I’m sweaty.” He said, after he let go of her lips but still holding her close.

“I don’t mind…” She said, almost breathlessly.

“Don’t go out till everyone’s gone. Wait for me at the car. I’ll just go clean up.” He whispered in her ear before he let go.

“Yeah, okay.” She said.

She trailed him with her eyes as he made a round of the audience until he went to the back, signing autographs for some guys on his way. She figured he must really be starting to make a name for himself in the industry and felt proud and happy for him.

And then she noticed the women in tacky outfits looking at her again, and she just kind of rolled her eyes and brushed them off.

Ally and her friends waited until the gym was emptied before they went out as Randy instructed, and waited for him in his car and waited for him.

While waiting, they were talking about the whole experience. They talked about the match, and the crowd, and the other guys. Of course, Ally always put Randy ahead of everyone else as she was just so proud of him. That is until Leslie asked the all important question and changed the mood.

“So have you told him you’re going to Italy yet?” Leslie asked.

“Umm…no. Not yet.” Ally said.

“Why haven’t you told him?” Kaye asked. “Aren’t you going?”

“I just…I don’t know yet.” She said, “I haven’t really made my mind up yet if I want to go or not.”

“Ally, that’s what you said last month.” Leslie said, “You need to make up your mind soon, don’t you think? I mean, if he’s a big factor why you haven’t decided yet. You have to tell him about it at least. This is almost like when you got mad at him for not telling you he was joining the Marines.”

Ally considered what Leslie said. She remembered how she felt that time when Randy didn’t tell her about joining the Marines until his time was almost up. It hurt a lot, and she was really mad.

But she loves him too much and forgave him anyway. She just hoped he would do the same, whatever she decides.

“You’re right…I have to tell him.” She said. “The sooner the better.”

“Tell me what?” Randy suddenly asked, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, leaning in through the window, and startling the three of them.

He got in the car and they looked like they just seen a ghost. “What are you girls talking about?”

“That…umm…” Ally’s voice trailed, looking for the right words to say.

“That she’s hungry.” Kaye said. “Right, Ally?”

Ally looked at her wide-eyed. “Yes! That’s right.” She said, “I’m hungry…I mean, watching you kind of drained my energy…”

“Ah…well, I’m hungry too.” Randy said, “Where do you girls wanna eat? My treat!”

“Actually, Kaye and I need to go.” Leslie said, “Ally can stay, you two can eat. We have tons of school work to do.”

“It’s Friday night.” Randy said.

“It can’t wait.” Leslie said, glancing at Ally.

“Alright, let me drive you to the bus stop at least.” Randy started the car. “So where do you wanna eat, babe?”

“Anywhere.” Ally said, “I’m good anywhere.”


After they dropped Leslie and Kaye to the bus stop back to St. Louis, they went to eat at some diner. He wanted to take her to at least a 3-star restaurant because he’s never taken her before, but she insisted he save his money.

While eating, Randy was excitedly telling her how his career was taking off. He told her stories on the road and how much fun he was having.

He also told her he was getting some heat from the other guys who think he’s getting breaks because of who his father is. And all the while, Ally was just nodding and agreeing with him—until he called her out on it.

“I’m gonna prove them all wrong. They’re all just jealous anyway, because they all can see I got it…” Randy said.

He looked at her and she looked so distracted. “Earth to Ally! Are you okay babe?”

“I-I’m sorry…I just, I have a lot on my mind.”

“I figured, ‘cause you know…you’re not listening to me.” Randy said, rather sarcastically. But then he caught himself, and took it down a notch. “Is there something wrong? You wanna tell me about it?”

She looked at him, into his eyes, trying to figure out how best to tell him what she needed to. She hasn’t really decided on it yet, but everything was already set and all that was needed was for her to decide whether she was going or not, and she is completely torn about it.

“I do have something…really important to tell you.” She said.

“Wait…you’re not…pregnant…are you?” He asked, a bit nervously.

“No, no…it’s not that.” Ally sighed. So did Randy, in relief. “It’s…it’s about college.”

“Oh…what about it?” He asked, “Listen, if you don’t want to come to Kentucky U, that’s fine with me.”

“Randy…”

“You can go anywhere in the country you’d like. I can deal with that.” He said, “I mean, I’m always on the road anyway so I can visit you whenever I’m close by.”

“Randy, wait…”

“We’d still see each other when you come home for holidays and summers.”

“No, we won’t.” She said, “I’m…I’m going to Italy.”

“You’re what?” He asked.

He was thinking she only meant he was going to Italy for the summer like she had on several occasions, but she was giving off something else with the way she was acting and he didn’t quite like it.

“I’ve been accepted in a college in Italy.” Ally explained, “I took the exam last summer and I got in. It’s really great. I’ll have a year to study the language and culture and get integrated before the formal classes. And my parents are going to come to live with me there.”

“Wait, so you’ve done all that and I’m only hearing about it now?” Randy asked, his voice raised a little and his displeasure apparent.

“When did you even plan on this? You took the exam last summer…while I was in the brig? Great…and I thought you were thinking of me the whole time.”

“Randy, it’s not like that.” She said, she took his hand into hers. “I was thinking of you the whole time. I was so worried sick about you…I didn’t plan on taking the exam; I wasn’t even ready for it. Dad just went and…”

“You weren’t ready and yet you passed.” He said, pulling his hand away. “How convenient!”

“Randy…please hear me out first.” She pleaded. “I really didn’t plan it. It just sort of happened. It’s a really big deal for me…and my parents.”

“It’s a big deal to you and you never once mentioned it to me before now? Damn it Al, do I even matter to you?” He stood up then. “Why are you even telling me this now? God damn it!”

His temper is starting to really heat up. Ally got up and followed him around.

“Randy, of course you matter to me.” She said, “I’m telling you…”

She stopped as he paid the tab at the counter, but then he marched out of the diner without even looking at her, or taking his change. He just really wants to get out of there, because he felt suffocated and he wanted to explode.

“Randy, please stop and listen to me for a second!” She said, still following him around the parking lot. Her tears were starting to form in her eyes. “I haven’t even decided if I want to go yet! That’s why I’m telling you, I want to know what you think!”

He turned around then, abruptly, “You didn’t need my opinion when you took the entrance exam! Why the f**k would you want to know what I think? Hell for all I know, you’ve already purchased a f**king plane ticket!”

“That’s not true!” Ally said. Her tears were starting to fall. “Please, Randy, please, let’s just talk about this for a minute.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” Randy said, completely brushing her off. Not even stopping to look at her until he got to his car.

“Don't even pretend like you haven't already decided on it!" He said, standing by the open door of his car. "Go to Italy if you want to! I don’t give a f**k! Do whatever the f**k you want, I don’t care!”

And with that he got in his car, gunned the engine and sped off, leaving her in shock, like she couldn’t believe what just happened. He just left her there—all by herself.

She just stood there for several minutes, trying to think—trying to make herself think, but nothing was coming to her. It was like her mind was completely blank and she couldn’t even move.

[Annaya]

Chapter 16

Didn't wanna tell you you were right..
But like the season changing oh, I felt it too...

Randy drove fast and furious. He was so mad, he couldn’t even control it. He wasn’t even driving long, just about ten minutes, but he had already gotten really far because he was speeding.

He almost didn’t hit the break in time when a truck blasted past in front of him at an intersection. That’s when he had time to breathe, and take a moment to think.

He had such a close call, that he had to pull over to the side of the road and gather his senses and realize what he just did. He just took off and left Ally in the middle of nowhere, and he couldn’t believe it.

He felt guilty about it. He felt guilty about walking out on her, for acting the way he did.

Go back. You need to go back!

A voice in his head told him, and he listened.

He turned the car around and drove back to where he left her. It felt like forever to drive back because he was trying to drive carefully after almost getting in an accident, and at the same time, things were running through his head.

He admits to himself that he over reacted, and even though he still felt hurt and angry about the situation, he knew he was wrong to do what he did. He didn’t know how he would approach her though, if she was even still there.



_{PLAY ME!}

Does anybody know how to hold my heart?
How to hold my heart
Cause I don't wan let go, let go, let go too soon...

