|
Post by Annaya on Jul 7, 2008 14:36:20 GMT 3
Chapter 27
October 15, 2005 9:17 pm Moscow, Russia
It was already dark outside when Marat came home to his apartment. He checked his cell phone for any messages…
for the 50th time that day, but there was nothing. At least none from whom he was waiting for. He let out a small sigh, and slid
the phone back to his jeans pocket. He took his key out the other pocket and slid it to the keyhole un-enthusiastically and
turned it. There was no sound of the lock clicking signifying it being unlocked. He wondered if he had left it open when he
left that morning. Tried to remember if he did as he let the door swing open in its own. He knew he locked it. He even
double-checked it lest he wants some crazy person messing with his properties. Not that it wasn’t already a mess to begin with,
but he didn’t want any of them ending up for bid in the Internet. Finally, he stepped in. Careful not to make any noise, so as not
to alert any intruder, if any was still inside. He imagined his apartment would’ve been ransacked, but as he moved further inside,
there was no sign of a robbery. Everything was at its proper place. Not the way he left it, but better. It looked like
somebody has cleaned his place up. He relaxed a bit as he came to a conclusion that his mom must’ve dropped by that
afternoon and cleaned up. Suddenly, his mobile phone rang.
It was the one he has been waiting for all day.
“Angela? Hey!” He said, trying not to sound excited but miserably failing.
“Hey, how are you?” She said on the other end.
“I’m good. Just got home, my apartment’s squeaky clean. Where are you? Are you at the airport?” He asked.
He walked to his room and kicked off his shoes.
“No, I’m…at home.” She said.
“Oh,” Marat said, his tone went lower as did his heart. “I thought you were coming back here the
other day.” He sat down on the edge of his bed. “I thought you might be…here already.”
“I know. Are you disappointed?”
He put his elbow on his knee and hand on the head, “Well, yeah. A little. So, when are you really coming back?”
“I’m not sure. Could be a while.” She said. She heard him sigh. “But, I have a surprise for you.”
“What is it?” He said, without real interest. He lay back on the bed, legs hanging over the edge.
“Close your eyes.” Angela told him.
“Okay.” He said, but didn’t do it.
“You didn’t close your eyes.”
“Ha ha…” he laughed without fervor. “All right, there, my eyes are closed.” He said, putting an arm on top of his eyes.
Angela sneaked out of the bathroom silently and walked towards Marat.
“Okay, you can open your eyes now…” she said on her mobile phone.
Marat lifted his arm off his eyes and opened them.
“Surprise!!” Angela said, beaming in front of him. His eyes grew wide in surprise and dropped his phone.
He couldn’t move for a second or two but he had a big grin on his face. Angela jumped into bed beside him and got on top of him.
“Did you like the surprise?” She said, playfully, like a little girl.
“Yeah!” Marat said, “But I thought you said you were at home?”
“I did. And I am. You…” She said, tapping her finger on Marat’s nose once, “You’re my home.” She told him,
touching his lips. He smiled.
“Welcome home, then!” He said, pulling her closer and kissed her. She put her arms around his neck. Then he
rolled her over to his side. They stopped kissing and just stared at each other for a few seconds. They looked intertwined
with their arms and legs wrapped around each other.
“Did you miss me?” She asked affectionately.
“You have no idea.” He said with the same adoration. “How about you?” He asked, stroking loose
strands of hair off her forehead.
“Immensely.” She said. “You really should do something about your hair soon.” She said, diverting the mood.
“What’s wrong with my hair?”
“There’s a lot of it?” She said, pulling his hair gently, playfully.
“Have you seen my father?” Marat said, “If I have his hair genes, there’s not gonna be a lot of it when I get older.”
“I don’t care. I’d still love you with no hair.” She said, pinching his nose.
He rewarded her with a kiss for that. He wanted to give more but she stopped him suddenly.
“What is it?”
“I’m…tired.” She said, “I cleaned up the whole place and I’m still a little jetlagged.” She lied. She wasn’t
really tired.
In the middle of it all, she felt woozy. Like she blacked out for just a couple of seconds. And that scared her.
“Of course.” He sighed. “All right, I’ll just clean myself up so we can sleep.” He said, and stood up.
After a few minutes he came back in. He jumped to bed and cuddled up. He fell asleep in a few minutes
with Angela wrapped in his arms. But she wasn’t really sleeping. She was thinking about why her mother was
acting the way she was when they already both know her real condition. It was weird. Unless her mom knew something
she didn’t. And she couldn’t help but link that to what happened earlier when she “blacked out”.
Manhattan New York
“How exactly are things gonna happen?” Maria asked Dr. Dane. They were in a corner table in the restaurant Maria
manages and co-owns.
“The symptoms are gonna show up one by one, but I cannot tell in which order and how soon.” Dr. Dane said,
“But if all the symptoms do show up…it means…” He could not finish his sentence. This has become for personal for him.
“There’s no way you can tell when she’s…when it’s going to happen?” Maria asked. The edges of her voice was so
broken, you could feel how her heart was crushing.
“I’m sorry.” Dr. Dane said. “Like I told you, the changes are over the charts. If we had only diagnosed this a
year ago,
we could’ve done something. If we are to do anything about it…if we want there to be at least a bit of chance to help her,
she has to want to help herself. She needs to be here.”
“You know how stubborn she is.” Maria said, shaking her head. “What symptoms are we talking about?” Maria asked.
“The most common is loss of appetite, dizziness, bleeding gums, nose bleeds…”
“I found a bloodied towel in her bathroom a few days ago.” Her expression got even more worried than she
already was. “Oh my God, Mark…”
“It doesn’t always happen in order…” Dr. Dane said, trying to calm her to no avail. “We won’t really be sure
unless she’s here.”
“She’s not going to come back. Not if she doesn’t want to.” Maria said.
“Then make her want to.” He told her.
She looked at him as if he had given her an answer. And perhaps he did. She was going to make her daughter
want to come home…even if it means being hated. That’s just the risk she had to take.
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Jul 14, 2008 18:01:05 GMT 3
Chapter 28
“Where did you say you were going, again?” Marat asked Angela as she was making herself up in front
of the mirror. He was still lying on the bed.
“Just buying some groceries. I want to make you something special tonight.” She winked.
“What time will you be done?”
“It’ll take less than an hour.” Then she turned around to look at him. “You’d probably still be there when
I get back!” She said, grinning.
“Funny. I’m meeting with Dima for brunch. Maybe you can meet us there?”
“Yeah, okay.” She packed her things in a small purse.
“Help me get up!” Marat said. She stood up and walked over to Marat, offering her hand. He pulled her
down towards him and hooked his arm around her shoulder, until they were just a few inches apart.
“You look beautiful.” He said, and kissed her. “I love you.”
“I love you more.” She said. “Now, let’s go…you still have to get dressed.!”
As Angela was grocery shopping, her phone rang. She didn’t even bother to look at the screen to see who
was calling. She assumed it was Marat.
“What? You miss me already?” She said.
“What did you expect?”
“Mom!” She said, almost dropping her phone out of surprise.
“Good. You still recognize my voice.” Maria said. It was obvious she was trying to control her emotions from
the sound of her voice. Angela didn’t talk. She didn’t know what to say.
“You have to come home at once.” Maria said finally.
“Mom, I already told you…I want to stay with Marat!” Angela said.
“No! You are coming home. If you care about him, you are coming home!” Maria said.
“What are you talking about? He’d want me to stay…he won’t want me to go…” She defended.
“I’m not talking about what he wants. I’m talking about if you want to see him suffer as you do in front of him.”
Maria said. There was no turning back now. She has to tell her daughter the dreaded truth. “Angela, listen to me. You are
dying. You don’t have long to live.”
“But the doctor said I’m okay, the cancer is gone and I’ve been taking medications…”
“You have less than three months!” She cut her off. “If you don’t come home…If you don’t come home, you are
going to die. Slowly.” Maria said. Her voice controlled, but her tears on the other end cannot be controlled. “Tell me, do you
want him to see you like that? Don’t you remember how you wanted to protect him from this, all those years ago when you
first had cancer? You knew it was gonna affect him. That’s why we kept it a secret from him. You didn’t want to distract him
from pursuing his career.” She paused. “If you…if you die, it’s going to break him. I know, because…because I was broken
when your father died. Think about it.”
“You lie.” Angela said. “I don’t believe you. I can’t believe you would say anything just to keep me away from him.
Goodbye mother.”
Did she really not believe her mother? Or she just didn’t want to believe her? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the café where Marat and Dmitry were having brunch…
“Man, I really wish you can join the team.” Dmitry said, “I mean you have more experience than any of us. Plus, I feel more
confident when you’re around.”
“Man, you talk like you’re in love with me.” Marat said, suddenly bursting in laughter. “I can’t blame you though, I am hot.”
“Sure, rub it in. Like, I don’t get jealous enough when you get all the attention.” Dmitry said, without being serious. Then out
of the blue, he just stopped on his tracks, looking straight to the other side of the street. His eyes grew wider and his mouth was the shape
of a small “o”.
“What’s wrong with you?” Marat asked him, “Dude, you look like you saw an angel.”
“Man, if I ever see an angel, I’m sure it’d look like that…” Dmitry said, not taking his eyes off what he was looking at. Marat followed
his gaze and saw who it was. He smiled when he did. It was Angela. She was looking for them, looking around, with her hair gently blown by
the wind. When she finally spotted them, she smiled and waved.
“Oh my god, am I in heaven?” Dmitry said, “Did you see that, man? She just smiled and waved at me!”
“Sure.” Marat said, keeping himself from laughing. Angela started to cross the street towards them.
“Man, she’s walking over here.” Dmitry said, rather excitedly. “Do I look okay?”
“Hi!” Angela said when she reached them. “Did I take long?”
“Yeah, where have you been all my life?” Dmitry said. At that point Marat could no longer contain himself. He burst out laughing
especially because there’s a puzzled look on Angela’s eyes.
“Don’t mind him, he’s crazy!” He told Angela, still laughing. “You’re just on time.”
“Okay.” Angela said, she walked towards Marat and gave him a peck on the cheek, and sat beside him. Dmitry was awestruck.
“You know her?” He asked Marat.
“Yeah, I told you we were meeting my girlfriend didn’t I?” Marat said, “You should see your face right now, Tursunov! You’re
as red as a tomato!” He just can’t stop laughing.
“What is going on here?” Angela asked, she has no idea what was so funny…only to Marat.
“You suck, man! You suck!” Mitya said, shaking his head. Then she looked at Angela, looking so innocent. “I don’t know
how you put up with this guy! You must have a lot of patience.” He told her, “Anyway, I’m Dmitry. You can call me Dima or Mitya or
whatever you want.” He said, with a smile.
“Or you can call him Tursunov!” Marat said.
“It’s nice to meet you, Tursunov.” Angela said to Dima, offering her hand.
“Ah, that’s it. You’re both crazy!” Dima said, sighing. “I guess you have to be a bit crazy to get along with this guy.”
“Yeah, he’s a crazy…” She told him, looking at Marat “But that’s the way I like it.” He touched her face.
“Awww….that’s sweet. Excuse me I have to go to the bathroom.” Mitya said.
While Mitya was gone, Marat told her what was so funny. Angela laughed too although she was telling him how mean
it was. Mitya came back shortly after their food was served. Marat and Angela were talking about how their evening was gonna be.