Ally went back to the diner. She just sat there, at a corner, by herself, staring into empty space. The place was almost empty because it was about to close for the night.

There were still a few customers, but most of the seats were turned up on the tables.

Some of the staff was looking at her, wondering what she was still doing there. They kind of got an idea about what happened earlier with her and Randy, since they saw how irate he was when he stormed out of the place.

“He’ll come back.” She said, softly, that only she can hear herself.

There were no tears on her eyes. She’d wiped them off before she came back inside—after standing outside for several minutes. In her head, she kept thinking Randy is going to come back. He can’t just leave her like that.

But what if he does?

What if he does come back?

What was she going to do?

How was she going to react?

Would she just run into his arms and forgive him for what he did, just like all the other times that he’s hurt her with his actions, with his words?

He made her feel so small, yelling and cursing at her like that.

Memories from the past blazed into her mind. She recounted all the other times he’d hurt her feelings. She had always forgiven him because she loves him so much. In one split second, she began to question him—to doubt him.

Why couldn’t he be more understanding? Why does she have to always be the one on the giving end? Why does she always forgive him and he couldn’t even listen to her.

She brushed the thought away, subconsciously—or perhaps it was a conscious decision. She wasn’t going to have those thoughts. It’s unacceptable. He loves her, she firmly believes that.

But why does it still hurt?

Stop it, Ally! He’ll come back. He’ll apologize, and you’ll talk it out.

She thought to herself.

If he tells me to stay, I will. If he tells me not to go, I won’t go. Please, make him come back. God, make him come back for me.

And like a prayer suddenly granted, Randy walked back in then, as she looked up. She was all filled up with emotions, and the tears she’d been holding all the while burst out of her eyes then like waterfalls.

It all felt too much that she just sat there frozen, looking at him, with tears flowing out of her eyes.

Seeing her that way drove more guilt into Randy. On his way back there, he’d been thinking about what to say to Ally. He was going to tell her how sorry he was, how wrong he was to walk out on her the way he did.

He wanted to apologize for talking to her the way he did, how he made her feel so small.

He wanted to hold her and tell her all of that. But he didn’t feel worthy of her forgiveness, after hurting her like that. He felt all these different emotions just rushing in all at once.

He was sad, guilt ridden, frustrated, annoyed—even angry. He was angry and that was overpowering everything else inside him. Whether he was angry at her, the situation, or at himself, it didn’t matter.

And she could see it clearly in his eyes when he came closer.

“Stop crying, you’re making me look bad.” He said in a hushed, but forceful voice. “Wipe your tears, let’s go.”

He turned around and started heading back to the door then. He couldn’t take the shame, and the feeling of eyes upon him that he just wanted to get out of there as fast as he could.

She stood up and followed him hurriedly; for fear that he’d leave her again.

On their way out, one of the place’s servers was standing close by the door, and couldn’t keep his thoughts to himself.

“f**king jerk.” He said, a little above a whisper.

Randy heard him though, and just like that, his temper blew up.

“f**k you too!” He turned around and walked towards the guy. “Know your place and mind your own business, you asshole!”

Luckily, Ally had enough presence of mind despite her condition and she grabbed Randy’s arm in time before he got to the guy. It was just in time too, because the other guys were just about getting ready to back up their coworker if the need arise.

“Randy, no! Stop!” She clinched his arm, trying to pull him away but only just slowed him down.

He was too strong and very much intent on what he wanted to do that she ended up getting dragged a bit instead.

“Randy, please stop!”

She didn’t let go of him until he relented in frustration. The guy just walked away to safety because Randy looked like he wanted to tear his head off his shoulders. Randy shook her off and stormed out of there, mouthing off angrily.

“I’m never coming to this shitty place ever again!” He said, “f**king assholes!”

Ally ran after him, confused at everything that just happened. She had never seen this side of him before. She knew he had a temper, but it was never this explosive. He used to have a bit more patience.

It scared her inside. It wasn’t as much she was afraid he’d hurt her, but that she was scared something might happen to him and he ends up getting hurt.

She knows him well enough to know that he couldn’t possibly be of clear mind right at that moment.

“Randy, please wait!” She called him, but he wasn’t listening to her. “Randy, slow down please?”

He was by the car then, at the passenger side and he opened the door rather brusquely.

“Will you shut up?” He said, angrily. “Just get in the f**king car!”

She hurried and got in the car as he demanded, and as soon as she did, he slammed the door shut, making the whole car shake. That time, it really shocked her because his aggression was directed towards her.

He walked around the front and caught a glimpse of Ally from the windshield, with her hands over her mouth, and fear on her eyes.

That’s when he woke up from his rage. He stopped for a second, rubbing his hands over his face, and running it over his head. He looked up at the dark sky and took a deep breath, holding the back of his neck.

He scared her. Scared her enough to be a trembling, crying mess, and he couldn’t believe it. In frustration and annoyance, he kicked the front wheel of the car.

He took a moment to calm himself down, before he got in the car. He could feel the tension in the air between them as he sat there, and it had never been that strong.

“Ally…” He said, softly.

He reached out to touch her, but she flinched away from him as if he was fire. He didn’t mean to upset her, to traumatize her like that but he knew that’s what he did. He didn’t want to push it, so he just started the car and drove off in silence.

It was a long drive especially when neither of them is talking. The only sound there they could hear was the sound of traffic outside and the soft whirr of the radio.

Finally, they got to her house. She reached for her things by her feet, but he grabbed her hand to stop her. She took her hand away though she didn’t try to take her things again, or attempt to leave.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” He looked at her.

He placed a hand over her knee, and this time she didn’t flinch. It was like she just subconsciously wanted to give him a chance.

“I’m just…I don’t know what came over me.” He continued, “I’m just so mad at you…I mean…”

“Don’t you think that was a little too much?” She asked, “I was just trying to tell you…”

“I know what you’re trying to tell me!” He said, “I just…I don’t understand why you have to go to Italy! You can get that education here, you don’t have to be so far away. I mean, that’s not just another state, that’s another freaking country across the ocean!”

“Randy…There’s just a lot of things that depends on it…It’s not just for me.” She said, “But if you tell me not to…”

“If I tell you not to go, you won’t?” He said, “Come on, Ally, I told you just stop with this bullshit already. I’m not an idiot! How long are you gonna pretend you haven’t already decided to go? Just admit that you want to go.”

There was silence then. In her mind, she tried to come up with something to say to defend herself. But then, what he said was hurtful and it made her think if he couldn’t even at least try to understand where she was coming from, why should she bother to explain?

“You’re right...I do…” She said. I was just hoping…I was hoping you love me enough to tell me not to go.

She wanted to say it, out loud, to him. But what difference would it make?

“Good night.” She said as she grabbed her things and got out of the car.

And, as the car door closed, it all came down to him at once.

Randy didn’t know what he was supposed to feel at that instance, or how to react. It was like everything was happening in slow motion yet he couldn’t move along with it. He felt like he got caught in his own trap, like the World’s collapsing around him.

Was that a break up?

That was the only thing his mind kept repeating.

He decided to drive over to their house, and spend the night in his parent’s basement. He looked at the watch on the dash and saw that it was a already quarter after one, and he realized everyone in the house must already be sleeping, so instead, he just slept in his car.

I'm not the kind to tell you lies
But the truth is you've been hiding from it too...
I see the end sneaking in behind your eyes
Saying things no words could ever do...

-----------------------------------------------------

The next morning, at Ally’s house…


Ally went downstairs to have breakfast. To her surprise, both her parents were there. It was a rarity that probably only happens twice in a month.

Neither of them seem to want to spend a day at home when the other was there. But this time, they were both there in the dining room for breakfast.

She sat down, finding it still odd because they weren’t talking. She didn’t feel like talking either, after what just happened with her and Randy the night before.

Her mom brought in the food from the kitchen and they started to eat, like they used to—until it started to unravel right before her eyes.

“What time did you come home last night?” Alice asked Henry.

“I…just came home this morning.” Henry said, through his coffee.