Their faces were so close to each other.
“So…?” Marat said, flashing his sexy smile.
“So…”Angela said, smiling back.
“That’s it then?” He asked.
“Yep, looks like it…” She said. It was like they were the only two people in the café, when Mitya barged in.
“Hey, I’m back!” He said. The two snapped out of the trance they were sharing. “Was I interrupting something?”
“No.” Marat said.
“No.” Angela seconded.
“It’s okay kids, I’m not the principal.” Mitya told them.
“Well, then yes, you did interrupt something.”
“NO! It was nothing. My coffee’s not here…I’ll just go get it.” Angela said, then she turned to Marat and gave him
a look. Marat just gave her a big smile. Then he noticed Mitya, also smiling.
“What are you smiling about?” He asked him.
“Nothing! I didn’t say a thing!” Mitya said. He let out a little laugh.
“What?” Marat asked.
“I like her.” Mitya said, “For you, I mean.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like, you’re smiling like a kid on Christmas morning when she’s around.” Mitya said. “Not a sight you
see everyday.”
“She makes me happy.” Marat confirmed. Looking back at Angela waiting for her coffee at the counter.
Mitya followed suit.
“I’m sure…in more ways than one. Oooh!” Mitya said.
“Eat your breakfast, Tursunov!” Marat said. Mitya gave him a hands up, and started eating.
After brunch, Marat and Dima still had somewhere to go so they dropped Angela off near Marat’s apartment. Angela got
into the elevator, rewinding what happened earlier in her mind, and that made her smile. As she was getting off the elevator on their
floor, she suddenly felt dizzy. It was like she was looking at the whole corridor under a telescope, winding it up and down with shaky
arms. She held herself up by leaning on the wall. It lasted only for several seconds, but it felt longer. When she recovered, she started
walking towards the pad. As she closed the door behind her, she couldn’t help but think about what her mother had told her on the phone.
Maybe her mom was telling the truth, but she just doesn’t want to believe that. But, now, doubt is really starting to creep in. Just the thought
of telling Marat, and how he would feel upon learning about it scares her. She needed time to prepare him and herself. She thought she had
time, but now she learns that she have only but a couple of months. Worst yet, it worries her. In her heart, she don’t want --she can’t-- see him
get hurt. She can’t take that. It would hurt her more.
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Jul 23, 2008 8:56:15 GMT 3
Foreword: Read slowly and carefully. Take note of the times each scene takes place so you won't get lost in the sequence...
Chapter 29
October 17, 2005. Moscow, Russia. 22:45 p.m.
It’s Fashion Week in Moscow. Marat and Angela were supposed to attend an event that night. They’ve discussed
about going days before. Angela was so excited because it was the first time she was going to attend such event. She never
really got to go to watch fashion shows in New York even when she lived there. She just didn’t have any interest about those
things back then. But she wanted to experience this now so when the invitation came, she asked Marat if they could come.
He was reluctant at first. He wasn’t really interested in going but since Gelya wanted to go, he couldn’t say no.
But there he was, all by himself. He was not having as much fun as he usually does. He was thinking about Angela.
What’s she doing? Should he call her up to check? These past several days had her almost blacking out quite frequently.
She almost had had to hold on to things so as not to lose her balance and topple over. The episodes only lasted for a few seconds
to a couple of minutes but they were frequent enough to make him concerned. He had told her they should see a doctor but she
refused. She told him it was only due to her migraine, or some other minor reasons, and that she’s taking medicine for it already.
But he still worries. And now, in his disconcertment, he didn’t realize how much he has had to drink already and he’s feeling
buzzed. He saw Dasha, his former girlfriend, and she came to talk to chat with him for a while. Photographers feasted at the
opportunity. But he was not that much concerned about that.
7: 35 a.m.
That morning when she woke up, Gelya was even more excited to go to the event. Her excitement was so contagious
that even Marat caught it. She was like a kid on Christmas Eve and Marat couldn’t help but smile.
“Who else are gonna be there?” Gelya asked, munching thru a sthingyful of cereals.
“A bunch of famous people that I don’t really care about.” Marat said, putting down his cup of coffee.
“There’ll be actors?”
“Yeah.”
“And musicians?”
“Uh-huh.”
“And mo-dels?” She asked, in a singsong way, trying to tease Marat. He read what she was trying to do and decided
to play along with it.
“Of course! Those ultra-fine, uber-sexy super models…I’ve been looking forward to seeing them the most actually.”
He said, playing cool. He saw Gelya pouting in the corner of his eyes. “You still want to go?” He asked. She didn’t answer. He
gave her a few more seconds and then he laughed. “Haha, you never change! You’re always jealous!”
“I’m not jealous.” She defended.
“Yes you are! And this is how you always react when you are, ever since.” He said.
“And how is that?”
“You don’t talk, you just become quiet. But you can see in your face that you are so jealous.”
“I am NOT jea-lous!” She told him, putting emphasis on every syllable. Then she stood up, taking her emptied bowl of
cereals and putting it down in the sink…not so gently. Marat just finds it amusing when she’s acting like that…or rather he just
finds her so sexy when she gets mad like that.
“Come back here.” He called after her. “Gelya, c’mon get back here.”
Angela wouldn’t budge, she was standing near the sink with her arms across her chest, still pouting.
“You know, that’s exactly how you looked that night at the bar when I was dancing with those two women.” Marat said.
She pouted even more and looked away. Marat finally stood up and walked towards her stopping just in front of her. He held her
face with both hands, gently maneuvering it so she’s facing straight at him.
“Look at me.” Marat said. She looked at him. “When are you gonna believe that you are the most beautiful woman on
earth for me? Only you.” He asked her. “And I don’t care about those girls walking on the runway, or those girls you see in the
magazines, or even the latest beauty queen. Not one of them has anything on you. You are my beauty queen…even just wearing
my over sized shirt.”
She finally cracked a smile.
“You believe me now?” He asked. She nodded. “I love you. You’re my whole heart. You’re my soul.
You’re my Angel, right?”
Angela just hugged him. “I love you…so much.” He hugged her too. “So you know what you’re gonna wear later?”
She asked.
“Yeah, whatever’s clean.” He snickered.
“Aren’t you even gonna try to dress up nicely? It is a fashion event, you know. And you’re hair is so messy, when are
you gonna have it cut?”
“You didn’t have a problem with it last night.” He teased her.
She wrinkled her nose and smiled, “Well, at least tie it up. You look cute like that.”
“Fine.” He started tickling her and she tried eluding but couldn’t escape.
“Hey what’s that?” He noticed a bruising at Angela’s nape.
“Huh? What?” She didn’t know about it either.
“You got a bruise on the back of your neck. Where did you get that?” He asked, a bit concerned.
“I don’t know. I don’t remember hitting anything.” She said. Marat turned her around and lifted the collar up her back
so he could see more. There was couple more bruises on her upper back.
“You have couple more here. What did you get into?” He asked, growing more concerned. “Does it hurt?”
“No.”
He poked at it a little bit, “How about when I do that, does it hurt?”
“No.” But she sounded a bit uncertain. She was thinking it might be another manifestation of her illness.
He lifted her shirt up at the back and saw several smaller ones at her lower back too.
“There’s a few more her too. Gelya, do you want to see a doctor? I think we should.”
“No, it’s probably just because of my period. You know I bruise easily when my period’s coming.”
“Are you sure?” Marat asked.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
She wasn’t.
19:48 p.m.
Later that night, Marat came home from his check-up with his doctor earlier to pick up Angela at his apartment. She
was supposed to be dressed up already but she wasn’t.
“Gelya, c’mon, aren’t you ready yet?” He thought Angela was still preparing inside the room, but there was no answer.
He came inside the bedroom and saw her sleeping.
“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!” He said, sitting on the bed beside Angela.
“Hmm?” She opened her eyes, “Oh you’re here already.” She sat up, still not fully awake.
“Yeah, why aren’t you dressed yet?”
“I was going to…but I felt dizzy and thought I’d take a nap for…” she glanced at the table clock, “two hours?! Oh gosh,
I didn’t realize I slept that long!” She said, rather surprised.
“Well, you better get up now and get dressed, or we’ll be late. And I know how much you don’t like being late.” He said,
pulling her up from the bed.
She stood up finally and started ushering him out of the room “Okay, okay, now get out so I can dress.” She said, “I’ll
be done in a few minutes.”
Marat went to the living room to wait for her. He turned on the television on so he won’t get bored. He wasn’t even sitting
there for 15 minutes when he heard something heavy dropped to the floor in the bedroom. He ran back in calling out Angela. He
saw her slumped on the floor trying to stand up.
“What happened to you?” He came to her side and assisted her.
“I don’t know I just felt dizzy, then all went black and next thing I know I fell to the floor.” She said.
“I told you, you should have come with me to the hospital to get a check-up. Why won’t you listen to me.” Marat said.
“Sorry, dad.” She joked. He helped her sit on the bed and sat beside her.
“It’s not funny.” He said, “I’m really worried, this has been happening to you so frequently. What if it happens when
you’re crossing the street? Or walking down the stairs?”
“I already told you, it’s nothing, its just migraine. I have medicine for it.” She insisted.
“Fine.” He said, “But I don’t think we should go to that Fashion Week event. I don’t think you’re up to it.”
“Yeah, no, I’m not. But you should go.” She told him.
“No, I’m staying here with you.” He stood up and took his jacket off, and went inside the bathroom.
“Marat, you have to go there. People are expecting you, and you did confirm your attendance.” She stood up and
picked up his jacket.
“I only did that because you wanted to go.”
“Yes, but I’m only your plus one. My name is not on the guest list.” She said, “It’s you who’s really invited…Are we
gonna argue about this?” She followed him, stood just outside the door.
“But I’m just worried about you.” He said, zipping up his pants. “What if you black out again?”
“I’ll be fine, I’ll take it easy, and just stay here, so I won’t fall and hit anything,” She said, standing beside the sink as
Marat was washing his hands. “Besides, you’re already dressed up.”
“You sure?” He looked at her.
“Yes.” She said, putting up his jacket so he can slip in to it. “Go.”
“All right.” He conceded, “But I’m going to call you several times, and you better pick up or I’m coming home and I
won’t care if it’s right in the middle of a show.”
“Okay.” She said with hands up. “Go, go, go!”
So Marat left the apartment. When he got to his car, he immediately called Angela.
“Hello?” Angela said on the other end.
“It’s me, just checking up on you.”
“Marat, you just left.”
“I haven’t left I’m just outside, in my car.” Marat said, “Are you sure you want me to go?”
“Yes, now go!” She said, “You are so stubborn!”
“Oh, I’m stubborn?”
“Ay, Marat!” She sighed, “Good bye. Have fun. We are not having this argument.” And she clicked off the phone.
“Hello? Hello? Angela, hello?” He heard the line go dead. He had no choice but to go, so he did.
23: 10 p.m.
And so there he was, in a party he should be enjoying surrounded with beautiful people, good food and good drinks,
but he wasn’t. Dasha has left his company to join another group. She probably found him uninterested in having a conversation.
All he did was nod, or say da or nyet. He has stopped drinking now too.
He took out his mobile phone and dialed his apartment’s and Angela’s numbers subsequently for the nth time. He’s
tried a couple of times already but it keeps getting cut off because no one was picking up. The alcohol in his system is quickly
burning up and his mind is becoming more sober. He’s starting to really worry, almost to a point of panic. He clicked off his phone
and started on his way to leaving. A couple of acquaintance got in his way and offered him a drink. He politely declined, and left
in a hurry.