Alice didn’t say anything, but her demeanor said everything—the faintest smirk and slightest shake of her head tells a lot about her disgust at his audacity. Henry gave an annoyed sigh in return. But he had to say something too.

“You should be happy I came home.” He said, “Don’t act like you’re better. You didn’t come home until one in the morning.”

It wasn’t Alice though. It was Ally who came home that time. The next door neighbor who told Henry just thought it was Alice. She tried to tell them, to clear things up, but she couldn’t interject.

“Dad…”

“What in the blue hell are you talking about?” Alice said, “I was here the whole night!”

“Oh? Who did the Phil see come home that time then?” He said, sarcastically. “Don’t lie, sweetheart.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She said, “Don’t you turn this on me!”

“Mom..”

“Don’t portray yourself like you’re holier than thou.” Henry said. “At least I know I was at work. Where were you?”

“At work? Really, Henry?” Alice said, “Who are you kidding?”

“Can you just stop fighting for a second and listen to me!” Ally finally said.

She said it louder than she thought she did and both her parents looked at her in shock. They didn’t expect her to yell at them.

“What is it, honey?” Alice said.

“It wasn’t mom Mr. Sanders saw last night.” She said to her dad. “It was me.”

“You came home at one in the morning?” Alice said, “Where did you go?”

“Fantastic.” Henry said, “You’re such a great mother, you don’t even know where your child was!”

“They told me they were doing a project across town!” Alice said, “I thought she was already in her room when I came home!”

“Please, stop!” She said, “I was with Randy! He had a show across town and I went to watch.”

“Randy?” Henry exclaimed, “You’re still hanging out with him?”

“Of course they’re still hanging out, he’s her boyfriend!” Alice said, “He’s been for the last couple of years. You’d know that if you actually paid attention to your daughter!”

Henry ignored her and instead faced Ally, “I don’t want you hanging out with him anymore.” He said, “You’re not seeing that boy anymore, you understand me?”

“You don’t have to tell me that.” She said, looking down on a random space on the table.

“What do you mean, honey.” Alice asked.

Her motherly instinct must have sensed something happened and it concerned her.

“I’ve made my decision.” As softly as she said it, the cracks in her voice was still audible.

“I’m going to Italy.”

I wanna tell you so, before the Sun gets dark
How to hold my heart, cause I don't wanna let go, let go
let go of you....

------------------------------------------------------------

Randy was awoken buy his mom knocking on the window of his car. She was happy to see him, until he saw how he was. She knew something was wrong even when he doesn’t say anything at all.

She asked him to drive her to the hospital where she works. He passed by Ally’s house on his way, hoping to catch a glimpse, but he had no luck.

His mom was observing him the whole time. Only until they reach the hospital’s parking lot did she ask him what was wrong.

“Thanks.” She said. Randy just nodded. “You wanna walk me inside?”

“No.” He said, simply.

“Okay, there’s definitely something wrong.” She said, “Do you want to talk about it? Did you see Ally yesterday?”

“Yes, and it didn’t go too well.” He sighed.

He proceeded to tell his mom everything that happened, what he and Ally talked about. Although he left a few details out, like how he had lost his cool and left her at the diner or how he almost got in a fight when he came back to get her.

Elaine listened intently to him, and from what he was saying, he knew that he was partly or even mostly to blame for what happened. But he also blames Ally.

“I mean, it’s obvious she wants to go.” He said, “Why does she have to pretend like she doesn’t? I’m not stupid.”

“Maybe she’s not pretending, did you think about that?” Elaine asked, “Maybe she meant what she said that she’d stay if you tell her to.”

“No, ma…She shouldn’t have to second guess it if it depended on me. She knows I don’t want her to…” He said, “I could see it in her eyes, she wants to go.”

“Did she tell you what her reason was to want to go?” She asked.

Randy was silent for a moment, trying to think if she did or not. Then he realized he never really did give her a chance to say.

“I didn’t let her.” He said, just barely above a whisper. “I didn’t even give her a chance to tell me…”

“Maybe you should have.” Elaine said, touching his arm. “Maybe she’s doing it for her family.”

He suddenly remembered Ally mentioned something like a lot of thins depended on it, and that it wasn’t only for herself. He didn’t understand what she meant then, and he didn’t really want to listen.

But now that he’s thinking more clearly, he figured his mom may have a point. She may also know something.

“Wait…do you know about it, and you’re not telling me?” He asked.

Elaine did know about it. Alice had confided in her about it, and although she did not want to meddle in Randy’s business, she figured it would help if he knew what the situation is exactly. So, hesitant as she was, she told him everything she knows.

I don't wanna let go, let go...
I don't wanna let go, let go....of you
I don't wanna let go...

[Annaya]

Chapter 17

"Bags are packed, car is parked
But what kind of heart doesn't look back?
At the comfortable glow from the porch,
the one that I'll still call yours..."


It had been more than a couple of weeks since Randy came home to St. Louis. He hadn’t spoken to Ally since they last saw each other. The first few days, Ally didn’t want to speak to him so she wasn’t answering the phone when he calls so he stopped.

There were so many times he wanted to pick up the phone and call her, but he doesn’t know what to say to her. He felt like a hole was being slowly dug in his heart, every single day that he doesn’t get to talk with her. He has no idea what’s been going on with her.

He would ask his mom when he calls home how she’s doing, but he can’t really expect his mom to watch Ally for him, or to know everything. Perhaps, it was his pride that made him ask his mom not to tell Ally that he asked about her, if she asks.

Thinking back, he doesn’t know why he did that either. It was a pretty stupid thing, he reckons, but that’s done now. He misses her, and he misses her bad. He really wanted to tell her how sorry he was for what happened—for what he did.

He felt even worse about it after his mom told him that the only reason she was even really considering moving and going to college in Italy was because of her family. That she was hoping moving to a new place would make them closer.

At least that was what her father told her. Elaine told him Alice said if it wasn’t for it, Ally wouldn’t even be dreaming of leaving him. She felt it was her responsibility to help her parents fix their relationship. It’s a burden she shouldn’t be obliged to carry, let alone by herself.

Ally has been missing him too. She first few days that she had eluded his calls was one of the hardest times for her, until he stopped calling. She figured he’s given up, and it just hurt her even worse. Her pride just won’t let her though.

She felt like she’s given him everything, and she was not receiving as much and it wasn’t fair to her. She wanted to try and keep ignoring him and to not think about him for spite, but she couldn’t keep it up for much longer, and had to ask his mom about him.

They bumped into each other at the grocery one day, because Alice asked Ally to do it for her. Elaine could feel from the way Ally asked about Randy how sad she was about what they’ve come to. Even though Ally tried to hide her feelings from her, she knew.

“Ally, hi!” Elaine said when she saw her.

“Mrs. Orton, hi!” Ally said.

“Mrs. Orton?” Elaine said, “Are we back to being formal?”

“I’m sorry, I mean…Aunt Elaine.” Ally smiled.

“Much better.” Elaine said, clinching her arm and walking with her. “Where’s your mother?”

“She’s working on some papers we’re going to need for…” Her voice trailed, “the move to Italy.”

“Oh.” Elaine said, “So…you really are going then?” Ally didn’t speak, but her sigh told Elaine the answer.

“Have you talked to Randy?”

“No…umm…we haven’t talked since…since he was last in town.” She said, sadly.

“I would tell you not to go…for my son’s sake. But in the end it’s still your decision." Elaine said, "You shouldn’t let anyone dictate to you, especially since it’s your future.”

Ally didn’t talk for a while. There were so many things going through her mind that she couldn’t even articulate. She wanted to ask Elaine to help her, to ask Randy to stop her from leaving.

In her mind, even if everything was set for their departure, if Randy would just tell her to stay, she wouldn’t leave.

After everything, that was all she still wanted him to do. She just wants him to tell her not to go, not to leave him, to stay with him. But her pride won’t let her ask Elaine to do that. It has to come from him, without anybody telling him to.

Elaine could sense her hesitations though.

“Are you okay, honey?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Ally said, “H-how’s Randy doing?”

“Well, he’s alright as far as I know.” Elaine said, “He was pretty beaten up from the last match he had. It was a hardcore match, is what it was.”

“Oh. He does like hardcore.” She said, listlessly. Then suddenly realizing how what she said sounded. “Wrestling, I mean, hardcore wrestling. I-is he okay though? Nothing broken?”

“Just a few bruises as far as he told me.” Elaine said, stifling her smile. “He misses you. He told me not to tell you, but he won’t know I did anyway.”

That made Ally smile at least, and even though she didn’t say a thing Elaine knew she feels the same way.

“Maybe you should talk with him.” She said, “He’d wants to call you, but he’s afraid you’d reject his calls again.”

She pursed her lips, thinking about whether she would have if he calls again. “Tell him to call me. I won’t reject it.”

“Alright, I’ll tell him next time he calls.” Elaine said, “So, when are you supposed to leave for Italy?”

“Week after graduation.”

“But that’s two weeks from now…”

Ally sadly nodded.

--------------------------------------------------------

"All those words came undone,
And now I'm not the only one
Facing the ghosts that decide
If the fire inside still burns..."


It was a Wednesday night and Ally was busy packing some more stuff she was going to take to Italy, when their phone downstairs rang. It was her Alice who answered, and she called her downstairs.

“Who is it?” Ally asked, as she came down the stairs.

“It’s Randy.” She said.

“Oh.” She thought about it for a second before deciding to take the call. “Thanks mom.”

She sat at the foot of the stair and waited until Alice left for the kitchen, before she talked.

“H-hello?”

“Hey.” Randy said, softly. “H-how are you?”

“I’m fine.” She said, “How are you?”

“Could be better.” He sighed.

He talked slowly, trying to come up with things to say. Before he called, he had so much he wanted to say, but now they were all gone.

Damn it, Randy! Now’s the time to speak! Say something! Randy yelled at himself in his head.

“I just…wanted to hear your voice.” He said, “We haven’t talked in almost three weeks.”

“I miss you.” She whispered.

She said it so softly that Randy almost didn’t hear. It almost breaks his heart to hear her say it the way she did. But he didn’t say it back.

Not because he didn’t miss her, God only knows how much he does that talking on the phone isn’t merely enough.
He didn’t want to seem weak.

He doesn’t know or fully understand how exactly saying those words would make him seem weak, but that’s what he felt. Maybe he just didn’t want to fight the inevitable because he knows it’s a losing battle.

“So, my mom tells me you’re all set for Italy.” He said, playing it cool like only he can. Perhaps it was his defense mechanism, to try not to look so vulnerable. “Guess you made up your mind, huh?”

He hit his forehead with the base of his palm for saying that, especially when she didn’t respond. He knew it was a stupid thing to say.

“So…when’s your flight?”

“Next Friday.”

“Already?”

“Yeah, there’s like an integration class I have to attend before school starts.” She said.

“Right, right…” Randy said, “Well, good luck with that.”

“You’re really not gonna stop me?” She asked questioningly. “You’re really just gonna let me go?”

“I can’t stop you.” He said, “Ally, it’s your choice. You know what you should do. You can’t depend it on me.”

Elaine had told him everything. He knows she’s doing it for her family. He knows it wouldn’t be fair to make her chose between him and her family, and he doesn’t want to do that to her.

It has to be her decision. It’s her life, she has to choose where she wants to go, who she wants to be with.

“What about us?” She asked. “What’s gonna happen to us?”

“I don’t know, Ally. I don’t know.” He said, “I don’t have all the answers.”

That was the question both of them had at the back of their heads.

What about them?

What about their relationship?

Every moment she was spending there talking to him on the phone she could feel her heart breaking and all she wants to do was run up to her room and cry.

Neither of them said anything for a couple of minutes, just listening to each other’s breath. Perhaps they were both trying to figure out what to say to each other, but the silence was just making things more awkward.

Ally wished she was in his arms, to hold her, and tell her to stay with him instead. In her head she would give it all up to stay, if only he would tell her to.

But Randy is too proud to have to tell her that. He wants it to come from her, from her own free will.

Both of them could feel the inevitable end, but neither of them wants to be the one to address it.

“So…graduation’s coming up, huh?” He said, in a desperate attempt to keep the conversation going.

He wanted to talk to her longer, to hear her voice because he felt it might be the last time he would.

“Yeah, it’s in a couple of days.” She said, trying to compose herself. “Will you…will you be here? I mean, can you come?”

“I’m not sure.” He said, “I-I want to but I might be busy.”

“I see…” She said, her lips quivering. “Listen, I uh…I still have a lot of stuff to do. I should…I should go.”

“Oh…okay.”

“I guess this is goodbye then.”

She wanted to say, to tell him that she loves him, but she bit down on her lip to stop herself from doing so. She knew her tears weren’t going to be held back if she did, and she didn’t want him to hear her crying.

“Yeah…goodbye.”

Goodbye.

When he heard himself say it, it felt like a bullet went through his heart. Is that really it? Is it really over now? He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even breathe.

With his silence, thinking he had nothing else to say, she put the phone down.

"All I have, all I need, he's the air that I would kill to breathe...
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something...
Out of breath I am left hoping someday, I'll breathe again..,"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Open up next to you, and my secrets become your truth
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view..."

Graduation came and Ally never even saw Randy’s shadow. She didn’t hear from him again either after the last time they talked. Days went by quickly and everyday she tells herself to accept what’s become of them, even though her heart was still holding on to a last hope that he would stop her from leaving.

Outside, she was the picture of control and calmness. She wanted to show everyone that she had accepted her fate; that she has moved on.

But late at night, when she’s alone in her bed, she still cries silently. Her heart longing for the only boy she had ever loved. Loved from the very beginning. Loved for the longest time.

Finally, it was the day of their departure. The atmosphere at their house was pretty busy. Her mom and dad were doing some last minute stuff.

Ally was a total opposite though. She was outside on their lawn, sitting at the old swing set, looking out the way to Randy’s house.
They would be leaving for the airport shortly, and soon after that, they will be up in the air on the way to Italy.

She couldn’t help but reminisce about the times when she and Randy were still very young, bantering and fighting all the time on that swing set. He was a little imp, and he would tease her and trick her, and wouldn’t leave until he’s made her cry.

Times have changed, and yet, there she was, on the verge of tears and he’s still the reason for it. Only difference is, now she wants him to be there. But she knows that no matter how hard she cries that he wasn’t going to come.

In her head, she questioned everything about what their relationship has become. She was sure she tried her hardest to make it work, but she supposed the distance between them had set them apart.

She thought perhaps that’s why he won’t—doesn’t want to tell her to stay. Maybe she just wasn’t that important to him anymore. Maybe, she thought, he’d gotten used to not having her around. He seems to be doing well despite it.

She thought perhaps she should learn to live without him in her life too. The longer she thinks about it, the worse it made her feel almost to the point of physically feeling the pain inside her chest.

“Ally?”

She looked up, almost startled, when Alice called her. “Yeah, mom?”

“You should bring your luggage downstairs.” Alice said, “We’ll be leaving in a few.”

“Okay.” She sighed, deeply, as she wiped the tears forming at the corner of her eyes. “I’ll be right there.”

“Is there something wrong?” Alice asked, coming closer. Ally didn’t speak. She just stared down to the ground, but Alice knew how she must be feeling. “Are you waiting for Randy?”

“He’s not coming.” She said, firmly.

“You can still back out of this, honey.”

“No, mom.” Ally said, “I’m going. I’m gonna do this. I’ve made up my mind.”

And with another deep sigh, she got up from the swing and went to get her stuff. She meant it. She has made her mind up.

"Hang my head, break my heart, built from all I have torn apart
And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore..."

-------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile…

Randy was in his car, driving along the freeway back to St. Louis. He’s been on the road for a couple of hours now and his heart was racing as much as the piston in his car was.

The night before, he wasn’t even able to sleep thinking about it, but at the last moment, he decided to go—thanks to John Cena.

It was around seven in the morning, and normally, he would still be in bed. But since he couldn’t sleep, he decided to go to the gym at OVW to sort of take his mind off of things. When he got there, John was there too.