22:07 p.m.
A couple hours after Marat left the apartment, Angela couldn’t sleep yet so she turned on the t.v., and watched for a
while. But she couldn’t find anything to watch, so she decided to just have a warm bath. She thought it might help. She took
out Marat’s Sting CD and put it on the player, then she went to the bathroom and filled the tub with water and got in.
She lost track of time at the tub. She had her eyes closed relaxing to the music, and fell asleep for a few minutes. It
had actually been half an hour and her fingers were wrinkling. She decided it was enough. She stood up, pulled the plug to
drain the water, and grabbed a towel to wrap herself in. As she was doing so, the phone rang. And as if on cue, she felt dizzy.
She held on to the sink and struggled her way to the door. She was halfway towards it, when she suddenly blacked out and fell
to the floor. The phone kept ringing.
23: 54 p.m.
Marat ran to his apartment as soon as he got out of his car. When he opened the door, Sting was still playing.
“Angela!” He called out. “Ange, where are you? Are you here?” He turned off the player. He went to the kitchen but
she wasn’t there. “Gelya, where are you? I’ve been calling, you weren’t picking the phone up.”
He thought maybe she was already sleeping so he went to the bedroom. “Ange?” She wasn’t there. His heart’s
beginning to race now. He was about to get out of the room when he noticed the bathroom door slightly open. He quickly turned
towards it, and opened the door. He saw her lying on the floor, and rushed to her side and dropped to his knees. He raised her
on his arms and shook her up a little bit.
“Angela! Gelya! Wake up!” Marat said, almost hysterically. “Oh, God, Angie wake up, please!” He lifted her up and
brought her into the bedroom. She placed her on the bed. She was like a limp rag doll. He felt for her pulse and it was okay, just
slightly slow. He was still very worried and scared. He was on the verge of tears. He picked the phone up to call for rescue when
she gave a little gasp of breath and moved her head. He dropped the phone to the floor and went to her side.
“Angela?” Marat said, touching her face. She opened her eyes slowly.
“Marat…” Angela said, “You’re home.” She said, her voice so soft. She sat up, Marat helped her and placed some
pillow on her back.
“Yeah, I was worried about you. I was calling, and you weren’t picking up. I got home and found you in the bathroom.
What happened to you?”
“I don’t know. I must’ve fainted.”
“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did you hit your head?” He asked, inspecting her head.
“No, I don’t think so.” She noticed Marat was shaking a bit. “Are you okay? You’re shaking.”
“I’m fine.” He said, “It must be the nerves.” He held her face. He wanted so much to be mad at her because she wouldn’t
listen to him about going to the doctor, but he was just so relieved that she was now conscious. “Don’t you ever do that to me
again! Don’t ever scare me like that, you understand?”
“Well, I’ll try my best.” She said, smiling a bit. In her mind, she wasn’t sure how she can do that if this was indeed how
her illness is manifesting itself. She had to know for sure. She had to know if her mom was really telling her the truth, and how
far worse she has become. But for now she had to show a brave face. Marat held her tight in his arms. Then she remembered
she only had her towel on. “Ah…can I get my clothes on first at least?”
That night, Marat stayed up as long as he can just watching Angela as she slept beside him. When he was finally too
tired, he put her head over his shoulder and held her in his arms through the whole night.
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Jul 29, 2008 16:52:44 GMT 3
Chapter 30
October 23, 2005
For the past few days after that incident, Angela grew even more bothered about her condition. She began researching over
the Internet, secretly, making excuses from Marat just so she can be alone. She just didn’t want
to let him know about it because shedoesn’t want him to worry. He has enough to worry about, and
he can’t do anything about it anyway. When she wasn’t satisfied with what she knew, she looked for
ways to contact her doctor. Then she emailed him asking him to send her his files on her. She wants to know
exactly what it is that she has.
In all this, Marat has been left feeling a little neglected. He wanted to spend time with her all the time, asking her to
accompany him on photo shoots, magazine interviews, everywhere but she just kept declining his
invitation. She’d rather stay at the apartment by herself, and pushing him to go on his own.
She didn’t tell anyone else either. She figured if someone else knew then it would eventually get to Marat.
She kept everything to herself. She didn’t realize that this was putting strain in their relationship.
This was most true when Marat invited her out to see a movie.
“So, that movie you were raving about last month is finally out, you wanna see it? I’m free tonight!” Marat told her.
“If I remember correctly, it was you who was so excited about it.” She said with disinterest.
“And if you weren’t so dense you’d realize that I am asking you out.” Marat answered.
“Oh, I’m dense? I’m dense and you’re Mother Theresa.” She said with unexpected disdain, which at that moment she wasn’t
aware of.
Marat was surprised, “What is wrong with you? I’m just asking you out to see a movie.” He said.
“What? It’s not obvious that I don’t want to go out? If you want to see that movie so much why don’t you go by yourself and leave
me alone! I don’t have to go wherever you want, I’m not your shadow.”
If it were anyone else, Marat would have already blown his top off. But it was Angela, and he couldn’t even if he wanted to.
So instead of retorting, he just gave up. “All right. I’m going out.”
“Good! Go! Leave me alone.” She said.
As soon as Marat left and closed the door behind him, she realized what she’s done. She could feel he was hurt by the sound of his step
and of the door as he closed it. But it was too late now. She didn’t follow him out or called after him.
She can’t. She wanted to be alone. So, for now, her apologies will have to wait. After a few minutes,
she got in the net and opened her email account.
Meanwhile, Marat, instead of heading to the cinema went straight to his parents’ house. His parents weren’t there when he came and the
living room lights were turned off. He sat there in the dark until Dinara came out of her room, singing with her i-pod.
“Holy sh*t!” She exclaimed as she saw Marat sitting at the couch when she turned the lights on.
“Dammit, Marat! What are you doing here in the dark? You scared me!” She said, still shivering a bit.
“Sorry.” Marat said, simply.
“Right. Well, I’m glad you didn’t get lost coming here! You still remember the location!” She jumped in the seat across him.
gave her an unenergetic smile in return.
“Something wrong?” She immediately noticed. He answered with sigh. “Where’s Gelya?”
“At my pad.” He said.
“You’re here and Gelya’s at your pad?! And here I was thinking you were inseperable!”
“She wants to be alone. She told me to…go away.” Marat said.
“She doesn’t want to spend the whole day with you? I thought that was supposed to be hard to resist, right?” She joked.
“Don’t patronize me.” Marat said, a bit miffed.
“Oh, we’re serious?” She asked. But she already knew that even though Marat didn’t answer. “You guys had a fight?”
“She did, I didn’t fight back.” Marat said, “I just wanted to see a movie with her so I asked her and she snapped.” He lay on the couch.
“I mean, what’s wrong with wanting to spend some quality time with the person you love?” He continued,
“Lately I feel like she’s distancing away from me…like she’s pushing me away. I mean, even though
were together at the apartment, I feel like she’s so far. She doesn’t even watch t.v. with me. She’s always online in
our room. When we eat together it’s like she’s somewhere else, her mind is not there.
At night, when we sleep, she turns her back on me. Sometimes she even gets out of bed in the middle of the night,
and I’d find her sleeping on the sofa in the living room in the morning. Before, she sleeps on my chest.
We hold each other the whole night like we can’t get enough of each other....”
“Whoa, okay, stop before you start sharing too much information.” Dina said, “I get it, that’s enough.”
Marat sighed. “Okay. All I’m saying is…I feel…like…she’s neglecting me.”
She thought about what Marat has confessed for a couple of minutes. “You know, I think you’re reading too much in to it.”
She said, “You know, maybe she just needs time for herself. You can’t always be beside each other
all the time. Even mom and dad sometimes takes some time apart, right?”
“I don’t know, it just feels different than that…I can’t explain it.” Marat said.
“Trust me brother, she loves you.” Dina assured him. “She wouldn’t have comeback and stayed with you if she didn’t, right?
She didn’t even have another boyfriend when she left until she came back to you.”
“I guess…”
“Just trust me.” She said, “You are the only man she loves. You’re the only man in her life…especially because she never met her dad!”
That last bit made Marat smile at least.
“Tell you what, you should go to the cinema. I’ll go to your apartment and talk to Gelya. I’m not promising anything but, I’ll try to get her here. Deal?”
“You sure?” Marat asked, still sounding discouraged.
“Yeah! C’mon, huh…?” She insisted. She just felt compelled to do something because she isn’t used to him acting like that.
“Fine. Deal.”
So Dina took her coat, and left. Marat stayed for a few minutes sitting at the couch. When he stood up, he turned off the light again and
sat right back at the couch. He reached inside his pocket and took out a piece of paper. It’s a paper
he found under Angela’s pillow. He read it. It said nothing but a name and an email address of a guy
named Mark Dane. He crumpled it in his hand and tossed it in the trash. He closed his eyes and
submerged himself in total darkness for a while.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at Marat’s pad, Angela was taking a shower in the bathroom when Dinara came. Angela couldn’t hear her calling from outside the door,
so Dina got inside without her knowing. She was deep in thought that’s why she wasn’t aware of what’s going on outside. Dinara heard the shower running inside the bathroom in Marat’s bedroom and assumed Angela must be there so she went inside.
As she stepped inside the bedroom, and was about to call Angela’s attention to let her know that she’s there,
the laptop buzzed to alert that an email has been received. She didn’t mean to pry, but the curious cat that
she is she clicked the message open and saw what it was. She’s read only a bit of it when Angela
stepped out of the bathroom and saw her.
“Dina!” She said, surprised to see her. “What are you doing here?” A chill ran down her spine when she saw the laptop in Dina’s hands.
“What is going on here?” Dina said, wide-eyed, confused about what she had just read. “What does this mean?” She gave the laptop
to Angela and she read what it said.
Angela couldn’t speak for a minute. So many thought are streaming into her mind because of what she had just read. She was thinking
whether she should tell Dina. What would happen if she did? Would she tell Marat? She thought of the
consequences of Marat knowing. Everything that she’s been worried about has suddenly all came to
reality, and she was not as prepared as she thought.
“Angela?” Dina interrupted her thought. Angela heard her voice as though it was coming from a long tunnel, she felt dizzy but
she fought it. She closed her eyes for a second. Right then, she decided that it was time to face the reality.
And she needed to be strong in it. She opened her eyes, and looked at Dina and told her everything.
“You read what you read.” She told her, “I have cancer. It’s called chronic myelocytic leukemia. It’s different from the one I had
all those years ago when I left.”
“But how? Does Marat know?” Dina asked. She could feel the heaviness of the situation and that made her feel like it was hard to breathe.
“No.” Angela said.
“Aren’t you gonna tell him? I mean, you should tell him…you guys should go through this together…”
“No. No, I’m going to do this on my own. He doesn’t need to know.” Angela said firmly. “I would not have gone through all the
trouble protecting him from the truth the first time if I’m gonna put him through it now.” She said, with tears
welling up in her eyes. “Do you understand what I’m saying? Promise me, you won’t tell him.”
Dina considered the situation. She understands why Angela didn’t want to tell Marat. She was just trying to protect him.
Rauza had told her all about what happened before when Angela and her mom moved to New York.