“Orton?!” John said when he saw Randy. “The f**k are you doing here at this time?”

“Working out, obviously.” Randy said, “It’s a gym, after all.”

John just rolled his eyes. By now, he’s used to Randy’s sarcasm. They’ve been working together for a while, and that required long hours of rehearsing and practicing spots with each other.

That’s also the reason why he knew something was wrong, especially when Randy accidentally dropped a dumbbell. His concentration was obviously off.

“f**k!” Randy exclaimed, as he kicked a chair.

He closed his eyes and threw his head up, with his hands on his waist as he tried to calm himself down.

“Hey, you okay, man?” John asked.

“Mind your f**kin’ business Cena.” Randy said, irritably.

“Alright, fine!” John said, “I’m just trying to be nice here. But go ahead, be an ass. It’s what you’re good at. I don’t know what people see in you, especially that nice little girlfriend of yours. I mean, really, how the f**k did a sweet, pretty girl like that end up with a jerk like you?”

“It’s Ally.” Randy said.

“Yeah, I know. That’s her name.” John said.

“No!” Randy sat down on a bench. Exasperated. “I mean Ally is my problem.”

“Oh.” John said, surprised that Randy actually gave him an answer.

“So…we’re actually gonna talk about this…emotional stuff…huh…kind of like bonding.”

“Sit the f**k down.” Randy said, “You asked me.”

“Right.” John took a chair and sat down then.

Randy told him what it was all about. It was kind of a release for him to be able to tell someone about everything that he was thinking, mainly because John isn’t emotionally invested in any way in his and Ally’s situation and so he was able to bring new light to it.

“Listen man, here’s the thing; you’ve always seem to me like the guy who won’t rest until you got what you want. And with what you’ve told me, you want this girl. You don’t only want her, you love her. Otherwise this wouldn’t be such an issue. You’ve known each other what? Like, five years?”

“Ten years.” Randy said. As he said that, his eyes grew even sadder.

“Ten years? Wow! Shit, man. That’s a really long time.” John said.

“Yeah…”

“Well, anyway, back to my point. You can’t just let this one go.” John said, “If she said all it takes for her to stay is for you to tell her to, that’s gotta mean something, right?”

“I-I guess…”

“So go after her! Go after what you want, go after what you love!” John said, “Follow your heart, man!”

Randy kept looking at John intently as he was saying his piece, while nodding his head. “Man…has anyone told you you’re by far the cheesiest person ever?”

“No…no, no one has.” John said, “But f**k you man.”

“You’re welcome.” Randy joked. “No, seriously, man…thanks.”

“Yeah, well…” John said, “It’s gonna be for nothing if you’re not gonna do anything about it.”

“What do you mean?” Randy asked.

“What do you mean what do I mean?” John said, “Get the f**k out of here and go see your girlfriend while you still got time! If you leave now, you can still make it to St. Louis.”

Randy looked at his watch, calculating the time it would take him to get home if he left Louisville at that moment.

Then all of a sudden, he grabbed his gym bag and took off. He didn’t even bother to take a shower.

“Hey, what I am gonna say if they look for you?” John asked.

“Tell ‘em I’m following my heart!” Randy yelled.

[Annaya]

Chapter 18

“MOM! Finally!” Randy exclaimed.

He’d been trying to call his mom on the cell phone for the last ten minutes as he was driving. He would have reached Ally’s house by then if he didn’t get tangled in traffic. He knew what time her flight is and he’s quickly losing hope that he’d reach her in time.

“What is it?” Elaine said, suddenly nervous because of how Randy sounded like. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, mom.” He said, maneuvering the car with one hand. “But I won’t be for long if I lose her. So you gotta stop her for me!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ally! You gotta stop her!” He said, “I’m on my way there now, and I’m gonna tell her, ask her, beg her to stay with me.”

“Oh, honey, they just left a few minutes ago.” Elaine said.

“What?! Oh shit!” Randy dropped the phone because he had to use both hands to steer clear of another car.

When he was clear, he pick the phone up again, and heard his mom yelling.

“Are you okay?! Randy, talk to me!” Elaine yelled.

“I’m okay, mom!” He said, “I’m okay….ah…alright…I’m just gonna head to the airport, mom.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Elaine asked.

“Yeah, mom, I’m sure.” He said, “I’ll call you later when I get her.”

“Alright, you be careful and don’t get in an accident!” She said, “And good luck. I hope you succeed in making her stay.”

“Thanks mom.”


He clicked the phone off tossed it to the passenger seat. He turned on the next exit and mapped his way to the airport in his head. It was a good thing that he’s memorized the short cuts getting to the airport from all the travelling his dad does.

He put all his concentration on getting there and getting there safely. There was nothing that was going to get in his way to All—nothing except, maybe, Ally herself.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, you can let this one go,
You can try on your own,
But I want you to be here...

Ally and her parents were at the airport waiting to get on their flight. There was uncomfortable silence between the three of them during the drive to the airport, and it continued until there.

Perhaps they were all nervous with the big change the three of them are facing. Living in a new place where no one knows them, and barely speak the local language.

Ally was especially nervous. Even though she said she had made up her mind about leaving, there was still a little doubt at the back of her mind about how she was going to cope not having Randy in her life.

She still wants to be with him. She remembered all the plans he had for the two of them. Having a family, a house they can call their own, just by themselves. She still wanted all of that too.

She felt herself about to cry, and so she excused herself.

“I’m…just gonna go the ladies room.” She said, before she ran off.

When she was gone, her parents started to talk.

“Do you really want to leave?” Alice asked.

“We’re already here.” Henry answered.

“You didn’t answer the question.” She retorted. “You’re only thinking about yourself! Don’t you see what’s happening to your daughter? She’s so broken.”

“What are you talking about? She’s made her decision. She wants to go!” Henry said, “Stop blaming me for everything! I’m not just doing this for myself. I’m doing this for her, for us!”

“For us? Do you really think that moving will solve our problems?” Alice said, “Henry this family is broken, you can’t fix it anymore. You broke us. You broke us when you had an affair with that…”

“It happened once!” Henry said, “Alice, this is not the place and time to discuss this!”

“And when is the right time? When we get to Italy? When there’s no turning back for any of us, especially for your daughter who clearly does not want to leave! You are taking her away from everything and everyone she loves!”

“Sacrifices are needed to get to anywhere in life! That’s what she needs to realize!” Henry said, “She can get through it, all of it! She needs to be tough and independent.” Henry argued, “She needs to learn to make it on her own without anyone’s help, just like I did!”

“She’s not you!” Alice said, “She actually has a heart! And right now it is breaking, and if you can’t see that, then you are blind!”

“It’s not going to kill her! This will make her tough, and learn to stand on her own two feet.” Henry said, “This is what she’s always wanted. Don’t you remember when she was little? She wanted to go to Europe, and learn about art, and work in museums. That was her passion! I’m giving her that chance now. "

"She just doesn’t realize that, that’s why she’s acting this way." He said, "Once we get there, all of that will come to her and she’ll see it and she’ll work to realize her dreams. She’ll forget everything about this place. People change.”

“That’s right.” Alice said, “People change. Maybe that’s not her dreams anymore, you ever think about that?”

Henry was going to say something more to defend his side, but then he saw Ally standing not too far from them and he stopped.

“Ally?” He exclaimed.

She was standing there, as if she’d seen a ghost.

“Ally, honey, are you okay?” Alice asked.

But she didn’t hear her at all. She wasn’t even looking at her parents. She was looking past them, above their heads in fact.

“Randy…” She said.

He was standing a couple of feet behind her parents. And he heard everything they were talking about. He stood there, staring at her too, breathing heavily because he was running around looking for her.

Alice and Henry looked behind them and saw him. Alice was happy to see him. Perhaps she thought he would be able to stop what’s about to happen.

Henry was not at all happy though.

“What the hell are you doing are?” He asked.

“I just want to talk to your daughter, sir.” Randy said, never once taking his eyes off of Ally.

“You can’t talk to her.” Henry said, “We’re leaving now.”