She needed to undergo surgery and therapy, which was only available in the US at that time.
They were lucky enough to have found a sponsor for it. Only her mom and dad knew the truth about it.
They hid it from Marat to Angela request because she didn’t want him to lose focus on his training and career.
And that same situation and reason is why Angela doesn’t want to let him know now.
But she also understood that it was unfair for Marat.
“Okay. I promise I won’t tell him…” She said, “…unless, I have to.” She looked straight into Angela’s eyes. Intently.
“Fair enough.” Angela said.
“But you have to know, he’s beginning to feel like you’re hiding something from him.” She said, “He feels like your neglecting him
and you’re pushing him away. He came to the house, earlier and told me.”
“I know…I didn’t mean to, but I guess I’ve been distant” She said, with regret. “Where is he now?”
“At our house, waiting for you.” Dina said, “I told him I’d come and get you.”
“Okay. I’ll dress up and we can go.” She said.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So Dina drove her back to their house. Angela asked to stop at a little flower stall on the way to buy some flowers.
She thought she at least owe Marat a sort of peace offering. When they got there, Dina left Angela
because she had to go somewhere else. So Angela rang the bell. No one answered the first time,
so she rang again several times, until a booming voice answered and send chills down her spine.
But that didn’t discourage her.
“Okay! I heard it the first time!” Marat said from inside the house. She heard his footsteps coming to the door so she put the bouquet
of flowers in front of her, covering her face. So the flowers are what Marat saw first when he opened the door.
“Forgive me?” Angela said, when the door opened. Marat was surprised and could not say anything.
“Can I come in? It’s cold.” she asked.
“Yeah, of course…”
“These are for you by the way.” She handed him the flowers, “So…am I forgiven?”
He took the flowers and smiled just a bit, “There’s nothing you can do that can change the way I feel about you.” He said, “I mean it.”
“Thank you.” And she kissed him. Long and full of passion. Marat held her in his arms tightly. “So, how ‘bout that movie?”
So they went to the movies and had dinner after, then they went back to Marat’s pad. All the while holding each other’s hands as if
they don’t ever want to let go of each other. Marat put the flowers in a pitcher that he doesn’t use
because he didn’t have a vase around and placed it on the table at the living room. They went to sleep,
still holding each other, their bodies seeming to be intertwined. When he thought that Angela was sleeping
tightly already, he whispered something in her ear.
“Ya lublyu tebya, Angela.” He said, “I cannot be without you again. I can’t even bear the thought of that.” And he held her even closer.
But Angela wasn’t really that deep in sleep yet, and she heard what he said. It just made things harder for her.
How is she ever going to tell him everything? She can’t do this on her own. It’s much too hard.
So, when Marat was really asleep, she sneaked out of the bed, took her mobile phone to the bathroom and
called her mom. They talked for about an hour. Maria wanted her to come home. It took a lot of convincing
until she finally relented.
“Okay. I’ll do it.” She told her mom, “Just…I need a week. Give me a week and I’ll come back. I just… I need to do something.”
“Are you sure you can do whatever it is you have to?”
“I’ll do it. No matter how much it’ll hurt.” She said. She turned the phone off and went back to the bedroom. She stood at the foot of
the bed and stared at Marat, sleeping so peacefully. She got back on the bed, and lay close to Marat.
She hugged him and put her head on his chest. He stirred and put his arms around her.
She wanted to cry, but she kept her tears from falling by closing her eyes until she fell asleep.
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Aug 3, 2008 10:44:46 GMT 3
Chapter 31
October 25, 2005
Dinara was going to leave for another tournament in a couple of days so the family had dinner in a
restaurant. Marat and Angela came as well. When Dina and Angela went to the ladies room, Dina
asked her what she was planning to do with the whole situation. Angela didn’t tell her any details
but just told Dina to trust her, and trust that she loves her brother more than anyone else in the
world.
On the way back to the apartment, Angela asked Marat to go to Gorky Park. She told him she wanted
to take in some fresh night air for just a little while. They sat on a bench near the pond where
the ducks used to be. They weren’t there anymore because winter was coming. The tulips were still
there.
“Oh, the ducks have gone…” She sighed, as she looked around. “It’s still a beautiful night.”
She said, “The stars are out.”
“Yeah, but now is really not the best time to be out here.” Marat said. “It’s cold.”
“That’s why there aren’t many people.” Angela said, “You think you can be out here when it’s not
cold and a lot of people are around?” She sighed. “Marat?” She leaned on the bench.
“Hmm?”
“Do you trust me?” She asked.
It sounded like such a random question that Marat didn’t notice how serious she was when she asked
it the first time. “Why do you ask?” He said, laughing a little.
“I just want to know.” She said.
Marat looked at her. She was staring at the sky, deep in thought. He was interested in where this
was all going so he indulged in it. “Of course I do.”
She looked at him, her eyes seem to be pleading. “Tell me. I need you to.”
“I trust you. With my life, I trust you.” He told her.
She smiled. “Thank you.” She said, “I need you to promise me something.”
“Okay.”
“Promise me you’ll never forget this moment, right now, this very moment.” She said, “Do you promise?”
“Yeah. Okay.” He said. She took his hand and placed it over her heart.
“Tell me.” She said.
He could feel her heart beating in his hand, against the softness of her bosom. It was fast but steady,
and so pronounced. “I promise, I won’t forget.” He said.
“I love you...very, very much. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world. Don’t ever
forget that.” She told him, “Trust that. No matter what happens, no matter what I do or what I say
that makes you feel otherwise, trust that...and don’t ever forget that. Promise me.”
Marat had no idea why she was acting like that. Why she was so full of emotion right now, emotions
that he could not decipher. He was puzzled, but he could feel how serious she was, how intense.
He thought about asking her in jest, but he opted not to. It didn’t feel like the right thing to do or
the right way to react.
“I promise. I won’t ever forget.” He said, “I love you too. Very much.”
Then she hugged him. She buried her face in his chest. His coat covered her face that he could not
see her tears at it stream down her eyes. He held her. His arms wrapped around her.
“Let’s go home.” That was all he could say.
At home that night, they made love with a passion neither of them thought could be possible between
two beings the whole night. So much ardor, so intense and so passionate. Each kiss felt like coals
burning deep in each other’s souls. There was electricity that envelops them with every contact their
bodies made. He could not help but let escape tears from his eyes, out of bliss that shrouded them
like a tidal wave at that moment more than anything else. Little did he know that it was to be the
last time he would be making love to her. The last time that he could feel her warm, feverous, naked
body next to him. The last time she would be kissing him with unmatched fervor and intensity. And
she, knowing what is to come, let herself go as she felt the flurry of emotions exploding, more powerful
than a super nova as he was inside her, and let it engulf her completely. She wished the night to
never end, and the morning to never come.
But all good things must come to an end, no matter how much we want it to go on. And if she is going
to be true to her word, that morning is to be the beginning of their end.
The next morning, she woke up from the sun’s rays leaking in thru the window blinds. She didn’t want
to open her eyes. She didn’t want to wake up from her dream. But she knew she has to. She forced
herself to open her eyes. When she did, the first thing she looked upon was Marat’s face. He was
so close to her. She could hear him breathing. His arm heavy across her bosom, and his leg on hers
and yet it was not why she was breathing with difficulty. She closed her eyes. She was fighting with
herself, forcing herself to do what she has to. She opened her eyes and looked at him again. She
studied his face, every inch of it, as if memorizing it. Memorizing every curve, every nook. Memo-
rizing where the line appears when he smiles. His smile. It breaks her heart that she might have
to never see it again. “I’m doing this for you.” She said softly, but with conviction. She took
his arm off her gently, and pulled her legs out from under his and got out of bed. She took a shower
and got dressed and left.
Marat woke up an hour later with a smile on his face. He stretched his arms across the bed, but he
didn’t feel Angela next to him. He turned over to her side of the bed and buried his face in her
pillow. He could still smell the fragrance of her hair on it. He put the pillow on his side and
hugged it, as if it was her. He replayed all of last night in his head, and he had the happiest,
most contented smile on his face. He thought about spending the rest of his life with her. He could
not picture himself with anyone else to spend it with. Then he decided. He wants her to be his wife.
He’ll ask her to marry him.
Angela went to a travel agency and bought a ticket to fly to New York for that Saturday. She was going
to leave Moscow no matter what happens as she’s promised her mom. Now she only has to think about
how to leave Marat. She didn’t go straight back to the apartment. She wanted to be away from him
for a while, while she thinks about what she’s going to do. She knew that if she sees him, she’ll
never be able to do that. So, she took a walk around the streets with no intention of arriving anywhere.
She just walked until she was tired. When she looked around, she was at the park. At the same place
she and Marat were last night. She sat on the same bench and looked at the tulips. Some of them
have already withered. Soon all of them will be dead as well. She couldn’t help but smile at the
irony of having the same fate as the flowers. She didn’t notice the blood that trickled from her
nose until a drop fell on the back of her hand. She took her handkerchief from her pocket and wiped
it off. She turned her nose up to stop it from bleeding and put the handkerchief over her nose.
Her tears started building up in her eyes. She felt them flow from the corner of her eyes. She knew
it was another sign of her illness from the file her doctor has sent her. It stopped after a couple
of minutes, but the hankie was all bloodied. She stuck it in her coat pocket.
When she went back, it was already a bit dark. Marat was about to leave when she opened the door.
“Oh, sorry!” She almost accidentally hit him with the door.
“Angela!” Marat said, surprised, “I was about to look for you.”
“I’m here now.” She told him. “I’m not missing.” She walked past him, straight to the room and to
the bathroom where she washed the blood off the hankie. She managed to get most of it off but not
all. So she just put it in the laundry basket for the meantime. Marat followed behind her and sat
at the bed.
“I was worried because I couldn’t reach you.” He said.
“I turned my phone off.” She said.
“Well…where have you been?”
She opened the door and came out of the bathroom, “I don’t have to tell you everything that I do!”
She said, with a demeanor almost alien to Marat about her, contempt.
“Okay, you don’t have to tell me.” Marat said, obviously hurt but trying to keep his emotions.
“I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“Good, because you’re not my husband!” She said, “We don’t have a commitment to each other. We’re
not married!” She stormed out of the room and went to the living.
Marat thought he’d figured out where all that was coming from. He thought she was hinting about get-
ting married with that last thing she said. He decided not to tell her about what he was planning
to do. He wanted to surprise her with his proposal. He wants everything to be perfect. He figured
he’d just let her get frustrated a bit until the day he plans on proposing to her.
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Aug 10, 2008 16:52:27 GMT 3
Chapter 32
October 28, 2005, Friday.
This is the day! Marat thought to himself. This is the day he’s going to do it. He is going to propose to her. He’s
got it all planned up for that night. He was so excited he even shaved his beard. He couldn’t wait to see her face
when he finally asks her. She has been acting up ever since that night he thought she went missing. He had found
it amusing. That morning she left again a bit early, not telling him where she was going. But that was okay. He
needed her out of the apartment so he could get everything ready. For the first time in his life, he was actually going
to cook a full course dinner. He had some help, of course. His friend who owns a restaurant already marinated
the chicken he was going to cook. His friend offered to do the whole thing for him but he wanted to have his own
touch on everything. He wanted to do it himself. He brought candles, and some fine linen to put over his dinner
table. He even has the ring. He was sure she was going to love it. Everything was going to be perfect. Or so he
thought.
When Angela came home that night, the apartment was dark. Except for the single candle lighted on the table.
When she got closer she saw the table prepared for a dinner for two. Then Marat appeared behind her, whispering
in her ear. She didn’t like what this was looking like.
“Welcome home.” He said. He took her purse and coat and put it on the couch. She didn’t move an inch. “Sit
down, I prepared dinner.” He said with pride.
“What’s this about?” She asked him, as she sat down. He walked to the other chair and sat.
“I just thought I should prepare something for this…special night.” Marat said. “Well, let’s eat.”
“Why don’t you turn the light on so I could see.” She said. Every second that passes makes her more nervous.
She kept wishing it wasn’t what she was thinking it was. He stood up to turn the light on. She started eating the
soup, when Marat bought out the chicken from the oven. It smelled fantastic and he was so proud of it.
“Here you go. Try it, it’s good.” He served her some. She took a small bite and nothing else. She was too tense
to eat. “What’s the matter, you don’t like it?” Marat asked. He looked so handsome, with such a loving look on
his eyes. She couldn’t take it anymore.
“What is this?” Angela said, “What are you doing?”
“Okay, I guess I don’t have to wait till dinner’s over…” Marat said. He stood up and walked towards Angela. He
took a deep breath as he knelt on one knee. “Gelya, I…want to ask you…” He sighed, “God, I didn’t know I was
gonna be this nervous…” But he continued, nevertheless. “I could not picture myself for the rest of my life living
with somebody else. I’ve lost you once already, and I can’t let that happen again. I know I can be difficult to live
with, and I’m sure we’ll have a lot of arguments…but I promise I’ll never hurt you, and let you win all the time…well,
most of the time. I just…if you’re up to it, I want you to marry me.”
He took the ring out of his pocket and showed it to Angela. “Gelya, will you marry me?” He looked so full of hope,
and excited and nervous at the same time. And Angela’s heart was breaking as she took the cue. This is it. She
had to do it now. There’s no other time. She had to before he gets even deeper.
“I’m sorry.” She told him. Looking away. Marat was shocked and disappointed. But he kept his cool.
“Oh…okay. I guess you’re just as surprised as I am right now.” He said. He stood up and sat on his chair. “Okay.
I guess you need time to think about it. You got it.”
“No.” She said, softly that only she can trace the cracks on her voice. “That’s not what I mean.” She continued.
She gathered all her strength to say what she’s about to. “I can’t marry you… She said, “I don’t want to marry you.”
With more conviction, she added.
He tried making sense of it all. It was happening so fast inside his head. Then it all sunk in. The email address,
the late night phone calls, her coldness towards him. He was starting to get enraged. He kept himself from erupting.
He had to know the truth first before he does. He was trembling with anger. Then he asked it.
“Is there someone else?” He asked her.
“What?” She didn’t understand what he was asking.
“Is it Mark Dane?” He asked. She finally got it. And then she realized that he was inadvertently giving her some
sort of alibi.
“You want to know the truth?” She asked him, putting on a brave face.
“Yes. I f*#$ing want to know the f*#$ing truth!” He said, raising his voice.
Stay strong Angie. Stay strong. She kept repeating that in her head. “Yes.” She said, “It is. It’s because of Mark.”
Her heartbeat was getting faster, but she didn’t flinch a bit. “I love him. And I want to be with him.” Go on rub it
in some more. This is what you gotta do. “I was just looking for a good time to break up with you.”
“But when we made love that night, you…” He couldn’t continue to ask what he wanted.
“It was a test. For me. I wanted to know if I really love you or not. I tried. But I…I couldn’t lie. That’s why I’ve been
cold and distant to you these past days. I don’t…” She took a deep breathe, “I don’t love you, Marat.”
Marat was devastated when what she said hit him. It hit like a runaway freight train. So hard it almost broke him
to pieces. “How could you do this to me?” He was breathing so hard, like his chest was going to explode. He
was starting to get really red from anger.
Angela was trying really hard to contain herself and from keeping herself from going to Marat holding him and
telling him the real truth. “I’m sorry.” The words escaped her lips.
Then he blew up. He stood up, and swiped the table clean with his hands. The plates, glasses, utensils and every-
thing else crashed down to the floor. Angela stood up, stunned. She’s never seen him this mad before. Not even
when playing.
“You’re sorry? You’re sorry?! That’s all you have to say for yourself?” He said, pacing back and fort the room.
“I loved you so much, and you played with me!” He walked towards her, lunged at her almost, he put his hands on
her shoulder, his arms outstretched, pinning her to the wall behind her. They were face to face. She could see
the pain she’s caused him in his eyes. He was on the verge of tears.
She wanted to cry herself, but she fought it. She must stay strong. “How could you do this to me Gelya?!” He
stroked her hair. She closed her eyes. She would understand if he hurts her now. She’ll forgive him. His elbows
collapsed and he pinned her to the wall with his own body. His face against the wall, over her shoulder, his eyes
closed, she could feel him shiver. Her heart was pounding. She wanted to hold him, but she didn’t.
“Go.” He whispered, “Get out of here.”
“I’m really sorry, Marat.” She whispered back.
He walked away. “Just leave. Please, just leave.” He stood at the window, his hands gripping the windowsill. He
closed his eyes. “Just go before I hurt you.”
She walked towards the door. Marat didn’t see her tears fall. They were falling like waterfalls. When she got out,
Marat went on a rampage. Screaming, he destroyed everything he put his hands on. He smashed a chair on the wall
that destroyed it. He saw the bouquet of flowers she had given him days before and threw that at the center table in
the living room.
Behind the door, Angela fell to her knees, leaning on the door, crying as she heard the crashing and smashing
inside. But nothing could be louder than the crashing and breaking of her heart as well as Marat’s.
“I’m sorry, Marat. I’m sorry I had to tell you those lies.” She said, quietly. “I’m so sorry.” She struggled to stand up
and leave.
When the trashing stopped, Marat fell on the floor on his knees. He was exhausted. He crawled to a dark corner and
sat, elbows on knees and face in hands, crying.
Angela got a cab and went to the hotel she went to a couple of days ago. She took a room there where she took
her clothes to whenever she leaves, slowly so Marat wouldn’t notice. Up until that night, she couldn’t think of a
way of how to do what she had to. She had thought about just disappearing, vanishing without a trace. She figured
it was better for him to get hurt just one time and hate her, than see him in a prolonged agony watching her die.
But Marat gave her a way out when he mentioned the doctor’s name. She just had to ride on it, and she was
successful, if you can call it that.
She stayed at the hotel until she had to leave for her flight the next day.
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Aug 24, 2008 12:27:50 GMT 3
Chapter 33
JFK Airport November 1, 2005 4:30p.m.
Angela’s plane landed on the runway of the John F. Kennedy Airport. It was a long flight, but it felt a lot longer than it
actually was for her. The whole flight she was keeping herself from crying. She caught herself a couple of times
reaching for the phone and calling Marat. She didn’t, of course. That would have defeated the purpose of it all.
When the passengers were allowed to go out of the plane, she was the last one to get out. Her mom was waiting
for her.
When she met with her mom, she didn’t say a word. She didn’t even look at her. They left the airport and drove home to
their apartment, and not a word was said. When she finally settled in her bedroom, Maria just had to break the
silence already. She didn’t expect the reaction she got.
“Are you all right?” She asked softly, full of concern. “Are you hungry?”
Angela sat on the chair near the window, she looked outside to the people in the street. But her eyes were null of emotion.
Like no one was inside anymore. “Does it matter?” She asked back after a while. “I’m dead already anyway.” Her facial reaction
didn’t change, but her tears fell, it seem, by its self.
Seeing her daughter that way, it felt more painful for Maria than a being stabbed by a knife in the heart. Suddenly, she thought,
maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.
New York City, November 3, 2005 8:00 a.m.
Angela was lying in bed awake, but with eyes shut. It’s like she doesn’t want to see the world or perhaps because her eyes were
just so heavy and tired. She’s been crying for two days now since she arrived. Suddenly, she heard a familiar
voice from outside her room. It was calling her name. He was calling her name. She knew who’s voice it was.
Marat. She couldn’t get up. Like there were restraints on her arms and legs. She called out his name. “Marat!
I’m in here!” She said, “I’m here in the room!”
“Angela! I’m here, where are you?” Marat yelled from outside.
“I’m here, can’t you hear me? I’m in my room!” She yelled back. Then suddenly her bedroom door swung open and there he was.
“Marat! You came.”
“I remembered. I promised you I’d remember, and I did. That’s why I’m here.” He said, coming closer to her. Then out of nowhere
three men wearing white scrubs came from behind him and held him back. “What are you doing?” Marat said, “Let go of me! Angela!” Marat
yelled at them.
“Marat! No! Let him go!” She screamed, “Let him go!! Marat!” She tried to stand up again but to no avail. They were pulling him out
of the room. “Wait! You can’t take him away! Marat!” She tried again to stand up with everything she had. And finally she succeeded. She
stood up and ran out the door after them. Her mom just stepped in from the balcony and saw her rushing out of her room.
“Mom, where is he? Where did they go?! Where did they take him?” She asked her mother. There was a look of panic in her eyes,
and Maria noticed it immediately.
“What are you talking about? Where is who?” She followed her wherever she went. “Who are they? And where did they take who?”
She asked, completely confused.
“Marat! He was here, they took him away!” Angela told her, crying hysterically. “Where did they take him mom?” She held on to her
mother, pleading, begging her to tell her where Marat is.
“Honey…Marat’s not here.” She said, suddenly realizing that her daughter must’ve been just dreaming. “He’s not here honey, it’s just
us. No one else. It’s just a dream.”
As she said that, Angela realized that it was indeed a dream. That’s why she couldn’t move earlier, that’s why Marat was there.
“It’s just a dream…it’s not real.” Angela said, repeating what her mom said to her, accepting it as the truth. “Right. He’s not gonna come.
It’s just a dream.” Suddenly she felt dizzy.
“Angela, are you okay?” Maria asked her. “Angela!”
Her knees got week and everything around her was moving. Then everything went black. It was a good thing her mom was holding her
up when she lost consciousness. She called Dr. Dane and he told her to take her to the hospital.
When she woke up, she was in a hospital bed. She’s been out for an hour according to the wall clock. She sat up on the bed and saw
her mom and Dr. Dane outside the window of her room talking. Dr. Dane saw her and told her mom and they came inside.
“How are you feeling?” Dr. Dane asked her.
“You’re the doctor.” Angela said, looking away. “How do you think I feel?”
“Angela!” Maria said, “I’m sorry Mark. She’s just not herself.”
“I understand.” Dr. Dane told Maria, “I’ll just go outside, let you two talk.”
“Thank you.”
After the doctor closed the door, it took a few minutes before Maria talked again.
“I told Dr. Dane, how you’ve been the last couple of days since you arrived.” She said, “I told him you haven’t been eating much.
You don’t go out of your room. You don’t talk to me.” Maria said the last part with great difficulty. Like something
was poking her heart. She took a deep breath to compose herself before she continued. “He said, you should
stay here at the hospital so they can watch over you. And I gave my consent.”
“Really?” Angela said, “Did you even think to consider asking me first if I wanted to be admitted?” She asked, with obvious
contempt. “Oh, that’s right…I’m already dead, who cares about what I think, right?” She taunted her mom.