“Henry, just shut up.” Alice said, “Let them talk. Let her decide and pick what she wants.” She turned to Randy, “Go.”


"And oh, now the signs are all quiet,
And the streets are all tired,
And I want you to be here..."


Randy walked over to Ally. She didn’t even bat her eyes as he did. Her heart was screaming for him, and it felt like it wanted to burst out of her chest. But instead, she just stood there calmly and steadily as she could.

“What are you doing here?” She asked. Her voice was shaking and just barely above a whisper.

As calm as she was outside, her mind was in a whirlwind. She can’t figure out what to think or what to say or what to do. She wanted to hug him and kiss him, but she couldn’t. She doesn’t know if that’s what he would want too.

Please, just tell me not to go. She thought to herself. Randy, please, just take my hand and take me away from here.

“I just ah…I wanted to see you.” Randy said.

There were so many things he wanted to tell her on his way there. He had made up a long speech in his head that he planned to tell her to convince her to stay, but all that evaporated when he saw her parents and heard what they were talking about.

He knew about Ally’s dreams of going to Europe and studying arts and all of that. She always talked about it, dreamily, when they were kids, way before either of them knew what love was. When everything was simple and nothing else mattered, Ally had this whole plan of how she wanted to live her life. What right has he to stop her from claiming it?

“Did you want to tell me something?” Ally asked, almost like she was begging him to say something.

He could see her eyes beginning to water, as he looked into them. Her eyes, her beautiful eyes that tells a thousand stories and he was part of it all. When he stares into them, he always felt like that—loved, wanted, happy, like her world revolved around him.

He could never figure out how he could make her feel that way too, to sort of make her feel like she was the most important person in the world—in his world.

He loves her very much, but he always felt like he wanted to do more for her, like she gives more than he does in the relationship. And so he thought this was his chance to give her something back, to give her her dreams.

Sacrifices are needed, as Henry said.

“Yeah…ah…” He took a deep breath.

He was looking at her but not into her. He just couldn’t do it.

“I can’t let you go…” He said, “…without saying good bye.”

It hurt him to say that when all he wanted to say was for her to stay. It felt like his whole world went silent and all he could hear was his heart beating against him. He could literally feel as if his whole chest is on fire.

Her heart sank right then, and she felt like it was falling from a thousand feet in the air and crashing into a million-billion tiny pieces. She struggled to maintain her composure, but she felt like the air were sucked out of the room and could barely breathe.

“Oh.”

That was all she could say. She clenched her fists as if she was holding to something invisible that was keeping her from falling apart in front of him. She didn’t even hear the call to board their plane.

“Ally, that’s us.” Henry said, “Let’s go.”

She looked at her parents. Her dad had the most solemn expression on, and her mom looked so sad. She turned to Randy, but didn’t look at him, at his face, at his eyes. She couldn’t.

“Well…ahm…I have to go.” She said, her voice all broken up.

“Yeah.” Randy said, “You’re gonna call me, right?”

“Sure.” She said.

“I’ll wait by the phone.” He whispered, but she didn’t hear him anymore.

She turned away from him and started walking towards her parents—taking careful steps and careful breaths. Each step she makes away from him felt like something was ripping at his heart. But he controlled himself. He was not going to ruin this chance for her, to start over, to fix her family, and to fulfill her lifelong dream.

At least that’s how he justified it in his head, even though his heart just wanted him to scream for her name, to tell her to turn around, to come back and never ever leave.

Ally took her bags and followed behind her parents. Her steps were slow, like how her heart was beating. She felt like life was being slowly taken from her and she wanted to turn around and run back to Randy.

Just call my name, Randy. Just call me back. Just tell me to stay. Please.

She kept repeating it in her head, wishing he would do it.

But he didn’t, and right then, as she stepped in to the long walk towards the plane’s door her heart gave up.


"And oh, now I try to be quiet
But this heart is on fire,
And I want you to be here"


Outside, Randy walked listlessly around the airport towards the exit. He couldn’t even count or cared how many times he bumped into other people. He found his car and got in and just stared blankly into space.

What just happened? What did I just do?

He asked himself.

Just that morning he was full of spirit, full of hope and desire to get Ally back. And then he got that chance and he let it slip away. He sat there in the darkness quietly.

The Sun was starting to set in the horizon, just like his heart felt like its fire was dying and succumbing into darkness.

He saw a plane take off and figured that it must be Ally’s plane, and he just felt like he died right then. And he finally let go of himself, with the noise from the airport drowning out his cries.

He consoled himself by telling himself that he did the right thing, giving her a chance to pursue her dreams and make a better life for her own. A life that’s better than what he could offer.

For days and weeks, he longed and missed her. He was always quiet and preferred to be alone. He would always be caught checking out his cellular phone, waiting, wishing she would call like he asked her too.

But she never did. Slowly, he began to accept that it was never going to happen, and he told—taught himself to move on, in whatever way he can.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Several months after Ally and her family moved to Italy, and she seems to have gotten used to her new life. It hasn’t been easy on her at the beginning; she had a rough time getting over her heart ache.

But she told herself, what doesn’t kill her will make her stronger. At least that’s what she thinks was happening to her—getting stronger, and not just getting detached from everything else other than her studies.

She started going to the art school after a couple of months upon getting settled, and she put all her concentration on it. Soon after starting school, she made a few friends and became one of the notable students there.

Her professor, the one who was at her exhibit a year ago, took exception to her especially and had even offered her an internship.


Meanwhile, Randy’s career was starting to take off quite fast. It has only been a year and half since he started wrestling in OVW when he was called up to the WWE and started going on the road doing dark matches with a few of his batch mates.

In April 2002, he was called up to the main roster and made his debut to Smackdown, and as they say, the rest is history. He kept his focus on the business and never looked back.

Although, sometimes, when he passes by the place where he always takes her when they want to be alone, just looking at the St. Louis skyline, he still remembers Ally and wishes she was there with him.

------------------------------------------------------------------

A year after


“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Alice asked, stroking Ally’s cheek.

They’re at the airport that day because Alice was going to come back to the States. She was going alone though as Henry and she had come to terms with the end of their marriage several weeks ago. She wanted Ally to come along, but for some reason, she didn’t want to come.

“I’m sure mom.” Ally said. “Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

Alice sighed. It wasn’t because she was worried Ally can’t take care of herself. It was because of the changes she noticed in her. It was like she has become a completely different girl, and she knew it was because of what happened—of everything that’s happened.

She was still nice and soft-spoken, still the hard working, smart girl that is her daughter. But she had noticeably gotten cold and almost unfeeling.

Ever since that day she and Henry had parted ways, Ally had become almost void of emotions, of warmth. She would smile and laugh, but it felt robotic.

It’s like she cancelled everything out in her heart, and she could care less about anything.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

A month ago…


“Mom? Dad? What’s going on?”

Ally had just come home from a long day at school and as soon as she stepped in, she felt the tension in the room. There were luggage lined by the door and her parents were sitting on the sofa opposite each other, quietly.

“Ally, honey, take a seat please.” Alice said.

She already felt something was wrong, and it was gripping at her heart. She sat down between them, and there was an awkward silence that seems to throw her into some kind of vortex of emotions.

She felt like her world was crumbling, and the air sucked out of the room as her father explained to her what was happening, as her mother sat there crying silently.

Alice and Henry had a fight earlier, and subsequently have called it quits. It was a good thing that Ally wasn’t at home to witness it.

They told her they’ve tried to fix their marriage, but it’s just not working out. They just don’t love each other anymore.

In hear head, she was questioning everything. How could two people who have been together almost all their lives, who supposed to love each other just give up on themselves? She sacrificed so much just so they can have a chance, and for what? Why does love have to hurt so much? Why do people love if it doesn’t last?

Then just like that, all of a sudden, she cursed love out. She made a conscious decision, told herself just to stop caring. Perhaps, it was some kind of defense mechanism.

She’d been hurt so many times all because she loved too much. She couldn’t do it anymore, and turned her heart off.

“Fine.” She said, “Do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore.”

And then she stood up, went to her room and didn’t come out until the next day when she had to go to school. She didn’t cry, she fought all the feelings off.