Maria didn’t like what she said, slapped her. It was really more of frustration than anything else.
“Do you know how much I sacrificed to keep you alive?” She vented. “I worked my self to the bones just to get you the best
treatment possible! And you act like this?!”
“Do you know how much I sacrificed eight years ago so I don’t have to be here again?!” Angela answered. “I turned my back
on everything and everyone who had ever mean something to me because you promised I would be better and I
can go back to them and yet here I am, doing it all over again! You should’ve just let me die back then.” She said,
breaking in tears. “You made me believe I can have them back, you made me believe I can have a normal life! You
made me believe that I can be with Marat…do you not know that the hardest thing to do is leaving someone you
still love very much? And you made me do it not once but twice?!” She continued, “I might as well be dead, mom.
God knows my heart is!”
Maria, after hearing what Angela said, couldn’t help but cry too. She held her tightly. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m so sorry.” She kept
telling Angela as they cried together.
Moscow, Russia Same day. 5:30 p.m.
Marat has locked himself in his apartment for a couple of days after Angela left. He didn’t go out, didn’t talk to anyone, not even on
the phone. Other than the big bottle of vodka he got from Kazan, he was left by all by himself to think about and
take in what happened. He was heart broken. But more than that, he was angry. He was angry with himself for
not seeing it coming. For letting it happen. He was even angrier with Angela. The woman he loved so much he
had even thought about marrying and spending the rest of his life with. He pictured her having a good time with
some other man. He imagined they were having a grand time laughing at him and got even angrier.
That was two days ago. He was in the tub of warm water, with eyes closed, hands hanging out on either side, the other with a glass
of vodka. He has a nagging headache, a result of drinking for two straight days. But the pain he was feeling in
his chest was more than what he’s feeling in his head. It took effort just to lift his arm and raise the glass to his
lips for another sip of the beverage. He was about to drink it, when he stopped.
“What are you doing?” He asked the glass, but really asking himself. “What are you doing, Marat?” He closed his eyes, took a deep
breath and dumped the vodka in the water. “You can’t do this forever. This is what they want. You can’t let them
think they’ve won. They played you. She played you. You can’t let them win by going like this.” He started
crying. “If she thinks I’m going to lose my mind because she left me, she’s wrong. I’ll show her.” He wiped his
tears away. Right then, he realized what he should do. He needed to live his life. He needed to go on with it like
nothing ever happened. After all, the best revenge was to show Angela how quickly he can recover from that whole
thing, he thought. “I’ll show her.” He said. He got out of the tub, let the water drain, and took a shower to clean
himself up. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the days following that, Marat has been up and about town. Going to parties, events, and functions left and right, and always with
different beautiful women. He made sure he was going to get photographed wherever he goes, hoping that Angela
will see them. He even went to Shanghai.
He planned on playing the tournament but changed his mind to the suggestion of his managers and coach. They weren’t confident
about the knee yet after all, and damaging it further or again would be bad. He still attended it though, for the heck
of it. He wanted to get out of Moscow for a while. Everywhere he looked, everywhere he go, he sees Angela and
he wanted to escape that. In Shanghai, there was a rumor that came out about him and the Chinese beauty queen.
He didn’t do anything to extinguish that rumor at all. Him plus other women in the news was always good in his
plan of revenge.
Back home he never missed a party either. He was at Dmitry Bulkin’s party, the 10 year of Kenzo party, and everything else that was
going to be highly publicized. Always showing up with a woman in his arm. He made sure to look happy and
loving life for the press.
But that is only when there are people around. At night, when it’s dark and he’s by himself, he still
succumbs to his loneliness and heartache. He tried to be in the company of other women, but failed miserably.
Once he was taking a woman with him to his apartment in an attempt to erase his loneliness. They were driving in his car. He checked
the rearview mirror then he remembered Angela. He remembered the way she looked that night, wearing the
white dress she borrowed from his sister. They were with his friend Leonid. He remembered how she looked
so beautiful. He remembered how she told him she loved him, and how much she looked so honest telling him
that. He remembered how they kissed in the rain, and how they drove to his apartment on that same street he
was driving now with this woman beside him. He remembered how they made love that night, and how divine
she looked in the moonlight.
He almost passed a red light, if the woman he was with didn’t tap his arm.
“Hey slow down, the light’s red.” She said. He stepped on the break abruptly. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet since we left
the party.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He said. That moment, he decided he just couldn’t do it. “Where do you live again, Ida?”
“It’s Inga. We passed it a couple of blocks ago, why?”
“I’m taking you home.” He said. Then he took the car to a U-turn and drove back around.
“I thought we were going to your apartment?” She asked him.
“I changed my mind.” He said, “I have something else to do.”
So he dropped her off in front of her building, didn’t even bother to come up the pad, and drove off quickly, until he reached the same
traffic light. It was red again. He stopped. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was alone again. He closed his
eyes, and banged the back of his head not too gently on his seat.
New York November 18, 2005
It’s been two weeks since Angela has been confined in the hospital. She met a twelve-year-old boy who was also admitted in the
cancer ward. He’d been newly admitted and it was by chance that she met him. She was reading a tennis magazine;
rather, she was staring at Marat in a tennis magazine when the boy entered her room.
“Hi!” The boy said, nonchalantly. “Can I come in?”
“You’re already inside, aren’t you?” She said, putting the magazine down on her side table.
“Sorry. I’m new here. My name is John. What’s yours?”
“Angela. What are you doing here?” She asked him. She wanted to be annoyed but felt to tired to. “Where are your parents?”
“They both go to work.” John said, “They come here at night.” He saw the magazine. “You like tennis? I do too. My dad plays
it. He used to teach me, until I got sick.” He opened it and scanned through the pages, “So, who’s you’re favorite
player? Andy Roddick?”
“No. Safin. Safin’s my…favorite.” She answered.
“Oh yeah, Safin! He just won Australian Open right? My mom said he’s hot…my dad doesn’t agree coz he thinks he’s hotter.
I don’t think so, but I really don’t care. I like the women. They’re all really pretty. Especially the Russians, Sharapova,
Dementieva, Kirilenko…They’re hot! What do you think?”
“I think you’re too young to even be thinking about it!” She said, smiling. She finds the kid amusing. That was the first time
she smiled since she got back from Moscow. She didn’t notice her mom, watching her with the kid at the door.
John took her hand were the patient tag was on, and read her name out. “A. Federova.” He said, “Wow! You’re Russian too!”
“Yeah, I am.” She said.
“Are all of you really beautiful?” John said, “I bet if you weren’t so pale, you’d be even prettier! I bet you’re even prettier
than Sharapova!” Then out of nowhere he asked, “Can you be my girlfriend?”
“What?!” She laughed, “You know, what? I’ll think about it. Okay?”
“Okay.” He let go of her hand. “Is it because of Safin?” He asked. “You think he’s more handsome than me?”
“Okay, kid, I think she needs to rest now. Why don’t you come by again later?” Maria came in.
“Oh, okay.” John said, “I’ll see you later Angela!”
Maria saw the magazine. She looked at Angela, and she looked away. She took the fresh flowers she brought and replaced the
ones in the vase. She was thinking about how Angela smiled at the mere mention of Marat’s name. She thought
about how she must feel happier if he was with her.
“Do you miss him?” She asked Angela. It took Angela several seconds to answer.
“There’s not a day, not an hour, not a minute that I don’t miss him.” Angela said, “He is…my whole being.”
“Do you want me to call him?” Maria asked, “Do you want me to tell him the truth.”
“No.” Angela said, firmly. “I’ve…accepted the whole situation now. And it’s better he doesn’t know.” She lied. Deep inside she
wants to be with him. “I don’t want him to know.”
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Sept 5, 2008 16:02:48 GMT 3
Chapter 34
Monte Carlo, Monaco November 25, 2005 2:00pm
Dina and Rauza were having a late lunch in a restaurant when someone approached them with some ‘news’ about Marat.
“What do you think is going on with Marat and Gelya?” Rauza asked her, “I haven’t talked to him, his phone is always off.”
“You know how he doesn’t really like using it.” Dina replied.
A couple of women came in the restaurant. They had a magazine with them, a tabloid really, and when they saw Dina and Rauza they
approached them regarding Marat.
“Hello, you are Safin’s sister right?” One of them asked.
“Yes.” Dina said simply.
“I hope your brother comes back on the tour soon. He must be bored that’s why he’s partying everywhere!” The woman said.
“And with different women all the time, it seems.” Interject the other.
“What?” Rauza exclaimed. She looked at Dina with a puzzled look.
“No, you must be mistaken.” Dina said. Careful not to let anything about his brother’s private life slip out she just said.
“He hasn’t told us anything about the women he’s dating.”
“Oh, but he’s here in the magazine.” The other woman opened the pages, “See…four women, four events, in one month.”
Dina could not believe her eyes. She looked at Rauza and she had almost the same expression only more worried. “No. It must be
a mistake. Those women must be guests in the events as well and they approached him.”
“Well, I guess that’s more than likely…” the first woman said. “Well, tell him his fans said good luck,”
“We will. Thank you.” Rauza said. “Dina, I don’t like how this is looking like.” She said when the women were out of earshot.
“Let’s get out of here, I’ll call Marat.” Dina said, “I’m really starting to worry about him and Angela.”
Meanwhile in Moscow, Marat and Dmitry were talking on the phone. They started out discussing about the coming Davis Cup finals,
when Dmitry asked about the pictures in the magazines. Marat was reluctant to tell him anything at first, but he let it out after a while.
“Did Shamil say who’s playing the singles?” Marat asked.
“No, not yet. You know him, he likes to take his time in deciding. But, I’m ready.”
“You should, coz I’m not there!” Marat laughed, “No one’s gonna save your asses!”
“Right…” Dmitry said, “Hmm…can I ask you something?”
“What? You gonna ask me to marry you now?” Marat joked.
“No. C’mon, man, I’m serious.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“There’s been a lot about you in the tabloids lately. You’re seen with different women everywhere…”
“You want cell phone number of one of them?” Marat said, “I don’t really know them so I can’t really give it to you.”
“That’s not what I was going to ask.”
“What then?”
“Your girlfriend, Angela...” Dima finally said.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.” Marat finally said. “And it’s not really any of your business.”
“Okay, man…I’m just…concerned…” Dima said. And he was concerned. Marat and him have been quite close. Marat, on the other hand,
recognized the genuineness of Dima’s concern considered telling him.
“If you want to talk about it…I’m just here.” Dima said. There was silence from Marat’s end for a while.
“She left me.” Marat finally said, after a while.
“What?” Dima didn’t catch it at first. Or perhaps it was so farfetched an idea that he could not believe it.
“She left me.” Marat repeated, “For another man.”
“Are you sure?” Dima still couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I mean, she doesn’t strike me as the type who would…”
“Neither did I. But she did it.” Marat said. “I was gonna ask her to marry me! I’m so stupid.”
“Do you know who the guy is?” Dima asked him.
“No. Just some guy named…Mark Dane…And I don’t care…I’m glad she’s gone.”
“Really?” Dima said, “You’re glad?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I don’t know…coz, man, when I saw you with her…I got the feeling that that was it for you. You love her. She’s the one.”
“It wasn’t my fault…”
“I know that man. But, won’t you even put up a fight to get her back?” Dima said, “You’re just gonna let her go without a fight?”
“What do you want me to do, man?” Marat said, “You want me to throw everything away and fly to New York to try to win back a woman
who betrayed me? Even I am not that stupid.”
“No, you’re not. But if you’re smart enough, you’d at least have some doubt about all of this. I mean, you told me she disappeared
on you eight years ago and yet she came back for you. What was that for? If she didn’t love you would she have done that?
If she didn’t love you do you think she’d have come back at all after eight years? She should’ve just forgotten about you
and moved on with her life.”
Marat wasn’t able to say anything. What Dima’s saying was making sense but he was too stubborn to admit it to himself.
“Marat, it’s not that I’m telling you what to do here. I’m just saying, if I’m reading this right, and in my gut I feel that I am, you
shouldn’t take this as you see it. I think there’s something else going on here. If I were you…if I were you, I’d investigate.”
“I’ll think about it.” Marat said. He didn’t mean it. He just said it so Dima would let it go.
“Okay man. Well, I got to go…”
“Yeah, bye.” Marat put the phone down before Dima could say another word.
He was about to get off the couch when the phone rang again.
“I said, I’ll think about it Tursunov!”
“I am not Dmitry!” Dinara said on the other end. “And what are you screaming at him for?”
“Nothing…”
“Fine. Mom wants to talk to you.” Dina told him.
“No, Dinara, I am not in the mood!” Marat said. But Dina had already handed Rauza the phone.
“Marat, what is going with you?” Rauza asked him, “Why are you going out with those women? Your pictures are all over the tabloids, and
over the Internet!”
“Mom, I am not in the mood for this.” Marat said. “I am twenty five years old, I don’t need to get this from you.”
“You will listen to me whether you are in the mood or not because I am still your mother and that’s not going to change whether your fifteen
or forty-five years old!”
“Mom, let me talk to him…” Dina said in the background.
Rauza gave her the phone, “Here. Try talking some sense into him.”
Dina took the phone and moved away from Rauza a little bit. “Marat, where is Angela? Is she okay? What did she say about the pictures?”
“I don’t give a f*$k how she is, and I don’t give a f*$k what she has to say about the pictures. I don’t care where she is and stop asking
me about her because I am not her keeper!” Marat said, and abruptly cut the call.
“Hello? Hello, Marat?”
“What happened?” Rauza asked.
“He put the phone down.” Dina said, “Mama, I think something’s wrong. I’m really worried about those two. Specially, Marat.”
“Me, too. Well, we’ll know soon enough.” Rauza “We’d be back in Moscow in two days.”
Dina was left wondering why Marat was acting that way. He was supposed to be more concerned about Angela especially since Angela must have
told him everything already.
Back in New York…
Angela’s new friend, John, has been keeping her company for the most part when her mom was out at work. She didn’t like to go out of her room
so John was always the one visiting her, and he always brought his laptop to her room when he does. He updates her on the
recent news and gossips about everything, but mostly about Marat because he thought she’d like that. And she did…except that
day. He had found a website with news about Marat and didn’t really want to show her, but she insisted.
“Oh, here’s a Russian website.” John said, “let’s see, any news about Marat Safin…” As the page loaded, his reaction changed from being excited
to worried.
“Hasn’t it loaded yet?” Angela asked, “Let me see it.”
“Ummm…I don’t know if you’d really like to see this…”
“Why? What happened to him?” Angela said, worried. “C’mon, Johnny, let me see.”
John reluctantly handed her the laptop. There were several pictures of Marat, in different events, with different girls…and then, she saw it.
At the bottom of the page, was a picture of Marat kissing a girl in public. She felt like she was splashed in a tub of ice-
cold water. She couldn’t speak. She was shocked and hurt. In her mind she was asking: How could he do that? I’m dying
here, and he’s out partying and kissing other girls? But she knew the answer. He doesn’t know. She didn’t tell him the
truth. She told him a lie, which most probably hurt him,and this was how he was retaliating. She tried forcing herself to
accept it. But in her heart, she couldn’t. She knew it was going to happen. But she didn’t expect it to happen this soon.
She sure didn’t expect that it would hurt her this much.
John felt her vibe, and took the laptop from her. “I knew I shouldn’t have shown that to you.” He said, “Your mom said you and Safin were very
close…I assumed you have some kind of relationship with him…” He continued. “But I guess it’s best this way. He’s just
gonna hurt you…”
“Get out, John.” Angela said, “Please, just get out and leave me alone for a while.”
“Okay.”
As soon as John left the room, she began sobbing uncontrollably. Outside, John saw Maria coming and told her what happened. She rushed to her room,
and saw Angela crying on her bed. She held her tightly. She felt like dying seeing her daughter like this. She knew she
played a part in all of this and she was regretful. If she had only known how much it was going to hurt Angela, she wished
she had never pressured her into leaving Marat.
November 28, 2005 12:30 pm, New York
Dr. Dane summoned Maria to his office to let her know about their observations regarding Angela’s condition. She has had a fever for two days already,
and they’ve been monitoring her. He was in front of his computer when she came in.
“Hey, the nurse said you wanted to see me?” Maria said, as she entered Dr. Dane’s office.
“Maria, hi.” He said, standing up. “Take a seat. I have something important to tell you…”
“About Angela?”
“Yes.” He walked to the chair on the other side of his table so he can be closer to Maria. He thought she might need the support when she hears what
he has to say. “Maria…I don’t know how to tell you this, but…” He looked at her. She looked calm, but a closer look in her
eyes says that she isn’t. But he has to do what he has to do and it was his duty to tell her what they’ve observed. “Her
hear beat has been gradually declining. It’s not because of the fever because it has started long before that.” He reached
for the charts on his table and opened it to the page showing a graph of her heart beat from when she was admitted to the
last two days.
“What does this mean?” Maria asked, but knowing the inevitable she started to shake. “Oh, God…is she gonna die soon?”
“I don’t know how to explain this, and I actually thought these things only happen in novels but…” He paused, he
thought being a doctor what he was about to say was unsuitable.
“What?” Maria asked.
“Some people say when a person in her condition is experiencing loss or in her case, heartbreak…that sometimes, subconsciously…the brain tells the
heart to…slow down..and eventually…”
“To stop?”
“Yes.” Dr. Dane said, “I never thought I’d say this but…I think she’s dying of a broken heart more than of her cancer.”
“Oh, my God…” Maria said, stammering. “Oh my God…this is my fault.”
“No, Maria…”
“It is my fault!” She said, crying. “I never should have pressured her to come home!”
“Maria, don’t blame yourself…”
“But it is my fault she’s feeling this way…If I only knew this was gonna happen…I never would’ve asked her to leave Marat…”
“Then I guess you know what you have to do…” Dr. Dane said. She looked at him. She knows what he was saying. She has to try to tell Marat of
Angela’s real condition. And she has to do it quickly.
8:30 pm Moscow, Russia Marat’s Apartment.
Marat was sitting on the floor in a corner of his room in his apartment. There was no party to go to, no events to attend. There was just him
and the darkness of his room. It’s these times that his loneliness catches up to him. When no one’s around and he is all by
himself, he still misses Angela. He longs for her. But, thinking that she’ll never be his, his heart still breaks every time.
Everywhere he looks, every corner of the room, he sees her. He remembers the time they spent there together, how much love
he gave her, and how much he thought she gave him back. He didn’t understand how this could all have happened. Silently he
cried, as the moon shines on him through the window. He can even still remember how that same moonlight shone on her the
first time they spent the night together in that room. When is he really gonna be able to forget her? When is he going to
move on? This he asks himself.
Suddenly, he heard the door outside clicked open. He wiped his tears off, and stood up to see who it was. It was Dina.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, surprised.
“I should be the one to ask you that.” Dina said, “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you with Angela?”
“Why should I be with her? Didn’t you get the memo?” Marat said, “She left me! She packed all her things and left me! And I don’t know why you’re
taking her side…I’m your brother you’re supposed to take my side!”
Dina has had enough. He’s raised her voice at her one too many times already. She was tired, and her patience was running low.
“Will you shut up and let me talk?!” Dina said. She didn’t expect she would be screaming at her brother either. But she continued nevertheless.
“Look, I don’t know what she told you, but if she had told you the truth this is not the way I expected you to act!” She told him.
“So why don’t you tell me the truth?” Marat said, “Tell me why she f*#$ing left me!”
“I can’t.” Dina said. She made a promise she wouldn’t.
“Why the hell not?” Marat said, pacing around the room. “You wanna know why this world suck? It’s because nobody ever say the f*#$ing truth!”
“Marat…” Dinara started saying but Marat cut her off.
“You know what? I don’t care…! I won’t believe whatever you say anyway. The truth is she left me and that’s it.”
And with that, he left. He took his car and drove around without any destination.
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Sept 8, 2008 9:55:31 GMT 3
Chapter 35
November 28, 2005 1:00 pm New York City
Maria came into Angela’s hospital room and saw her daughter sleeping. She walked silently towards her bedside and caressed her forehead gently
like she used to when she was little. She felt so sorry for her daughter, and so regretful of all the things she had done that affected
her. Angela woke up when she felt her mother’s hands.
“Mom.”
“Hi, baby…” Maria whispered. A tear escaped her eyes.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because I know that you’re sad.” Maria said, “Honey, I’m so sorry…I know that the only thing you want is to be with Marat, and I forced you to
leave him.”
“It’s okay mom.” Angela said, “I know… you only did…what you thought…was best for me…”
Maria noticed that she has difficulty speaking. “Do you want me to call him? Tell him everything?”
“No. Don’t.” Angela said, “I’ve resigned to my fate…I’m never…going to be…with him forever anyway.” She smiled, but with tears streaming on
both sides of her face. It was the kind of smile that says she’s surrendering and Maria couldn’t control her tears anymore. “It’s
better this way…I’d really rather…die on my own…than to let him…partake in my misery.”
“Honey…” She noticed Angela was shaking a bit.
“Mom…if you ever see him…years from now…when I’m long gone…you can tell him…and tell him…I loved him…only him.”
“Honey…”
“I feel so tired…” Angela said, “I’m going to sleep now…I’m so tired…”
As soon as she closed her eyes, she suddenly started shaking violently.
“Angela, what’s happening?!” Maria screamed, “Oh my God, Angela!!”
She reached for the emergency button, and within seconds a couple of nurses came rushing in the room followed by Dr. Dane.
“Mark what’s happening?!”
“She’s convulsing…coz of the fever.” Dr. Dane said, “Stay back.” He checked the monitors and it was going crazy.
The nurses were holding her steady so she won’t fall off the bed.. Then as quickly as she started to convulse she stopped.
She gasped, opened her eyes, and said, “Marat”. Then she fell back and lost consciousness. In seconds she flat-lined.
“What’s happening?!” Maria was screaming now.
Dr. Dane couldn’t talk to her, and ordered the nurse to take her out of the room. She saw the fibrillating machine taken inside the
room. She was pacing around, worried, not knowing what was happening to her daughter. John, Angela’s friend came out of his
room and sat with Maria, and they prayed together. After several minutes, Dr. Dane came out.
“Maria…”
“How is she? Is she okay? What happened? Can I go in?” She started walking towards the door.
“Wait…” Dr. Dane said.
“What is it?” She asked him. Praying in her mind that he’s not going to tell her what she fears. She wasn’t ready for it yet. “Is she…?”