She focused on herself and her goals and that’s all that mattered to her since then. It’s all about her now, and no one else.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Where are you going to stay?” Alice asked.

“Professor Salvatorre has offered me an internship…” Ally said, “And a place to stay in his home.”

“Are you sure that’s a good decision?” Alice asked.

“He’s harmless, he could be my grandfather. If that’s what you’re thinking.” Ally said, bluntly. “And I don’t care what people at school will say. It’s a good opportunity to learn the craft from him. He wants to mentor me, I’m not gonna say no.”

“Honey, I’m just worried…”

“There’s nothing to worry about.” She cut her off. “I’m an adult. It’s my decision, if something happens it’s my fault. You don’t have to blame yourself.”

“Honey…”

“I gotta go, mom.” Ally said. She kissed her on the cheek. “I got lots of stuff to do. Watch your stuff.”

And just like that, she turned and walked away. And Alice was left there, feeling guilty of what has become of her daughter.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Alice went back to St. Louis, but decided not to stay at their old house. There were far too many memories in there that she didn’t want to go back to. He and Henry had agreed to sell it. She didn’t even come to see it when it got sold.

Henry stayed in Italy for a few months, and then moved to Spain for a new job. He remained in contact with Ally, but not with Alice.

Ally did move in at her professor’s house in Milan that summer. He was very good to her, and treated her almost like his own daughter, teaching her everything he knows about his craft.

By the end of summer, his one and only son, Louis, came home. At the start he didn’t approve of Ally living there with him and his father.

But as he got to know Ally, he felt more comfortable with her and actually learned to admire her hard work and discipline. And as time went, he also came to admire her beauty.

He courted Ally, in romantic fashion. Took her out on dates, and gave her flowers and gifts. If it were two or even a year ago, she would have fallen for him and he’d have gotten a shot with her. But, this is a new Ally, and she doesn’t fall for those things anymore.

It didn’t discourage him though and kept pursuing her, until she got tired of turning him down and just told him bluntly that she wasn’t into relationships. In which he responded by telling her he will wait until she is.

As cold and distant Ally was, Louis was caring and warm. He was very supportive and understanding of her, and perhaps that was what Ally needed--someone who genuinely cared for her, and not ask for anything in return.

It melted her armor a bit, and she let him in, although not completely. She doesn’t know if she could ever let anyone completely in her life again, after all the heartache she’s been through.

[Annaya]

Chapter 19

Should've kissed you there, I should've held your face
I should've watched those eyes, instead of run in place
I should've called you out, I should've said your name
I should've turned around, I should've looked again


September 2002


Randy was home in St. Louis, resting after having surgery for an injury he sustained during one of his wrestling matches on Smackdown.

He hadn’t been back for a long time, but his mom didn’t want him to stay in his apartment in Louisville by himself. Being a nurse, she of course, wanted to take care of her son.

That was when he met Samantha. They met at a bar called Margarita Mama’s and have gone on a couple of dates since. It was all going well in his personal life.

He was moving on and doing great. He barely ever thinks of Ally anymore too. But fate has a funny way of kicking you back down when you least expect it.

He was at a gas station, loading up his car when he saw a familiar face. He wasn’t quite sure it was who he thought it was, so he went and confirmed it.

“Excuse me.” He said, tapping lightly on the woman’s shoulder.

The woman turned around and immediate expression of recognition came over her face.

“Randy? Oh, my!” She said, “Is that you?”

“It is!” He beamed, “I knew it was you, I just had to check. You don’t look a day older than when you left, Mrs. Carson.”

She laughed, “Oh, you’re getting good at that flattery stuff huh? But Mrs. Carson?”

“I’m sorry, Aunt Alice.” Randy said. “But what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be in Italy.”

“Oh, I came back a while ago.” She said, “I couldn’t stay there anymore.”

“W-where’s Uncle Henry…and Ally?”

She smiled, as she expected him to ask about Ally. “Are you busy? It’s a long story…”

“I’m not busy…we could talk over coffee or something.” He said.

They ended up going to a nearby diner. There, Alice told Randy everything, starting from how Ally was like after they got there.

“She tried her best not to seem so depressed.” Alice said, “But I know. I could feel she missed you every day. She used to wear that high school ring you gave her in her necklace, and I always catch her looking at it at night.”

“She used to?” He asked, “She…doesn’t anymore?”

“No…ever since her father and I have separated…I didn’t see her wearing it anymore. I asked her about it, but she changes the subject.” She said.

She reached for Randy’s arm. “She’s really different than what you might remember, Randy. She’s not the same, and I can’t help but blame myself.”

“What do you mean?”

Alice told him about the changes that happened to Ally. How she thought what happened affected her. As she told him this, he couldn’t help but think about what could’ve happened if he took the chance and had told her to stay instead.

And as if to confirm what he was thinking, Alice told him something he wishes he had known before.

“I truly believe she would’ve been happier if she stayed here with you.” Alice said, “If she stayed, it wouldn’t have mattered so much that Henry and I are getting divorced. She would have you to support her, and comfort her like you always have.”

“She was always there for me, too.” Randy said, “Whenever I was losing hope, she was always there encouraging me.”

Alice took Randy’s hand. “She took her strength from you, you know. Whenever her father and I are having marital problems, she always ran to you. I know that.” She told him, “That’s why I always thought you two would end up together. You were all she needed…she loved you very much.”

“I loved her very much, too.” Randy said.

It made Alice smile. She could feel the sincerity in his voice when he said it, and she thinks, deep inside him, he still does.



Should've held my ground, I could've been redeemed
For every second chance that changed its mind on me
I should've spoken up, I should've proudly claimed
That oh my head's to blame, for all my heart's mistakes


“So…where is she now?” Randy asked.

“She’s in Milan right now.” She said, “She’s living in her professor’s house there, you remember him, he was here a couple of years ago when Ally had an exhibit.”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember him.” He said, “Old guy, gray hair, a bit thin. W-why is she living there?”

“He offered her an internship and she thought it was a good opportunity to learn.” Alice said, “There’s nothing to worry about, I guess. He seems nice from what she tells me. Treats her like his own child. Plus his son is living with them now. He’s nice too.”

“Oh…do you uhm…do you think you can give me her number?” He asked, “You know just, maybe I’d wanna check up on her sometimes…if that’s okay.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Alice smiled, “Of course it’s okay.”

Alice gave Randy Ally’s contact numbers as well as her address. He doesn’t actually know why he wanted it, or if he’s ever going to take a step and contact her. Suppose he just wanted to have some semblance of connection to her somehow.

“Well, I have to go.” Alice said, “I’m meeting my lawyer in half an hour.” She touched Randy’s arm. “It’s nice seeing you again, Randy. Say hi to your mom for me.”

“It’s nice seeing you too.”

He sat there at the diner for a few minutes after Alice had left, staring at the piece of paper where she wrote Ally’s contact numbers and address.

He folded it carefully then reached for his wallet and put it there, behind his picture. Then suddenly, his cell phone rang and that’s when he remembered something.

“Hey, Sam…”

“Hey, so…are you coming to pick me up or we‘ll just meet at the mall?”

“Uh…yeah, um…something came up and” He said, “…can I get a rain check?”

“Oh, umm…did something happen?”

“No, no…umm, I just…I just don’t feel well.” Randy said.

“I see. Well, that’s okay.” Sam said, “Feel better.”

“Yeah, thanks.”



And it's falling down, as you walk away
And it's on me now, as you go...
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I 'm staring at the mess I made
I 'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

-------------------------------------------------------------

In Milan…


“Alyssa! Alyssa, are you home?” Louis called excitedly as he came in the living room.

“I’m here.” Ally said from atop the stairs. “Something happened? You seem excited.”

“I am! Sit down with me.” Louis said, taking her hand and leading her to the couch. “I was shopping for a ring today when I saw a sign for a space for lease. I took a look and thought it would be perfect for your exhibit. The light was right, and the view from the window is perfect. You can see the plaza from there.”

“Wait, why were you shopping for a ring?”