“No.” He said, “She’s not…but, she’s in a coma.”
Moscow, Russia 9:15 pm
After driving around for almost an hour, Marat found himself at Gorky Park, at the same spot where he and Angela were the last time.
He was trying to figure himself out. He knows he’s angry at what Angela did, and yet he misses her.
“Why the hell did I come here?” He asked his self. Even here, she was all he remembers. “Why the hell did I come here?!”
He knocked on his head with the palm of his hand.
Then his phone rang. It was Dmitry.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, man. It’s me, Dima.” He said.
“What is it now? I’m kinda busy.”
“Well, ok…remember I told you, you should do at least a little investigating about the guy Gelya left you for? Well, I went ahead
and did it for you.”
“What the f*%& did you do that for?!” Marat said.
“Hold on just a second and listen to me first!” Dima said, “There’s a lot of Mark Danes in the world, so I focused the search on
the ones living in New York. But, there’s still about 30 Mark Danes living in New York. So I went with people with aged 25 and above
and that left me with 4. I e-mailed all of them and asked them if they knew an Angela Federova. I did this a couple of days ago. And
now, I got a reply. Turns out, he’s a doctor. He knows Angela because she’s his patient.”
“So she left me for a doctor…am I supposed to be happy about that?”
“No. But I wasn’t finished yet.” Dima continued, “In my mail, I went on to introduce myself and he knows me. And he knows you.
And he said, that he does not have any relationship with Angela apart from her being his patient…and him dating her mom.”
“What?” Marat couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“That’s right. He’s dating her mom, not her. And he said, and I quote; “As far as I’m concerned, she has a boyfriend whom she
loves very much. And that’s your friend Marat Safin.””
“Then why did she…?” Marat said, not even able to finish his sentence. This whole new revelation got his head spinning around.
Then it struck him. He remembered the night the two of them were there. He remembered the promise she asked him to make. He
remembered she had asked him to trust her. To remember that moment that she was telling the truth, and the truth was that she
loves him and no one else, and to never forget that no matter what happens.
“I don’t know man. But she must have a reason why she did it.” Dima said.
But Marat wasn’t listening to him anymore. “I have to go…” he said, “I don’t know what I gotta…I have to go.”
“Okay man.”
“Hey, Dima…thanks.”
“No problem.”
Marat ran to his car and drove back to his apartment. He hoped Dinara was still there. He needed to talk to Dinara. She knows the
truth and he was gonna make her tell him no matter what. He needed to know the truth. When he got there, Dina was just about to
go.
“Marat!” Dina said, surprised when she saw him when she opened the door.
“Dina…” Marat said, still catching his breath. “You have to tell me the truth. I need to know.”
Dinara, feeling the pressure and at the same time feeling sorry for her brother saw what she has to do.
“Okay.” She sighed, “I promise her I won’t tell you unless I really have to. I think now I do.”
“I’m listening.”
So Dinara told him everything. She told him about the files Dr. Dane sent that she read. She told him about what really happened
eight years ago. How they hid everything from him before.
“Why did she lie?” Marat asked, “Why didn’t she want to tell me? Why did she had to make up that story?”
“Maybe the same reason she didn’t want you to know about her cancer eight years ago, I don’t know. Only she knows.”
“She had cancer eight years ago?” Marat asked, shocked “How come I don’t know about this?”
“Marat, it’s why she left for New York while you were in Spain…to get treatment. She didn’t want you to know…she figured you
don’t need the distraction.”
“Distraction? It’s not a distraction…It’s her.” Marat said. He covered his face with his hands, he was confused with all of what
he’s learning. “When did you know about this? Who told you?”
“Last month…she told me.” Dina said.
“I have to see her.” Marat said, it was clear now what he has to do. “I should be with her…I’m flying there now.”
Marat stood up and made a call to book a flight to New York. But he was unsuccessful as all the flights have been fully booked.
While he was doing that, Dinara’s phone rang. It was their mother, Rauza. Marat was looking at her as her reaction changed. She
just suddenly turned white, as if all the color had drained out of her. He didn’t know why, but he got nervous.
“When did this happen?” Dina said, “Oh my God…okay mom.” She looked at Marat. “Marat…”
“What is it?” Marat asked her.
“That was mama. Angela’s mom called her…” her voice was quivering. “It’s Angela…”
Marat was getting tenser by the second. “What happened to her?” He walked towards Dina and grabbed her shoulders, “Dina,
tell me what happened!”
“She…She’s in a coma.” Dina said finally.
Marat couldn’t move. It was as if a bolt of lightning ran up his spine. It was as if a bucket full of ice-cold water was splashed at him.
“I have to go…I have to go to her…” He slumped at the couch. Everything was running on his brain and he couldn’t figure out what
to do. “I have to get to her…”
“Mom’s already booked you a flight…you can just go to the airport and claim the ticket. Go.”
“Right. Okay.” Marat stood up and took his jacket and packed a small bag with a couple of shirts. Dinara gave her the name and
address of the hospital where Angela was confined.
“Thanks.” He said, and hugged her. “And tell mom I said thanks.”
“I will.” She said. “Go, hurry. I’ll lock up.”
And he left.
|
|
|
Post by Annaya on Sept 28, 2008 11:39:36 GMT 3
Chapter 36
November 30, 2008 1:30am New York
Marat arrived in the JFK Air port. His body was tired, he hasn’t got a minute’s sleep, but his mind was fully awake. He was so
focused on getting to Angela. He hailed a cab and asked the driver to take him directly to the hospital. The streets were
unclogged because it was still very early so he got to the hospital in twenty-five minutes. But to Marat, it felt more like
a lifetime. When they got there, he paid the driver and ran inside. He asked the nurse at the information where Angela was.
As soon as he got the direction he swooped out of there. Then he saw Maria.
“Maria!” He called her across the hall.
“Marat?” She was surprised. He didn’t expect him to be there that soon.
“I took the first plane out as soon as I learned.” Marat said, still panting. He took a deep breath. “Where is she?
I want to see her.”
Maria nodded, she took his arm and led him to the room where Angela was.
“I’ll leave you for a while.” She said, and she left the room.
Marat just stood at the door for a few seconds. He saw her lying there, with all the wires and tubes connected to her
and he just can’t believe it. He started walking towards her. He felt so sorry for the things he had done and said about
Angela when she left. He could not believe the audacity of his actions while she was suffering in that hospital, when she
needed him most. His breathing was heavy. He stood at her bedside and looked at her. He reached for her hand. When he
held it in his hands his tears just broke out of his eyes. He couldn’t contain them in anymore. His heart just turned to
rubble as he uttered the same words over and over; “I’m sorry…I love you. I’m here now…I’m sorry…”
Maria came back after about an hour. Marat was so tired from the trip and having no sleep at all and from crying,
she found him sitting on the chair beside Angela’s bed, still holding her daughter’s hand. She looked at the two and realized
how wrong she was to want to separate them. She felt sorry for the two of them. She took the blanket on the couch and placed
it over Marat.
9:30am
The sun was shining through the window and woke Marat up. Maria came in with two cups of coffee.
“I thought you might be awake already.” She said, “Here.” She gave Marat a cup.
“Thanks.” Marat said, taking the cup. He looked at Angela, he still haven’t let go of her hand. He gave it a kiss, and
stood up to sit with Maria at the couch. Neither spoke for a while until Maria did.
“Marat, thank you for coming.” She said.
“I’m where I should be.” Marat said, “Beside her. It’s where I should be.”
“I want to apologize…” She couldn’t continue. She didn’t know which one to say first of all the things she’s done that
ended up where they were.
“It’s okay.” Marat said, “You only did what you thought was the right thing to do, like you did eight years ago.”
“You know about that too?” She asked.
Marat nodded. “Why didn’t she tell me then?” He asked, “I would have understood if she told me. Why didn’t she want to
tell me?”
“She didn’t want you to worry.” Maria said, “She figured, if she becomes better quickly you won’t have to know. But she
didn’t get better quick enough. It took a couple of years of treatment. She lost weight, she lost her hair…” Her voice
began to quiver, and her eyes started to tear up. “She didn’t even want to have her picture taken. It took another year
after she was healed for her to get herself back. And then she lost you.”
“What do you mean?”
“She went to see you, while you were playing in the US Open in 2000 when you won. She planned to go up to you after you won.
She was sure you would win. But she learned that you already have another girlfriend. So she didn’t.” She wiped her tears
off. “She cried all day and all night upon learning. I thought she’d give up on you already and move on. But she didn’t…
she came back to you. She never ever stopped loving you. You are the only man she loves.”
It was Marat’s turn to tear up. He couldn’t believe how much he has hurt Angela over and over, how much she’s suffered physically
and emotionally and he didn’t even know about it. He felt so bad and so guilty. He stood up and sat at the stool beside
Angela’s bedside again. Right then, he promised, he would never leave her again.
November 31, 2008 8:30pm
It has already been more than 72 hours since Angela went into a coma. Marat has not left the hospital since he got there. Dr. Dane
let him borrow some of his clothes since he only had two shirts and the pants he was wearing. Maria bought him some underwear
and toiletries because he didn’t even pack some.
Maria had told him she was going to the restaurant and asked if it would be okay for her to leave Angela with him. He agreed of course.
Marat was about to go out to get some coffee. He stopped when he saw Maria and Dr. Dane talking outside near the coffee
machine. He overheard what they were talking about.
“You can’t mean that.” Maria said, “You can’t tell me that you’re giving up. She’s going to wake up from this.”
“Maria, you know I too am hoping for that.” Dr. Dane said, “But we have to be realistic. You need to consider the situation. She’s
been in a coma for three days already. If she doesn’t wake up soon…we have to take the machine off…and let things go natu-
rally.”
“No! I don’t care how much that machine is gonna cost. I’ll pay it. But you can’t take it off her.”
“Maria…I’m just saying, maybe you should…” He said.
“NO! No, Mark…” She said, “I’m not ready to let her go…I can’t…I’m not ready.”
“I know.” He said. “Look, I have to do my rounds…”
“Yeah, I have to go to the restaurant too…” She said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
After Dr. Dane left her, she didn’t leave immediately. She sat at the bench near the coffee vendo-machine. Marat approached her acting
like he didn’t hear anything.
“Marat!” She said, surprised. “You been there long?”
“No.” He said, “Just getting some coffee…I thought you were going to the restaurant?”
“I am…I just…” She didn’t continue what she was saying.
“Don’t worry. I’ll look after her.” Marat volunteered. “I’ll call you if something happens.”
Maria nodded, “Okay. Thanks.” Then she stood up and left.
Marat went back to Angela’s room. He entered and closed the door slowly behind him. He knew what they were talking about. They’re talking
about pulling the plug on Angela. But, like Maria he’s not ready to let go of Angela neither. He walked towards Angela.
He looked at her for a minute. She looked so pale. He leaned over to her and held her.
“Angela. Please wake up.” He whispered in her ear. “Please…wake up. I need you.” He cried, burying his face on the pillow beside her face.
“God…I never ask you for anything. And I’ll never ask You again if You just grant me this. Please, bring Angela back. I
know she doesn’t have much longer. But, please…let me at least apologize to her…let me say good bye.” He was shaking from
crying, and he held her tighter. “Angela, please…if you can hear me…wake up. Come back to me. Wake up for me.”
He fell asleep holding her. He didn’t see when her fingers moved.
|
|