Louis’ reaction made her sure of her suspicions. He wasn’t so much worried about getting caught though, as he gave her a little smile and just the tiniest hint of shock. Unfortunately for him, Ally was very serious about it.

“Louis, we’ve discussed this already.” She stood.

She was about to walk out on him, but he took a hold of her hand, gently, and made her sit back down. He was hurt, of course, at the reaction she made.

But he is adamant. There was nothing that would make him change his mind about her, not even Ally herself. He just needs to play things her way.

“Ally, Ally…” He said, “It’s not what you think. I’m not asking you to marry me.”

“What’s the ring for then?”

“Will you please sit down?” He asked, politely.

For the short time that he’s known Ally, she learned a lot about her. Perhaps it was because he has a knack in analyzing people, what makes them tick, what they are thinking. He knows that Ally’s resistance to commitments was brought about by what happened to her parents.

But he told himself he wasn’t going to give up on her. She was too special for him to allow her to close herself to love. He could see, into her soul, that she was capable of a great love. It wasn’t so much that he finds her a mystery to be solved, but more a treasure to be found.

“I just wanted to give you something special.” He said, as he took the velvet box out of his pocket. “…to remind you that I love you.”

Ally didn’t know what to say, or how to react. Is he expecting her to say she loves him back? Their relationship status may be more than friends now, but she can’t say she loves him.

She just doesn’t want to commit to anything because in her mind, it will all just end anyway.

“You don’t have to say anything back.” He turned her hand over, so her palm was facing upward. “And you don’t have to give me anything that you don’t want to.”

He placed the box on her hand. “When you’re ready, and I’m not rushing you at all, I want you to wear the ring inside this box.” He closed her hand on the box gently. “I told you before, I’m going to wait. I’m still willing to. I’ll wait for you forever if I have to.”

Ally isn’t really that coldhearted not to feel anything. She feels bad about how she’s treating Louis. She cares about him a lot. He’s been so very nice and sweet to her, and no matter how she portrays herself to be someone who has a stone cold heart, she had to admit that he means something to her.

“Okay.” She said.

It was all she could muster up to say. As hurt as he was, he accepts it without resentment.

“My father wants me to join him for his trip to Tokyo next week.” He said, changing the topic, in hope of alleviating the tension. “I don’t know if he has mentioned it to you?”

“Yeah, he has.” Ally said. “Have you decided if you’re going?”

“Yes, well…he wants me to look into the prospect of putting up a branch there, aside from accompanying him with the photo shoot, so I will be quite busy as well.” He sighed, “Will you be alright here, by yourself?”

She hesitated for a moment. She wondered how it would sound like to him, if she told him she didn’t want him to go. She hates being alone, because the memories have a way of creeping back in to her mind. But she didn’t want him to think she was being clingy.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” She said.

“Well, I have to go back to the studio.” He stood up, as did she. “I was just…really excited to give you that.”

She dropped her eyes and looked away, because she felt bad about what happened. But he kissed her on the forehead, as if to tell her it was alright.

“I’ll see you at dinner?” He whispered, “Don’t be late.” He smiled, before he left.

------------------------------------------------------

That evening, before Ally left the house to meet Louis, his father came to talk to her. She was putting about to leave when he knocked on her door.

“Professor, did you need anything?” She asked when she opened the door.

“I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes.” He said, “I know you’re meeting Louis for dinner, but I’m sure he won’t mind if you’re just a few minutes late.”

“I guess not.” She said. She came out of her room, and walked with the old man through the upstairs corridor. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Ally, you know that I am very fond of you.” He said, “I think you are a very nice young woman and very talented as well.”

“You never failed to compliment me with my work, yes.” She said.

She already got a feeling of what it was going to be about, but she humored him.

“I’ve treated you like my own daughter ever since you moved here.” He continued.

They were down the stairs by then, and he led her towards the door.

“But I love my son, too. And, I think that it is not unbeknownst to you that Louis is very much in love with you.” He said.

“I know that.” Ally said, “Professor…what are you trying to tell me?”

The professor smiled a little with her impatience. “I should cut through the chase…Don’t give him hope, if there’s nothing there.” He said, “Turn him down if you don’t love him—if you can’t love him. But don’t keep him hoping that this is going anywhere.”

Ally felt flushed. She didn’t look at it that way at all. Suppose, she was only thinking about herself that she didn’t see what she was doing to Louis.

“He’s a good man. He will get over it and he will forgive you eventually, if you are honest with him.” He said, “And I will not be mad at you at all.”

“I just…” She started to say.

She tried to explain herself, trying to find the words but she came up empty. Jean Luc realized then that it wasn’t that she didn’t love Louis. It was because she was confused and afraid of taking that step.

“I think I have confused you even more.” He said, taking Ally’s hand. “I apologize. It’s just the folly of an old man. You don’t have to act now, I am not rushing you. I understand matters like this…it needs time to think about how you really feel.”

She nodded in agreement. What else could she do anyway?

“Well, go on child.” He said, “I’ve already taken much of your time. He’s waiting for you. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

He left her there then, standing by the door, as he made his way to his office. And even though he took back what he said, it still planted thoughts in Ally’s head about the whole situation. Thoughts that bothered her the whole night through.

After dinner, Louis took her to the place he told her about earlier that day so she could see for herself if she likes it. The space was not very big, just enough to exhibit her 25-30 pictures she took over the last year. But she remained silent.

“Alyssa, is there something wrong?” Louis asked, “Are you not feeling well?”

“I’m alright.” She said, “Why do you ask?”

“You’ve just been so quiet the whole night.” He said, “Don’t you like the place?”

“What? No…no, I think it’s perfect…” Ally said, looking around, trying to look interested.

“Then it must be about what we’ve talked about this afternoon.” Louis sighed. He was calm, and his eyes were gentle but sad. “If it bothers you so much, please just forget about it…I won’t be angry…”

“No, no, Louis…” She walked towards him, and placed her fingers over his mouth softly to stop him from talking. “It’s not that.”

She took her hand off his lips, and cupped his face with both hands. “Louis, you have been nothing but kind to me. You’re always there to support me, and showed me nothing but love and respect.”

She looked at him, straight in the eyes. “If I’m ever going to open up my heart for anyone, it will be for you. I just…” She took a deep breath before she continued. “I just need more time…to think about things…and make sure that I’m ready.”

“Ally, like I told you…I’m willing to wait forever if I have to.” Louis said.

“No…you don’t have to wait that long.” She said, “When you come back from your trip…you will have my answer. I promise you that.”

He looked at her, with such loving and lively eyes, with his hope kept alive. It made her feel good, to have taken such a weight off of him.

“Thank you.” He said, “I mean…whatever answer will be…”

“Shh…” She said.

And she kissed him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

WWE HQ, Stamford, CT


“You wanted to see me?” Randy asked as he peeked into Vince’s office.

They called him from St. Louis and told him to come to the headquarters. He had his shoulder checked up by the company physician a week ago, and the results of his tests came in to the HQ that day.

“Orton! Come in.” Vince said. “Sit down.”

Randy sat down nervously. He hasn’t really talked with the boss much since he has been hired, mostly because Vince was one intimidating guy.

“Don’t be nervous, you’re not in trouble.” Vince said, “Not this time, anyway.”

“So…why did you want to see me?” Randy asked.

“Your results came back yesterday, and you’re not cleared yet.” Vince said, “Well, you’re not supposed to wrestle yet, but we think you should be visible already. Put you back in the flow of things slowly. We got plans for you, kid. Are you up to it?”

“Why yes, sir I am.” Randy said.

He was mildly surprised at what Vince said. But he knows what he’s capable of. He knows how good he is, and how good he still can be.

Hunter had approached him before he got injured to talk about forming a stable. He looked up to Hunter a lot, and for him to say that he thinks he’s the future of the business really played up to his self esteem.

“Good! That’s what I like to hear.” Vince said, “You’re coming on tour with the Smackdown brand to Europe next week. You’ll go right after Smackdown taping.”

“Next week?”

“Yes, next week?” Vince said, “You have a problem with that?”

”No, sir!” Randy said, “No problem at all.”


-----------------------------------------------------------